Does anyone SAHM after age 4 or 5?

[Anonymous]

I know alot of moms who stay home for 1,2, or 3 years but almost all plan to go back to work. In my neighborhood, there is one woman who has stayed at home with kids in elementary school and she admits that she never really had a career and didn't need to work for financial reasons. Does anyone do this anymore?

[Anonymous]

I know several people on my street alone who stay home with older kids.

[Anonymous]

I know lots of people as well. I also know some people who have worked during the toddler years but stay home (or plan to) once the child is in elementary school, so that mom can be involved with after-school activities, volunteer, etc.

[Anonymous]

Mine too. I think they're just not on this board much as evidenced by the lack of traffic on the older kids section.

[Anonymous]

There a few SAHM's in my neighborhood for elementary school. It really is tough working full-time and have a child going to school unless you rely on before and after school programs. The school hours are so short and with commute time you would never make it home in time. I work part-time so that I can be home with them when they get home from school. But there is not much time to shop for groceries and for volunteering at the school if you're working between those hours. I wish I knew more parents of the elementary school children. You send them on the bus and so you don't get a chance to meet other parents. Now for birthdays you just drop off your kid. Anyway, does anyone know of an online forum like this one for older children?

[Anonymous]

My MIL is a career SAH. Lazy as all hell, house is always a mess and dinner comes out of a can and she does not even work out and keep her body in shape. What does she do all day? I could never tell.

[Anonymous]

I have an almost 6 yr old who is in kindergarten. I went back to work full time when she was about 2.5 yrs old. My friends who stay at home currently have children under 5 and plan on returning to work eventually, but I don't think they have determined exactly when that will be. I think the trend seems to be that a lot of women return within 5 yrs, but that is just what I have personally seen.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor stays at home with her 6 and 8 yr old daughters, but she wants to go back to work full-time. She's a lawyer (who previously worked for a prestigious DC law firm), and has not been able to find a job - she is unwilling to take a position with very demanding hours and crazy travel, so her choices are somewhat limited. So I guess she is a SAHM by default, although she does seem to enjoy it and keeps herself very busy volunteering at her kids' school and her church.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be ideal to work PT once kids are in elementary so I can be there for soccer practice, active in school, etc.... -- this is why I am working now and maxing out retirement funds, all benefits, etc...

I dont think there is any easy answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a career SAH. Lazy as all hell, house is always a mess and dinner comes out of a can and she does not even work out and keep her body in shape. What does she do all day? I could never tell.

Well, PP, your MIL is one example, but let's not generalize from a sample of one, okay? OP, many women choose to stay home or work part-time when their children are in school. As another poster noted, to do otherwise is to rely on before- and after-school programs very extensively. I for one don't want to do that, so I plan to work PT.

[Anonymous]

I'm about to quit my 3 day /week job because my oldest is starting kindergarden and I want to be home in the afternoons but I still have a 2.5 yr old that I don't want to send to day care every day. I wanted to make a job switch anyway so I plan to be out a couple of years then hope to work 15-20 hrs week while they're both in school. Of course that still leaves the summers. . .

[Anonymous]

I have been told a number of times that it is more important to be home when older children get out of school, to be involved in school, after school activities, etc.

But I work full time and have a 3YO, so what do I know.

[Anonymous]

I know quite a few. I also know one mom who is working during elementary school but will quit again once her kids hit their pre-teens. I totally understand this. I remember always going to my one friend's house after school in 8th grade where both parents worked. It is where I tried my first cigarette, had my first drink and got into all kinds of trouble.

It's something that I am going to think about when my kids hit the pre-teen years. Do I work, have a limited schedule to be home after school or just stay home?

[Anonymous]

this thread looks poised to attack women who choose to stay home--my mom was a SAHM and I think she did a great job and no she wasn't lazy --she was thrilled (and should add holds a masters degree) with being with us and wanted the op to be home when we were home and to be able to participate in school activities. A lot of moms were thankful she was around since she tended to host activities at our house after school as well as was the queen of car pool. SAHM is a choice just like being a WM is a choice--one isn't better.

[Anonymous]

I work (part time, so I get to do all the school activities, etc.) but I have a lot of friends whose kids are in school and who have no intention of ever going back to work. They have cleaning services, so I'm not sure what they do all day. but they seem to keep busy. There is NO WAY my husband would go for that, especially since I make a pretty high salary, but I also wouldn't be interested in staying home full time anyway. I think it works if the husband is on board with it. But again, there are definite financial risks (old refrain, I know, but still true).