Bringing baby to a nice restaurant

[Anonymous]

FTM here, and I need some advice on babies in restaurants. We've been taking our 9 month old DD out to casual restaurants with us since she was 2 weeks old. She's quiet and well-behaved, and is able to sit in the high chair without complaint the entire time, eating babyfood/small bits off our plates, babbling, and people watching. I love our little outings with her and am thinking about branching out into nicer restaurants, but I'm just not sure she would be welcome there.

How do you feel about babies in more upscale restaurants? I really don't want to be disrespectful/annoying to other diners by bringing in a fussy baby to interrupt their nice evening, but would diners get just as upset about having a quiet, happy baby around? I mean, she's a baby so she is going to babble a bit, but I dont' know how annoying that is to most people (or even how noticeable it would be since most restaurants are so loud these days). FWIW, dinners out with DD usually happen around 5, so we'd be done by the time the big dinner rush came in.

Should I just call the restaurant ahead of time to ask if they have high chairs? Presumably, a restaurant with high chairs would be ok with a baby whereas ones without would not?

Sorry this post is a bit disjointed. I'm just kind of confused if taking DD to a nicer restaurant is an option at all.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was like this at that age. Perfect kid every time we took her out. We were nervous about taking her out for my parents' 45th wedding anniversary to the country club restaurant in the community they live in - very nice, upscale, lots of retirees with lots of money, etc. It was a disaster! Thank god there was only one other couple there (quite elderly, and they jokingly said no problem, they'll just turn their hearing aids down). The woman came up to us after they were done eating and said, "These babies, they can smell fear! She knew you were nervous about bringing her in here!" It turned out well because the other family was so understanding and gracious, but she hasn't been in anything resembling an upscale restaurant since (she's almost 2). It's just not worth the risk of ruining other people's dinners in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

It depends what you mean by upscale. Citronelle? No. DC Coast? I think that's fine. It's good that you're going early.

One caveat, though - the more upscale the place, the less tolerant parents should be about disruptions. In a casual/family restaurant, if a child gets fussy, I think it's fine to wait it out a bit to see if he/she calms down. In an upscale restaurant, though, the minute the kid gets fussy you need to remove him or her. I'm not saying go home immediately, but take a walk outside. If the child doesn't calm down, you do need to leave. It's not OK to let them work through it in the restaurant. If other people are paying $200+ for a meal, they're entitled to a pleasant atmosphere - or at least the atmosphere they expected when making the reservations. At an upscale restaurant, that doesn't include child disruptions, even at 5:00.

Short version - at a more upscale place, the leash is a little shorter.

[Anonymous]

We took our then 9 mo to Capitol Grille. A friend invited us. I called ahead and asked them to be frank with me and indicated I would understand if they prefer no babies and they were quite nice and assured me it was not a problem. They had a high chair. We ate at like 530--she was good and it was fine. We were prepared to take her outside if she became a disturbance. I think the key is to be willing to get your child out of there if it's a problem.

[Anonymous]

I dont have kids yet but OP- I commend you on even thinking about this. Many parents with babies do not care and when they bring their chld to very nice places they also do not care how they behave.

My DH and I eat at really nice places like Mortons, Bourbon Steak, etc. Personally, I do not think it is appropriate to bring a baby to those places but I have seen it done. I caution you that as soon as the baby makes a sound please to go outside. Most people going to these places do not want to hear a crying baby and I am not saying this to be rude its just the way it is. I also would not want to hear someone talking on their cell phone. Hope this helps!

[Anonymous]

We lived in DC until DS was 6 months old, and we loved eating out and taking him with us. At that age, they're so small and it's easy to put him in the Moby and he'd just fall asleep while I ate. If he got fussy, I'd go outside, but he usually just fell asleep. It was awesome. Now that he's a busy toddler, I haven't gone out to a nice restaurant in...ages. I miss it!!

[Anonymous]

NO. NO. NO.

OP, I will try my best to put this as clearly and nicely as possible. I strongly believe I am in the majority, and I definitely am within my social circle. If DH and I get out only twice per year for special occasions (we do); have NO help and NO family bear by (we don't); and are saving our money and looking forward to a nice night out - we DO NOT want it to be around anyone's DC. NOT EVEN YOURS. Is that clear?

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP.
Remember, we as parents get completely desensitized to the sounds of out kids.
What you think of as gently babbling probably sounds like screaming to someone without kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you got your answer, but I'm curious--why do you want to take your baby to a nice restaurant? It's not like she will be able to tell the difference at this age, and if you can afford to eat out so often, and to go to nice restaurants, you can probably afford a sitter for a few hours. So why take the kid along?

[Anonymous]

why do you want to take your baby to a nice restaurant? It's not like she will be able to tell the difference at this age, and if you can afford to eat out so often, and to go to nice restaurants, you can probably afford a sitter for a few hours. So why take the kid along?

I completely agree with this. If you can comfortably spend $200 just to eat a nice meal, then you can also afford the $45 for the babysitter. Right? Imogene doesn't care that the ham is from an heirloom pig and the tender lettuce is locally sourced.

Cut the strings!

[Anonymous]

I agree that it depends on the child, the restaurant and the time you go. We've been to plenty mid-upscale restaurants and they have been very accommodating. I think a good thing to do is ask in advance if they have high chairs-- always a sign of whether or not they are OK with kids.

I would not bring a small child to the fanciest of fancy places. I would also go on the early side when it is less crowded and when my daughter is in a better mood. And of course, if she is not in the right mood, I'd hightail it out of there.

[Anonymous]

This topic has been beaten like a dead horse. I agree with the previous poster who said when they said it depends on what you mean by upscale. We take our kids to places like BLT steak all the time. Wouldn't take them to Citronelle. My 3 year old is very well behaved he seems to know no different since we have never restricted the restaurants we take him too. Or 4 month old has never made a sound.

You will get so many different answers here...

[Anonymous]

We've brought our 18 month old to plenty of nice restaurants (not super upscale, but nice!) since he was born. I think he's one of the exceptions for kids though - he loves to people watch and hardly fusses in new places where there are people around. We do eat earlier if with him, and if he did start crying, we'd take him out immediately. We're actually reaching the limit of what he can stand, I think, so we're going to fewer nice restaurants with him lately.

We've been to a few restaurants that don't have high chairs, and the last we asked if we could bring our own, and they had no problem with it.. we made sure our kid was occupied and civilized the whole time. Not all kids can handle it (and ours is just about done, really!) so it depends on your child!

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. For your own benefit, if nothing else.

[Anonymous]

I sat next to one child who shrieked really loud all through our dinner. The parents thought it was great. The rest of the place, definitely not. I would not suggest it, OP.