Flying @ 32 Weeks-- How (Un)Comfortable Is It?

[Anonymous]

I need advice from all of you moms out there! My husband's sister is getting married later this summer. I will be 32 weeks pregnant. The trip to the wedding involves a 5 1/2 hour plane ride. I asked my MD today if that was okay, and her response was, "Well, its borderline, but ultimately it is really up to your comfort level." She also told me that if I went I would have to drink a lot on the plane to stay hydrated and get up and walk around to prevent blood clots.

Honestly, I was hoping she would give me a definite NO. My MIL and SIL are putting tremendous pressure on me to attend this wedding and I feel a lot of anxiety about being that far away from my MD that late in my pregnancy. (And I can't stand my bridezilla SIL, but that's another story-- and I am really trying to keep my feelings about her out of the decision! )

So, here's my question-- what is it like to fly at 32 weeks? Am I going to have to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes? I am picturing the nightmare of drink carts in the aisle, long bathroom lines, etc. Also, how much can I really walk in a crowded airplane with one aisle? Is this even do-able for 5 1/2 hours? I tried asking my MD, but I think b/c my husband was there today she was really trying to stay out of the potential family issues. If I don't go, it is going to cause a huge fight and drama-queen SIL will erupt like Mt. St. Helens.... Any advice? Is flying at 32 weeks really that bad? I've never had a baby before, so I have no concept of how big and uncomfortable I will be at that point. THANKS!

[Anonymous]

I flew at 33 weeks, but it was only a 2 1/2 hour flight. It was completely fine. We flew Southwest which has open seating and since I was pregnant we were allowed to pre-board with those that are disabled and with young children. Then we were able to choose seats right up front with extra leg room. That was great.

So...I would try to call the airline if you don't have open seating and get assigned an aisle seat or in the first row that usually has extra room. I think the only major discomfort would be if your legs/feet are swelling because they'll swell more in a plane. Luckily, my feet didn't start to swell until 36/37 weeks.

I realize that this isn't much help. Everyone is different so it's hard to know how the experience would be for you.

[Anonymous]

If you were hoping that your MD would say no and you won't be comfortable with it, don't go! Tell MIL and SIL that your MD advised against it -- not a lie, because she said it was up to your comfort level and your comfort level seems to lean heavily toward staying home.

[Anonymous]

I flew to a wedding at 32 weeks in July last year. My flight was 1 1/2 hours long and if it had been longer I would have wanted to cry. I was uncomfortable. I carried my baby really high and he liked to really punch my ribs and crowd my diaphragm at that point in my pregnancy. The airplane seats make you sit very upright which was not so fun. I was traveling to a wedding of a family member that I like and everyone around me was looking out for my best interest. I would have also been miserable if I was going on a trip that I didn't want to be on in the first place. I say be selfish and dont' go. IF something happened to you while you were away from your doc - you would never forgive yourself and it certainly wouldn't help the tension you already have with your SIL and MIL. But at the same time that is a hard decision. What does your husband think? I think really at the end of the day you should talk with him and make a decision together. He must stand by your decision and support you in front of his mother and sister. Just a thought-

[Anonymous]

Since everyone's pregnancy is different - I think it is hard to say how you will feel. My only issue was leg swelling - but I had varicose veins to begin with. Otherwise, I was not one pf those pregnant woman who had to pee a lot and I had only gained a little under 20 pounds at that point - so I was comfortable.
Sounds like you are looking for an excuse not to go. If you really don't want to go -just tell them your doctor said you can't fly. Make something up about your blood pressure or spotting or something.
It's your decision. Lots of woman fly at that stage - if you are looking for a way out - just make the decision yourself.

[Anonymous]

I flew to Budapest at 30 weeks, and wans't terribly uncomfortable. Just remember you'll need a doctor's note to travel. Most airlines won't let you board without one.

[Anonymous]

Don't go. Don't let anyone pressure you!
Just tell them your doctor said no!
It's your choice, your pregnancy. If anything happens and you're that far away from home/your doctor, you'll feel bad.

[Anonymous]

I flew to Paris at 30 weeks and I thought that seat for 8 hours was REALLY uncomfortable. As another poster said, it's really straight up and has no lumbar support. That coupled with the person in front of me reclining the whole time, I thought I was going to lose it. Ultimately I was fine when we got off the plane, but it wasn't the most pleasant experience. You've got a darned good excuse to not go to this wedding, tell your SIL to buzz off. I can't imagine ever getting upset over such a thing - amazing how selfish people can be.

[Anonymous]

OP here--- thanks for all the comments. Husband and MIL were on the phone last night arguing about it, and husband finally told MIL that the fact that she and SIL were pushing so hard for this without seeming to have any concern for my health or the health of our baby was the final straw. He basically made the decision for me that I'm not going and then went off on the fact that SIL is being a total bridezilla and MIL wasn't helping. So, I guess the decision is made. I can't help but feel badly though that I am the subject of all this drama. The logical part of me knows that this is his sister's issue and not mine, but there is another part of me that feels incredibly guilty that everyone is getting so upset over what should be a happy time. And I know I have to live with these people for the rest of my life and I am worried they will carry a grudge. The irony to all this is that when my husband first did tell SIL that I was pregnant, she got mad at him and didn't talk to him for 6 weeks because she said we were upstaging her wedding. Now, I'm not coming to the wedding (which you would think would make her happy) and she's acting like I'm doing something terribly offensive. I can't win. How to deal with a crazy SIL... ahhh.... (I know, this is starting to sound like a letter to Carolyn Hax! )

Thanks for the advice!!!

[Anonymous]

I guess this thread just shows how individual we all are. I flew out west (5 hours I think?) when I was 36 weeks, and it was no worse than usual. Well, my feet swelled. But the flight attendants were super nice. And I was amused rather than annoyed to find that I couldn't put the tray table down.

Oh, and though I had a doctor's note with me, no one ever asked to see it. So I don't know what airline the PP who said they won't let you board without it was flying. But it doesn't cost anything to pick up the note, and if it could save some hassle, do it.

I agree with everyone else: if you really think you wouldn't enjoy the wedding, use your pregnancy as a legit reason to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Im really sorry that happened to you. The fact that your SIL got mad when your pregnancy was announced shows a lot about her character, and I would say your relationship with her and with MIL who seems to side with her is always going to be strained, no matter what you do. Even if you had gone to the wedding , they may have come up with another reason that would make you feel bad. Hang in there, I am sorry they are so selfish but kudos for your husband for sticking up for you.

[Anonymous]

Totally do NOT feel bad for not going. If you want to make a gesture, send a nice personal note to the bride saying how you and DS/DD will be thinking of her, and send her something useful for her wedding day (hankerchief, whatever.)

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you've made up your mind, but I'll just throw one more thought out there: if this is your first child, traveling will NEVER again be as easy as it is now. Sure, you're pregnant and have the occasional backache and have to pee a lot, but you are NOT lugging a diaper bag and stroller and trying to control a crawler and worrying about naptimes and clean water to mix formula and public meltdowns you can't do anything about and breastfeeding in public, on ad infinitum. If the wedding is taking place in a location you WANT to visit, this would be a fantastic time to take that babymoon.

[Anonymous]

The irony to all this is that when my husband first did tell SIL that I was pregnant, she got mad at him and didn't talk to him for 6 weeks because she said we were upstaging her wedding.

Your SIL is crazy! I'm glad that your husband sticks up for you -- good for him.

One of my bridesmaids got pregnant soon after I got engaged (but after I had asked her to be a bridesmaid) and she wasn't able to travel to our wedding, either (much less be in it). I didn't mind at all -- how can you begrudge someone a BABY?

[Anonymous]

Okay I am going to get flamed for this but you sound like you are using your pregnancy as an excuse to not go to the wedding since you don't like SIL. Sorry but that is mean and pretty imature. I flew at 33 weeks to Phoenix and it was no drama at all-none but I wasn't looking for an excuse not to go somewhere. While it's nice that your hubby is sticking up for you, I think your not going will create a wedge in his family and that is sad as all too often I see guys who start to distance from their family over "wife" issues. I also hear alot of complaining about weddings on this site and think it's interesting that the same people who think people get nutty over weddings feel carte blanche to make their pregnancy the end all be all. Now if you had a medical condition, I would be the first to say bad it but this just seems like a classic case of getting one up on the sister.