How do you "break up" with a therapist?

[Anonymous]

OP why are you so annoyed? You asked for the help. Might not be what you wanted to hear but what did you expect? this decision should not involve a panel to help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP why are you so annoyed? You asked for the help. Might not be what you wanted to hear but what did you expect? this decision should not involve a panel to help you.

The OP asked for advice. She didn't ask for snotty, condescending remarks.

I don't relate to the OP's difficulty; this just wouldn't be a challenge for me. I'm sure I have challenges that she would find simple. This situation is very simple to me, so I tried to lay out my approach simply. That's the constructive thing to do.

If you see a question that seems strange or ridiculous to you, or that evinces to you some failing of the poster, such that you immediately make some negative judgment (as If often do), the correct response is to STFU and move on to some thread to which you can contribute something positive (assuming that exists). Posting something nasty does nothing for anyone, and it isn't even funny - it just adds to the sum bad feeling in the world.

Posts like the snotty one here, which are obviously all over this board, are the equivalent to someone in the IT dep't or on a help line snorting and mocking your ignorance, with the exception that you lack the expertise.

Put more simply: if you have nothing constructive to say, say nothing.

[Anonymous]

For all of you who think I can't make a decision or were asking how to make a decision, that's not what I posted. I made the decision to leave this therapist. I didn't need someone telling me I'm an adult who should be able to make my own decision. I looked for advice from people who have left a therapist, and got good responses, except from someone who just wants to be a bitch.
That's why I'm annoyed.

[Anonymous]

PP above, you and many other people are ultra sensitive. How is the post you quoted snarky or mean? It says the comment about a panel to help OP but its the persons opinion stating that she could do it on her own in the posters opinion. I love how people post on here and then cannot take the responses. No one called names until the OP did. Get thicker skin or get off public internet boards.

[Anonymous]

11:23, thank you. That's a much better way of phrasing it than I had said. I don't understand why people feel the need to make someone feel bad. If I reacted strongly to someone deliberately trying to make me feel bad, so be it.

[Anonymous]

OP is a a bitch!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP above, you and many other people are ultra sensitive. How is the post you quoted snarky or mean? It says the comment about a panel to help OP but its the persons opinion stating that she could do it on her own in the posters opinion. I love how people post on here and then cannot take the responses. No one called names until the OP did. Get thicker skin or get off public internet boards.

I quoted that post b/c it asked the question I was answering; I didn't think it was bitchy, but the poster was wondering why the OP had responded as she had. The bitchy post was the second post in this thread.

But even re the post I quoted, what's the point? It's very popular on this board to respond to a thread by criticizing its foundation premises. I see lots of threads here that I think are based on a completely flawed perspective, and I make lots of negative internal judgments about those OPs, but I don't then post just to say, "You're a moron for even asking that question." What's the point of that?

If you post on this board asking the best way to do something, it's virtually guaranteed that one of the first few posters will tell you that you're stupid for ever wanting to do it. And re your idea that this is just how it is on the internet, that's not my experience. There are lots of places where people just have civil exchanges, and many where knowledgeable people answer even the stupidest of questions.

I'll have to tell my wife what you said about me being ultra-sensitive - she'll get a kick out of that.

[Anonymous]

I would phone and say that it's nothing personal but, as sometimes happens, it's just not a good fit for you and you're going to be switching to another therapist who will be a better fit. If the therapist pressures you or tries to spin it that you are stopping therapy because you're getting to a difficult place in your treatment, just resist and reiterate that you just don't feel comfortable with him/her and it's not a good fit for you. Then say thanks, bye and hang up. As a matter of basic courtesy, I would not schedule an appointment or just disappear without letting the therapist know you won't be coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know we have lots going on, with the looming shut down and all, but I'm faced with an awkward situation. I don't like my therapist for various reasons. It's been about three months and it's just not working out. How do I "break up" with her? I'm really at a loss.

Just say it isn't a good fit for you but thank you for your time. End of story.

[Anonymous]

I agree. You could cancel and not call back, or call and say you feel like it's time to get another perspective on your...(whatever reason you entered therapy). As long as the therapist knows you will get treatment somewhere, he/she should leave you alone.