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Expectant and Postpartum Moms
shower invitations
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Anonymous
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The person throwing my shower has asked if she can put where we are registered on the invitation.
Will some people find this inappropriate? |
Anonymous
| Yes, of course. Others will find it convenient. Personally, I'd err on the side of caution and let people take the traditional (albeit inconvenient) route of contacting the host to ask where you are registered. |
Anonymous
| Plus, do you plan to register somewhere other than usual locations? (BRY, BBB, Target?) Most people know how to find registries on line. |
Anonymous
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Yes, some people will find it inappropriate. (I do.) It's done more and more frequently these days, but traditionally, registry information is only passed via word of mouth. And when people DO decide to provide registry information with the invitation, it is considered more polite to do it on an enclosure rather than print it on the invitation itself. Personally, I think that's not much better and that it should be left off altogether. As PP stated, most people these days can do a quick search online to find your registry anyway.
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Anonymous
Good point. Mostly I don't want to create extra work for the shower host but hopefully most people will find it on their own. |
Anonymous
| Don't go all Miss Manners -- just put it on the invitation. I have no idea why people are "offended". Honestly, who cares? |
Anonymous
| OP asked whether some people will find it inappropriate and the answer is yes. Some people will. I can't help it -- I was taught that it was tacky and it's just one of those things that has stuck. Would I skip the shower because of it, or say something to the hostess, or make fun of the guest of honor, or anything else? No, absolutely not, of course not, but I can't lie and say that I don't notice when I get an invitation like that. It's just considered unnecessarily pushy -- if someone wants your registry information, they can ask for it or find it themselves. |
Anonymous
I totally agree with this. Well said. |
Anonymous
| I just went through this situation with my own shower. I was really torn about whether or not to include it on the invitation. I decided not to include it on the invitation and instead my mom made a really cute separate card to mail with the invitations saying where I was registered. Not only did she get compliments on how cute and creative the separate card was but in the long run it worked out for the best because the majority of gifts I received were gift cards for where I was registered. I think it makes it more convenient if people know where you're registered. |
Anonymous
| I would not because it makes your guests feel obligated to buy a gift, and informs them that you are expecting one. Of course most guests will bring something but no need to include that in the invitation. |
Anonymous
| Sorry, pp here, also wanted to add that sometimes, people do not want to buy anything from a registry... |
Anonymous
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I personally like it to be included because I may not have time to get in touch with the host to ask. It's ridiculous that it's considered inappropriate to put it on the invite but okay to put with the invite on a separate card. What's the difference?
Also, don't most people realize why there's a shower in the first place? It's for gifts. |
Anonymous
I have to say that a shower is a gift-giving event. I think it is totally tacky to include registry info in say, a wedding invitation--because you are inviting people to share in your ceremony and celebration, and though it's traditional to give a gift, it's not what you're inviting them for. A shower, on the other hand, is given to "shower" the honoree with gifts. So if I didn't want to give one, I'd just politely decline the invitation. FWIW, our host included the registry info in the invitation for our baby shower, and I think maybe 3 people out of 15 bought anything from the registry. It's helpful to have the info, I think, but not necessary. So if you have any doubts, just don't include it, and people who want to know will ask the host. |
Anonymous
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Strict etiquette rules say don't include it. However, what's the norm with your circle of friends? If you've generally gotten shower invitations with registry information included, I'd say that's more the norm for your social group and it'd be less likely to offend anyone.
Honestly, I think presentation is really the key. If registry information is included FRONT and CENTER, or if you open an invitation and 5 separate cards from different stores fall out, or if there is anything like "Please purchase our girfts only from the registry" printed on the invitation (really, people do do that!) I think that is way more likely to offend than a simple line saying, "For your convenience, X is registered at X." In this day and age, people know the drill - you register so you don't get duplicate gifts, so people who don't have kids don't have to wonder what the heck babies need, etc. I don't think including the information obligates anyone to buy off the registry. Honestly, I think if you include it, you probably will get sniffed at from some stricter etiquette-mavens, and if you don't include it, some people will grumble at the inconvenience of having to hunt for your registry. You can't please anyone, so go with what you think is right. 
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Anonymous
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PP here - oops, I meant you can't please "everyone".
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