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Have you ever been stalked?
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Anonymous
| What means did you use to protect yourself? How did it end? |
Anonymous
| In college by a guy from my French class. I spoke to him a couple of times before class and he took it to mean I was interested in him or something, so he started showing up at places where I was, he wouldn't talk to me, just stand there and stare. After he showed up at my apartment and waited for me to come out while I hid inside (must have followed me there before) I really freaked out and called in a good friend who was very tall and threatening looking, and he started escorting me everywhere. The stalker was on the small side so I think my friend's size put a stop to it. He never bothered me again and even dropped from French class. |
Anonymous
| I was stalked when I was 12. Unfortunately, I didn't really clue in to the situation until he broke into our house and attacked me. He ended up in jail. I now keep an eye on his record and when he is in or out of jail. I know, my behavior is a little stalker-ish. |
Anonymous
| I had a friend who was. She ended it by ending ALL communications, changing her email and phone numbers, calling the cops every time she saw the guy near her home or whereever she was, and worked on getting a restraining order. The stalker gave up. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it was back a long time ago in college. No caller id or anything easy to trace at that time. I was getting a phone call every morning at the same time from a sexual stalker. It know what psychological terror feels like. It is the worst and there was nothing I could do to stop it until I moved home at the end of the semester. I had no idea who it was...until it dawned on me one day at least 15 years later. He was married with a kid and lived in the same apartment complex. Yuk! |
Anonymous
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Got a restraining order - it's helpful so that he can not be within 100 yards of me. If he breaks it, he goes to jail.
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Anonymous
| Sort of. College boyfriend had regrets after breaking up w/ me; contacted me 10 years later. He tracked me down, called my college, sent me letters, phone calls. Got a PO box, changed my phone to unlisted, gave money to all my alumni associations along with the PO box, fake phone # and instructions not to give out my personal info. It ended with him hiring a private detective and contacting me; I called him and we talked, he agreed to move on. My advice: figure out what will make him stop (jail, acknowledgment) and do that. |
Anonymous
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A few years after college - ex boyfriend.
He entered the gated community I lived in each night an left a flower on my car. Charming - but not interested. He continued by breaking the glass to the entry way, and opening the common door and banging on my door. When I did not answer, he exited my buildin and climbed up on my balcony and attempted to get in the apt through that door. I had a friend who was a lawyer call him and explain that I will have a restraining order issued and what the repurcussions were for him. After that conversation he stopped. |
Anonymous
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I highly recommend the book "The Gift of Fear". It has a section on stalking - pretty scary stuff.
http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440226198 |
Anonymous
I was just going to recommend this, and wouldn't normally pull a "this", but please, please, if you are being stalked or know someone who is, read this or get them to read it. |
Anonymous
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stalker murdered my fiance in 1996 so it can end very badly. to the bitch ho on the gen parenting board, that's why I delayed having kids. I had to start over b/c of a crazy man!
he killed himself right after the murder. was on a bunch of pills for mental illness too. I am now living as close to "happily ever after" as is possible in the real-world I think. If you are stalked, take it seriously and yes, GIFT OF FEAR is a great, great book. I read it after, of course but am glad I did. |
Anonymous
| Yes, in college. I know exactly how the phone call person above felt. Went to campus police with another girl in my dorm who I found went through the same thing with him. They took it seriously and he went to jail b/c he attacked another one of his victims. Could have been me and I'm grateful that we went forward instead of taking it lightly. |
Anonymous
This is the 6:34 poster. The book does not address unknown stalkers very well. His advice would have been quite useless in my situation. |
Anonymous
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OP,
Do you have children? That seems critical in this. Either way, if you feel threatened, I'd get a TRO. |
Anonymous
| P.S. 12:47 I was, I got a TRO, I prefer not to disclose further specifics. Things eventually calmed down. |