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How do you "break up" with a therapist?
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Anonymous
| I know we have lots going on, with the looming shut down and all, but I'm faced with an awkward situation. I don't like my therapist for various reasons. It's been about three months and it's just not working out. How do I "break up" with her? I'm really at a loss. |
Anonymous
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Someone posted this exact topis and I think the same title a few weeks ago...is this the same person.
Why is it so damn hard for some people to make decisions. Why do you feel like you cannot say "I do not want to come to therpay anymore?" You are an adult so make the decison and stop going. |
Anonymous
| If you feel like you've done the work you need to do, say that you think you are ready to stop therapy. If you don't feel that you are making progress, say that. Your therapist will probably want to talk about that, and it is your call how much you feel comfortable saying. I do understand how difficult this is and have been there. I had one therapist try to talk me out of quitting with her and I stuck to my plan to quit but was a wreck afterward. Other therapists have been completely professional and understanding and supportive. Whenever you are going to have this conversation, plan something nice for yourself afterward, whether it is a quiet evening, dinner with a close friend, or whatever will help you in the event that it is a difficult conversation. |
Anonymous
9:37 here. Have you ever been in therapy? I think not. It's a very close and unique relationship. Also, perhaps one of the reasons OP is in therapy is to learn to assert herself. |
Anonymous
| OP, some therapists are difficult to get away from. They are worse than children: why? why? why? I have seen some where everything is about them. No actually, I was late because of traffic, not because of some underlying thing about you, you, you! You wonder if just anyone gets licensed. Sometimes they keep following up by calling and calling, which would not be acceptable the other way around. Just tell her you will call her to re/schedule and then don't. |
Anonymous
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There has to be at least 50 ways . . . let's see . . . you could slip out the back Jack, get a new plan Stan, drop of the key Lee, after all there is no need to be coy Roy.
OK, actually only the last one applies. There is no need to be coy, just leave her a voice mail message canceling your next appointment and tell her that you don't think working together is working for you. As long as you say you will be finding another therapist there should be no reason why she should call you to discuss whether you are just trying to avoid therapy. |
Anonymous
| I had a hard time doing this myself. I gradually cut back from once a week to every other week. Then I had to cancel an appointment....and I never rescheduled. I think that is the easiest way. I was in therapy for 6 years too..."breaking up" with her was more difficult than I expected. |
Anonymous
Ah yeah I have Ms. Know it All. And I think that if she is done with therapy or supposevly completed it 1) she should be able to make her own decisions and 2) if she still needs therapy but wants a new therapist she should go find another one and then cut ties with the other therapist. And if someone is seeing a therapist that would not let them leave for whatever reason they they are not a productive therapist. |
Anonymous
| You could always schedule your next appointment as usual and then call to cancel and say you can't reschedule then because you don't have your calendar with you. Then just never call back to reschedule. |
Anonymous
Yup. You're firing someone because the service isn't satisfactory. Your only obligation is to be clear and kind. "Thank you for your help, but I don't think this has been a good fit for me, so I'm going to look for another therapist. Thank you again." Done. Anyone inclined to bug you after that needs to talk to his/her own therapist. Ignore further communications, and if you accidentally pick up the phone or something, just repeat the same and get off the phone quickly, while remaining pleasant. |
Anonymous
| I started with a therapist and we just didn't have good chemistry or vibes. We just didn't click. Our sessions had some utility and were covered by insurance so I stuck with it for six months before I had to cancel an appointment because of work travel. I told him I was busy and didn't want to meet as usual and that I'd call when I was back in town and things were calm again. Then I just never called again. I know it was really lame but it worked for me. He never called me to follow up. |
Anonymous
I completely agree with this. Great language. Direct and honest but not unkind. Also a good example of taking good care of yourself and your needs. Go for it! |
Anonymous
| Why don't you just cancel your appointment and say you'll reschedule later....and then don't reschedule? |
Anonymous
No it's not the same person, but you are a total bitch. See? I made my own decision to call you a bitch. Do I meet your approval now? I was looking for the exact responses that other people found in their hearts to give me. Thank you to rest of you who gave me some ideas and tools to consider on how to do this. Above poster, you're just a nasty bitch. There, I said it again. |
Anonymous
haha OP now I know why you are in therpay. Anger issues much? Well if we are going to name call you are a dumb ass who needs to get some intelligence and make her own big girl decisions. I hope your therapist can help you with that. You need to get more help honey! |