Horrible experience with senior citizen with my baby

[Anonymous]

This is just a rant. Today, a good friend and I took our babies - my DD is 14 mths, her DS is 17 months, to Starbucks for a treat. We placed them in the highchairs and took them outside to enjoy our drinks. We gave them a few toys and some munchies. Neither of them were being loud or behaving poorly. The older gentleman sitting at the table next to us said very loudly " can you please tell your b*stard children to shut up'. Both my friend and I were appalled and thought there's no way he's actually talking to us! Maybe it's part of the conversation... so, about five minutes go by and he says, again, loudly, 'your kids are ready to go'. This time we know he's directing his commentary to us. We didn't actually say anything back to him, just gave him looks and continued to enjoy our drinks. My DD starts talking loudly, not crying, just jabbering happily. He says again, "your daughter is trying to tell you she's ready to go home". This time we were ready to leave and I was so appalled at his behavior but also completely unsure how to handle the situation. I was brought up to respect my elders! At any rate, I finally got up the nerve to tell the older gentleman he was setting a bad example, and I didn't appreciate his rude comments or his foul language around my child. I also told him that if he wanted to have coffee in privacy, perhaps he shouldn't sit outside at starbucks, since it is a public place. He then told me that I was setting a bad example as a mother and that he had two children of his own! What a jerk, I said, it clearly was so long ago he didn't remember how children act and that my DD was behaving perfectly fine and not out of control and that I was confident in the fact that I was the one behaving like an upstanding individual. His seat mates just sat there with their mouths open and someone at a table next to them applauded! I felt better for saying something.

By the way, it was the Starbucks in Bethesda off of Sangamore Road, near the Safeway. I think these guys go there every Wednesday ( we saw them last week too ), I'm going back to see if I can ruffle some more feathers next week

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you had such a crappy experience. Sounds like this guy was obnoxious and way out of line -- good for you for standing up for yourself!

That said, I hope you're kidding about intentionally going back when you think he'll be there in order to ruffle feathers. To me, seeking out conflict is a huge mistake. It sets a bad example for your child and creates unnecessary stress for you. Why not take the high road and go an hour later next time?

[zumbamama]

How nasty...and ironic after just reading the nasty teenagers in Bethesday thread. I guess he used to be one? Tell your kids thats what happens to people whose parents don't teach them any manners. Good for you to speak up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP here - yes I am kidding. However, I frequently find myself at that starbucks. I'm am not going to let him scare me away from that location. If he continues to be rude, I'll let the manager know and let them deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - yes I am kidding. However, I frequently find myself at that starbucks. I'm am not going to let him scare me away from that location. If he continues to be rude, I'll let the manager know and let them deal with it.

Good for you!!

[Anonymous]

I'm impressed by your response! I think you handled the situation well. I'm sure I would have been completely tongue-tied. There is clearly something wrong with this person.

[Anonymous]

This past Christmas Eve I was crossing the street (puching my baby in her stroller) at the intersection of Bradley and Leland in Bethesda. I had the green light and right of way and some old man stopped at the red light rolled down the window and screamed for us to "get the f*ck out of the road." I think some people are just plain crazy!

[Anonymous]

I think you should have titled this post, "Nasty Bethesda seniors."

Seriously, sorry you had to deal with this, sounded like you managed it quite well. My initial thought was that the man may have been borderline mentally ill. I know when my grandfather's dementia was in its early phase (although we did not know it at the time), he acted out inappropriately at times. I still think you did the right thing, so not a knock on you at all.

[Anonymous]

I go to that Starbucks, too, with my 4 and 7 year olds. I have never seen the group you are talking about but will be on the watch. My kids are particularly well-behaved (people say so ALL the time) so if he said anything to me I would know he was crazy. I am impressed with the calmness and collectedness of your repsonse. I might repeat it verbatim one day! 8). I agree with the poster who said he may be in the early stages of dementia. That is exactly what this behavior sounds like. You said he was with friends. Why didn't they do anything???

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, as I know I would've been perplexed/angry too...

But I agree with some others that that sounds very similar to conduct you'd see in the early stages of dementia... so try to cut him some slack (or at least consider the possibility).

Even if your dd was being perfectly well behaved, it may be that she was "annoying" him in some way. For a normal person, they may think nasty thoughts, but they have the presence of mind to not say what they're thinking.

In a person with dementia, the "filter" is often one of the first things to go... My grandmother had it, and this formerly wonderful, warm, woman started saying the most outlandish and inappropriate things. Its not her, its the dementia.

Maybe next week he'll have a better day...

[Anonymous]

I can completely understand your anger.

My almost 3yo twins and I were at McD's one day for a quick lunch. Kids are eating but being kids.

This old lady decided to sit in the booth behind us. I had intentionally seated us next to the ketchup in case they wanted more. One of my twins as expected wanted more ketchup. As I was getting up, she says to me, "Can you be quiet"? I looked at her said,"Excuse me"? Again, "Can you be quiet"? "You are too loud". My comment was, " I didn't realize McD's had become a five star restaurant."

I was ticked off. I let the twins be as loud as they wanted. I can't really control how loud they are. Honestly, they were not THAT loud or louder than any of the other kids in the plaxe.

Do these people not remember what it was like to have kids?

[Anonymous]

My almost 3yo twins and I were at McD's one day for a quick lunch. Kids are eating but being kids.

The OP's story was bad enough, but for someone to go to MCDONALDS and complain about kids? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

we are total regulars at that sbux too - my 2 year old & 4 year old love it there - everyone has always been very nice. the manager there is alexis and she is a total child lover and would know any of the regulars - so if you asked her she'd know the scoop if this was someone who was just in a bad mood, or regularly like that - there are a number of 'senior' groups who do meet there - one group is very large and takes over almost the whole restaurant, but i'm not sure what day that is.

[Anonymous]

"My dear sir, I do believe you may need to have your hearing aid turned down, or perhaps your medication adjusted?" said with a big warm smile and twinkly eyes, with a wink at his tablemates.

[Anonymous]

Hi - this is OP again, I appreciate all of your responses. I too had a grandparent with dementia, however, it did not occur to me that could be why he behaved in such a manner. I will consider that the next time I am appalled at someone's behavior. I do try and consider their own limitations before I take offense. The gentleman's friends did not say anything, however, they were all seemed pretty surprised that I spoke up. If I had an older friend that had dementia, I think I would have come forward and at least explained as sort of an apology, who knows in this case though?!