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FTM will be 38 weeks on Sunday and nothing so far... will this baby come?
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Anonymous
| I'll be 38 weeks on Sunday and just got back from the OB where I am not dilated at all, barely effaced, and baby is still carrying high. Guess I just need reassurance- I think all the lack of sleep from being uncomfortable and not being able to breath is catching up with me, but I really thought by this point there would be a little more happening. Am I wrong? Never been through this before so any advice/support would be appreciated! Thanks! |
Anonymous
| 41 weeks, 3 days is the average first time gestation. |
Anonymous
| Hang in there, OP. I will be 40 weeks on Sunday and there is nothing happening. Seriously. Not a damn thing. Just know that it could be a while longer so start making lists...I swear my condo has never been so clean... |
Anonymous
| they should give women due months, not due dates...really! just get in your mind that it could be a few more weeks...and hang in there. when your baby is ready, he or she will come...promise! |
Anonymous
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lots is happening! look at your belly! it didn't look like that 9 months ago did it? i don't get the whole "nothing is happening" thing -- i mean of course something is happening! you're pregnant. pregnancy almost always transitions into labor, and then labor into birth. just because you're not dilated doesn't mean "nothing" is happening. there's lots going on inside that we can't see, right?
i didn't dilate at all until my labor began around 41 weeks (which as a PP said is very normal for a first time mom). many moms don't dilate, efface, etc. before labor. there's lots else happening -- cervix rotating, softening, hormones, etc. i don't think it's necessarily realistic to expect to see dilation or effacement at 38 weeks. and the lack of effacement and dilation are certainly no indication that you're not going to go into labor. i know it's hard to imagine that it will happen. but normal gestation can be up to 42 weeks. there's still plenty of time for your body to go into labor. cervical checks before labor really don't tell you when you will go into labor or how your labor will be. i think often they just lead to women doubting themselves, feeling like a failure, and feeling more impatient. when i went past my due date i was totally dejected, felt like a failure, felt sure my body would never go into labor. but sure enough just past 41 weeks my labor started. it was 9 hours long, went very smoothly, and everything was great ... and i hadn't been a bit dilated beforehand. i know the waiting is hard, but you really will have a baby. and try not to get discouraged by those cervical checks -- they are kind of worthless. |
Anonymous
Right. Those checks don't tell you when you'll go into labor just how much has to happen once you do. The day my OB told me it was going to be a while (40 weeks), I went into labor. |
Anonymous
| OP here- thanks for all the quick responses and for sharing your insights and experiences. I feel better! To 16:30- I had to smile at our similarities! I already have lists going. Yesterday I spent about 3 hours on my hands and knees dusting and then washing baseboards. It does feel good to get things so clean. |
Anonymous
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OP, just wanted to show that it could be sooner than you think...I was at a meeting on a Tuesday night and told everyone that asked that I was READY to have this baby! I was two weeks from my due date and everyone told me that it would be awhile since I was a FTM....fast forward 8 hours and I was in labor Wednesday morning!
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Anonymous
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Could be any day now. Could also be weeks from now.
But really, as a mother of 3, I can't help but say this (even though I fully appreciate how uncomfortable you are). Please don't worry about when the baby will come and instead, enjoy your last few days pre-baby. Life changes so dramatically. Like you, I was sooooo anxious for my baby to come. I don't think I fully appreciated those last days prior to my first being born, when I only had to worry about myself. I could go to the store without any aggravation. I could go out to dinner without being any worry of newborn / toddler / older kid making a fuss... Ahh....I love being a mother, but I sometimes miss those days. Don't be like me - ENJOY YOUR TIME. Okay, I know you have heard that before, but really truly try to enjoy. |
Anonymous
I'm with you OP! 38w1d. Definite effacement - 60%ish - and a 'fingertip' dilated since 36 weeks. Baby was breech until a few weeks ago, has now turned but OB generously gave me a -2 station when he's definitely pretty high - I can't breathe either bc I can feel him way up under my boobs. I've heard SO many stories about FTM's going early or late with no real indication of when (dilation, effacement etc all turned out pretty irrelevant), so I'm trying to make my neurotic self accept that it's just going to happen when it happens. I'm still working, which helps, but obviously not focusing that well. Maybe I will see you at the hospital soon 
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Anonymous
| totally agree about enjoying your time. i RUINED the end of my pregnancy waiting to go into labor, worrying i wouldn't go into labor, believing i wouldn't go into labor, trying every old wive's tale under the sun to try to get myself into labor, and just generally freaking out. people told me to just enjoy the time before the baby, and i wanted to slap them!!!!! i just wanted my baby and wanted to know that my body would go into labor. well, hindsight's 20/20 and all those people whose necks i wanted to wring were right, dammit!!!!! i wish i would have just relaxed, had faith that it would all unfold as it needed to, and really enjoyed that quiet time before the baby arrived. so much easier said than done, but so so right. |
Anonymous
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I was the opposite. 4cm dilated and 50% effaced for 4 weeks before I finally went into labor at 41 w - 3 hours before my scheduled induction. Even if you were showing progress, its certainly no indication of when you'll go into labor.
Good luck and hang in there - all babies come out eventually! |
Anonymous
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See a bunch of movies (go someplace with comfy seats and sit on the aisle so you can take potty breaks). Meet friends for lunch or coffee. Enjoy dinners out. Do some yoga or get a massage.
Pretty certain that your baby will arrive eventually, just after 41 weeks was how long mine liked to "cook". |
Anonymous
| Nothing was happening to me at 40 weeks. Then 3 days later my labor started, and the next day I delivered my DS. My midwife was very surprised. So, it really could be anytime soon, or you could continue to 42 weeks. Enjoy the quiet while you can. |
Anonymous
| I went into labor at 38 weeks five days -- 0 effacement, 0 dilation. I don't know why they bother with these checks. |