Is DCUM only for parents?

[Anonymous]

Hi Jeff,

I came across your site a little while ago, most interesting in reading off-topics, health, beauty, expecting moms, etc. I am not a parent yet but married and thinking about kids, planning, reading peoples stories and opinions for our future interests me and I like seeing whats up in the various forums.

Last week, there were a few threads, not directly about parenting per se (one was in the parenting forum though) asking for input, so I gave mine while stating I was not a parent. There have been some posters who are intent that if you are not a parent you should not be on this site and we have no right (non-parents) to be here. There are many of us non-parents because I have noticed that in one particular thread people stated if they did or did not have kids.

I would like you as the owner of the site to set everyone straight on if this site is only intended for parents. Rather then dispute in a thread I wanted to ask the source himself. Some of the so-called parents making posts were extremely rude with their posts to non-parents and with "absolute authority" told us not to be on here.

If non-parents are not welcome, I will gladly leave DCUM, but this has so many forums and topics that I do not think that is the intention even if the name says that.

I appreciate you taking the time to clear this up!

[jsteele]

Of course DCUM is open to non-parents. Many, perhaps most, nannies are not parents and they are one of our larger audiences. That's not to say that non-parents should be limited to nannies, but just an example. Many of our forums are on topics to which being a parent makes little difference, eg. the politics and beauty forums. But, I don't know why a non-parent couldn't provide advice even in the parenting-oriented forums.

The one thing that I will say -- as a parent -- is that we have many preconceptions prior to becoming parents that get tossed to the wayside pretty quickly once we are parents. If you are ever in a restaurant and a kid is throwing a tantrum, you may say to yourself, "I would never allow my child to behave that way." But, I say, "just wait." So, you might keep that in mind when responding to parenting posts.

[Anonymous]

Hi Jeff, thanks and I appreciate your response. I completely understand the "seeing the situation one way" without kids, and thats why I have only made a couple comments on the parenting fourms, in most cases its more of an overall opinion type of thing.

In any case, thanks for setting it straight and hopefully now when I out myself as a non-parent, I do not receive as many "get off of here" posts. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

That being said, be prepared to be criticized for posting on a parenting forum as a non-parent (I'm talking about your reference to the actual parenting forums, not the beauty, etc.). We come here for advice from people who are in the same boat, not people who are judging from the sidelines. That's where people's irritation comes from. This is an actual resource for many of us, not fodder for other people's criticisms who have no idea what they're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That being said, be prepared to be criticized for posting on a parenting forum as a non-parent (I'm talking about your reference to the actual parenting forums, not the beauty, etc.). We come here for advice from people who are in the same boat, not people who are judging from the sidelines. That's where people's irritation comes from. This is an actual resource for many of us, not fodder for other people's criticisms who have no idea what they're talking about.

This is how I feel, too. When someone posts that you "should" wheel your kids to the car in the grocery cart, strap them in their car seats, load the car with groceries, unfasten your kids from their car seats and put them back in the cart, return the cart and then go back to the car and re-snap your kids in their car seats because it's the right thing to do -- well, it's a big fat waste of time being judged harshly by someone who thinks that they would actually behave this way when they have kids, and if they can do it in their minds, we should be able to do it in reality. Big waste of time.

There is a good thread about this now by the woman whose friend who disciplined her DC while visiting.

And if this site becomes less populated with parents than with non-parents, there will be little point in it. The internet is filled with all kinds of sites, for people who have particular interests. I don't see why parenting is any different.

[Anonymous]

Wow, see here you all come. I posted this to ask Jeff the owner of the site...and who are YOU to think I am the one making the posts you disagree with. You could very well not know it was me (I atleast say I am not a parent) and could think I am the smartest person alive with no kids.

This is why I asked Jeff and he said that even non-parents can post on parenting, but did say to use caution and not just go off bc I have an opinion on right vs. wrong parenting. Please get a life and stop being so rude and conceeded. There and thats NOT parenting advice!

[Anonymous]

Wait for it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait for it...

Too easy. Like a sitting duck. Or should I say ceeting duk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, see here you all come. I posted this to ask Jeff the owner of the site...and who are YOU to think I am the one making the posts you disagree with. You could very well not know it was me (I atleast say I am not a parent) and could think I am the smartest person alive with no kids.

This is why I asked Jeff and he said that even non-parents can post on parenting, but did say to use caution and not just go off bc I have an opinion on right vs. wrong parenting. Please get a life and stop being so rude and conceeded. There and thats NOT parenting advice!

what?

[Anonymous]

Maybe you can email Jeff if you want a private exchange with him. This is the website feedback forum.

[Anonymous]

I think I may know the thread you are refering too - and I understand your frustration. However, it IS sometimes frustrating as a parent when people post their opinions (which we remember having ourselves pre-kid) that are coming from a place that is based with lack of experience.

That being said, sometimes it is good to remind us that there are people without children out there, eating in resteraunts, going to stores, and that parents are not the only people in the world. I'm glad that parents (and people TTC) are not the only people visiting this site. It helps keep it interesting - even if you provide contrasting POV. That's what keeps life (and DCUM) interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait for it...

Too easy. Like a sitting duck. Or should I say ceeting duk.

Maybe there are some smart, witty women left here after all.

[Anonymous]

Its sad people have to be so inconsiderate. This is a great website with lots of great information for so many people but it gets tarnished by those who like to put others down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, see here you all come. I posted this to ask Jeff the owner of the site...and who are YOU to think I am the one making the posts you disagree with. You could very well not know it was me (I atleast say I am not a parent) and could think I am the smartest person alive with no kids.

This is why I asked Jeff and he said that even non-parents can post on parenting, but did say to use caution and not just go off bc I have an opinion on right vs. wrong parenting. Please get a life and stop being so rude and conceeded. There and thats NOT parenting advice!

No, you did post this to ask Jeff. You could have asked him through a PM. You posted it to get Jeff to publicly agree with you. You are a rude, wimpy, tattletale. I'm pretty sure nobody would think that you are the smartest person alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, see here you all come. I posted this to ask Jeff the owner of the site...and who are YOU to think I am the one making the posts you disagree with. You could very well not know it was me (I atleast say I am not a parent) and could think I am the smartest person alive with no kids.

This is why I asked Jeff and he said that even non-parents can post on parenting, but did say to use caution and not just go off bc I have an opinion on right vs. wrong parenting. Please get a life and stop being so rude and conceeded. There and thats NOT parenting advice!

No, you did post this to ask Jeff. You could have asked him through a PM. You posted it to get Jeff to publicly agree with you. You are a rude, wimpy, tattletale. I'm pretty sure nobody would think that you are the smartest person alive.

Of course I posted this to ask him? Where did I say I did not? Thanks for the name calling, I really appreciate it. I do not know how to PM so I asked the way I thought I was supposed to ask him questions. If he thought I had done it inappropriately he would have told me so. His response was very nice and well informative and I thank him and the other nice people on here who I can carry out normal conversations with in a forum. It seems as though I am more mature then you would think because I have not name called and been mean towards people for no reason. Have a good day!