If you lie about your hometown, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like OP's mission is to get people to admit that they're from Bumf*ck, KY, because she wants to feel superior. She thinks she is cool because she grew up in an OMG urban area. It's gatekeeping.

Why doesn't someone just say they're from an OMG rural area if that's the truth? Why not be upfront? So strange

Because many of y'all are classist, judgmental, and think that those of us from rural areas are somehow "lesser". I grew up in a rural, southern, poor area and went I went to an Ivy League college. Ignorant, ugly, hurtful, mocking comments were made with a fairly large degree of frequency among my classmates about people with backgrounds similar to mine. Things like having a southern accent, working class habits, etc. were seen as undesirable and unprofessional attributes that should be covered up if you wanted to succeed somewhere like the finance industry in NYC. When you come from the "wrong" background you are encouraged to hide it so you can succeed and it's not a leap to realize that disclosing one's hometown is another element of this.

Don't play dumb. You have to be living under a rock to not know about the stereotypes that are given to rural and/or southern people. And kid who grew up in a distinct culture & had to learn to navigate class enviros at school/work knows what’s up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like OP's mission is to get people to admit that they're from Bumf*ck, KY, because she wants to feel superior. She thinks she is cool because she grew up in an OMG urban area. It's gatekeeping.

Why doesn't someone just say they're from an OMG rural area if that's the truth? Why not be upfront? So strange

Because many of y'all are classist, judgmental, and think that those of us from rural areas are somehow "lesser". I grew up in a rural, southern, poor area and went I went to an Ivy League college. Ignorant, ugly, hurtful, mocking comments were made with a fairly large degree of frequency among my classmates about people with backgrounds similar to mine. Things like having a southern accent, working class habits, etc. were seen as undesirable and unprofessional attributes that should be covered up if you wanted to succeed somewhere like the finance industry in NYC. When you come from the "wrong" background you are encouraged to hide it so you can succeed and it's not a leap to realize that disclosing one's hometown is another element of this.

Don't play dumb. You have to be living under a rock to not know about the stereotypes that are given to rural and/or southern people. And kid who grew up in a distinct culture & had to learn to navigate class enviros at school/work knows what’s up.

Okay. But now that you've moved out of that, and presumably have done a lot to move away from that, why not just say the name of your hometown so people can change their attitudes? Why not be real? Unless you think there's an element of your hometown in you that is indelible, never going to go away, then why hide it, if you have no real connection with the place? Seems like you hiding that aspect of yourself is just allowing people to continue to have their same old attitudes and look down upon those places

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like OP's mission is to get people to admit that they're from Bumf*ck, KY, because she wants to feel superior. She thinks she is cool because she grew up in an OMG urban area. It's gatekeeping.

Why doesn't someone just say they're from an OMG rural area if that's the truth? Why not be upfront? So strange

Because many of y'all are classist, judgmental, and think that those of us from rural areas are somehow "lesser". I grew up in a rural, southern, poor area and went I went to an Ivy League college. Ignorant, ugly, hurtful, mocking comments were made with a fairly large degree of frequency among my classmates about people with backgrounds similar to mine. Things like having a southern accent, working class habits, etc. were seen as undesirable and unprofessional attributes that should be covered up if you wanted to succeed somewhere like the finance industry in NYC. When you come from the "wrong" background you are encouraged to hide it so you can succeed and it's not a leap to realize that disclosing one's hometown is another element of this.

Don't play dumb. You have to be living under a rock to not know about the stereotypes that are given to rural and/or southern people. And kid who grew up in a distinct culture & had to learn to navigate class enviros at school/work knows what’s up.

Laughs in New Jersian

If southerners hate stereotypes so much why do they make fun of where I'm from? Stop pretending that the south and rural areas are the only ones that get mocked. And stop pretending that people from the south and/or from rural areas are pure of heart and never disparage other places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:? It’s not a lie, it’s a different way of answering the question.

It is a lie, ESPECIALLY if it's asked in that same city they're currently living. The obvious implication is "where did you grow up/ where are your roots". People trying to find out the town that truly raised and shaped you.

it's disingenuous at best, and I'm curious why anyone would engage in it.

Why are you so bothered by this? When we are traveling, people make small talk and ask where you're from. The answer is "we come from DC, nice weather you have here," not "Well, my wife is a DC native but I was born and raised in small town Ohio, but I spent several years living overseas before moving to DC where we have lived for 13 years."

If you care so much, you can ask people specifically where they were born. I can't imagine being so strident about this.

Who not just say "I'm from Ohio and she's from DC"? Pretty simple, actually. But more importantly, I'm asking about people who answer that to someone WHILE they're in DC.

If you met someone in DC and they asked where you're from, what would you say?

If I knew the person I met already knew I lived in DC, I'd tell them my hometown. But I've lived here for 15+ years, and I haven't lived in my hometown for over 25 years, so unless the person is specifically asking where I was born/grew up, I'm likely to answer "DC." I'm not ashamed of it, it's just rarely relevant information anymore.

And when travelling, if someone asks where I'm from, I say "DC," unless I'm in or near my hometown, in which case I will say, "DC, but I grew up near here."

Well you can rationalize your lies however you like, but you are lying. you're not "from" DC, you're from small town Ohio. But I guess you dont want to say it.

Don't be obtuse. "From" is vague. if you want people's hometown, then ask for their hometown but don't call them liars for interpreting "from" as their current residence. Nobody owes some random busybody their life story just because you asked.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like OP's mission is to get people to admit that they're from Bumf*ck, KY, because she wants to feel superior. She thinks she is cool because she grew up in an OMG urban area. It's gatekeeping.

Why doesn't someone just say they're from an OMG rural area if that's the truth? Why not be upfront? So strange

Because many of y'all are classist, judgmental, and think that those of us from rural areas are somehow "lesser". I grew up in a rural, southern, poor area and went I went to an Ivy League college. Ignorant, ugly, hurtful, mocking comments were made with a fairly large degree of frequency among my classmates about people with backgrounds similar to mine. Things like having a southern accent, working class habits, etc. were seen as undesirable and unprofessional attributes that should be covered up if you wanted to succeed somewhere like the finance industry in NYC. When you come from the "wrong" background you are encouraged to hide it so you can succeed and it's not a leap to realize that disclosing one's hometown is another element of this.

Don't play dumb. You have to be living under a rock to not know about the stereotypes that are given to rural and/or southern people. And kid who grew up in a distinct culture & had to learn to navigate class enviros at school/work knows what’s up.

Laughs in New Jersian

If southerners hate stereotypes so much why do they make fun of where I'm from? Stop pretending that the south and rural areas are the only ones that get mocked. And stop pretending that people from the south and/or from rural areas are pure of heart and never disparage other places.

+1

I always feel judged when traveling in the south, as a young, rather hip young woman who dresses in mainly black and has kind of "current" style. I definitely feel like I get side eyes and "who is she" type energy. I have been called a yankee and had rude jokes about "I guess that's how they do it up there" and outright rude stares. It goes both ways. But I never felt the need to lie. And if someone wants to judge me from being from a big northern city? IDGAF, cause I know who I am. But I dont like to lie in general, so...

[Anonymous]

I have a cousin who wrote a book and lied about where she was born. It's in the book jacket. She talked about it to journalists and on her book tour. It's on her author's page. Why? Because she's a shallow, money-grubbing snobbish fake! She wrote a biography supposedly about this woman who was from the same city. Who knows how much of it is true?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:? It’s not a lie, it’s a different way of answering the question.

It is a lie, ESPECIALLY if it's asked in that same city they're currently living. The obvious implication is "where did you grow up/ where are your roots". People trying to find out the town that truly raised and shaped you.

it's disingenuous at best, and I'm curious why anyone would engage in it.

Why are you so bothered by this? When we are traveling, people make small talk and ask where you're from. The answer is "we come from DC, nice weather you have here," not "Well, my wife is a DC native but I was born and raised in small town Ohio, but I spent several years living overseas before moving to DC where we have lived for 13 years."

If you care so much, you can ask people specifically where they were born. I can't imagine being so strident about this.

Who not just say "I'm from Ohio and she's from DC"? Pretty simple, actually. But more importantly, I'm asking about people who answer that to someone WHILE they're in DC.

If you met someone in DC and they asked where you're from, what would you say?

If I knew the person I met already knew I lived in DC, I'd tell them my hometown. But I've lived here for 15+ years, and I haven't lived in my hometown for over 25 years, so unless the person is specifically asking where I was born/grew up, I'm likely to answer "DC." I'm not ashamed of it, it's just rarely relevant information anymore.

And when travelling, if someone asks where I'm from, I say "DC," unless I'm in or near my hometown, in which case I will say, "DC, but I grew up near here."

Well you can rationalize your lies however you like, but you are lying. you're not "from" DC, you're from small town Ohio. But I guess you dont want to say it.

Don't be obtuse. "From" is vague. if you want people's hometown, then ask for their hometown but don't call them liars for interpreting "from" as their current residence. Nobody owes some random busybody their life story just because you asked.

Agree

When visiting the MIL in Chevy Chase, one of the busy bodies in the neighborhood stopped me to ask "Where are you from?" This was the second question after ascertaining I was the son in law. It was very odd. But, I think all of Chevy Chase residents are pretty odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:? It’s not a lie, it’s a different way of answering the question.

It is a lie, ESPECIALLY if it's asked in that same city they're currently living. The obvious implication is "where did you grow up/ where are your roots". People trying to find out the town that truly raised and shaped you.

it's disingenuous at best, and I'm curious why anyone would engage in it.

Why are you so bothered by this? When we are traveling, people make small talk and ask where you're from. The answer is "we come from DC, nice weather you have here," not "Well, my wife is a DC native but I was born and raised in small town Ohio, but I spent several years living overseas before moving to DC where we have lived for 13 years."

If you care so much, you can ask people specifically where they were born. I can't imagine being so strident about this.

Who not just say "I'm from Ohio and she's from DC"? Pretty simple, actually. But more importantly, I'm asking about people who answer that to someone WHILE they're in DC.

If you met someone in DC and they asked where you're from, what would you say?

If I knew the person I met already knew I lived in DC, I'd tell them my hometown. But I've lived here for 15+ years, and I haven't lived in my hometown for over 25 years, so unless the person is specifically asking where I was born/grew up, I'm likely to answer "DC." I'm not ashamed of it, it's just rarely relevant information anymore.

And when travelling, if someone asks where I'm from, I say "DC," unless I'm in or near my hometown, in which case I will say, "DC, but I grew up near here."

Well you can rationalize your lies however you like, but you are lying. you're not "from" DC, you're from small town Ohio. But I guess you dont want to say it.

Don't be obtuse. "From" is vague. if you want people's hometown, then ask for their hometown but don't call them liars for interpreting "from" as their current residence. Nobody owes some random busybody their life story just because you asked.

Agree

When visiting the MIL in Chevy Chase, one of the busy bodies in the neighborhood stopped me to ask "Where are you from?" This was the second question after ascertaining I was the son in law. It was very odd. But, I think all of Chevy Chase residents are pretty odd.

Why in the world did this bother you? Is it because you feel where you're from is inferior to Chevy Chase?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like OP's mission is to get people to admit that they're from Bumf*ck, KY, because she wants to feel superior. She thinks she is cool because she grew up in an OMG urban area. It's gatekeeping.

Why doesn't someone just say they're from an OMG rural area if that's the truth? Why not be upfront? So strange

Because many of y'all are classist, judgmental, and think that those of us from rural areas are somehow "lesser". I grew up in a rural, southern, poor area and went I went to an Ivy League college. Ignorant, ugly, hurtful, mocking comments were made with a fairly large degree of frequency among my classmates about people with backgrounds similar to mine. Things like having a southern accent, working class habits, etc. were seen as undesirable and unprofessional attributes that should be covered up if you wanted to succeed somewhere like the finance industry in NYC. When you come from the "wrong" background you are encouraged to hide it so you can succeed and it's not a leap to realize that disclosing one's hometown is another element of this.

Don't play dumb. You have to be living under a rock to not know about the stereotypes that are given to rural and/or southern people. And kid who grew up in a distinct culture & had to learn to navigate class enviros at school/work knows what’s up.

Laughs in New Jersian

If southerners hate stereotypes so much why do they make fun of where I'm from? Stop pretending that the south and rural areas are the only ones that get mocked. And stop pretending that people from the south and/or from rural areas are pure of heart and never disparage other places.

+1

I always feel judged when traveling in the south, as a young, rather hip young woman who dresses in mainly black and has kind of "current" style. I definitely feel like I get side eyes and "who is she" type energy. I have been called a yankee and had rude jokes about "I guess that's how they do it up there" and outright rude stares. It goes both ways. But I never felt the need to lie. And if someone wants to judge me from being from a big northern city? IDGAF, cause I know who I am. But I dont like to lie in general, so...

PP: yup, it absolutely goes both ways and I'm getting tired of one side being rude and nasty while pretending they're the victims. If you want to be a jerk at least do it right, and don't whine when you run into another jerk.

When I'm asked where I'm from I always say NJ, and the moment they get nasty I ask if they have running water where they grew up (and then I get told how meeeeeaaaan I am). Funny, one of my best friends is from TN and we kind of bonded over how people are so weirdly shitty to both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is for people who, when asked where they're from, will say the current city they live in, rather than where they grew up.

Aka someone who grew up in Utah, but is living in NYC, and when they meet someone new and asked, the say "New York".

Why do you do it? Is it shame about your hometown? Wishing you could have grown up in someplace more sophisticated?

I can't imagine what this looks like when some native New Yorker says something like, "cool. I grew up on the Upper West Side, how about you?"

Mega embarrassing for Provo.

I'm from NY and this happened to me. I asked someone at work where they were from and they said "New York." Except I wasn't quite as subtle as your post. I immediately answered "No you're not." (There's that New York directness.) They were a bit shocked that I knew immediately (from their accent), stammered something about saying how much they loved living in Manhattan for two years of grad school and dodged me. It was very awkward and I wish I hadn't outed them but it was weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like OP's mission is to get people to admit that they're from Bumf*ck, KY, because she wants to feel superior. She thinks she is cool because she grew up in an OMG urban area. It's gatekeeping.

Why doesn't someone just say they're from an OMG rural area if that's the truth? Why not be upfront? So strange

Because many of y'all are classist, judgmental, and think that those of us from rural areas are somehow "lesser". I grew up in a rural, southern, poor area and went I went to an Ivy League college. Ignorant, ugly, hurtful, mocking comments were made with a fairly large degree of frequency among my classmates about people with backgrounds similar to mine. Things like having a southern accent, working class habits, etc. were seen as undesirable and unprofessional attributes that should be covered up if you wanted to succeed somewhere like the finance industry in NYC. When you come from the "wrong" background you are encouraged to hide it so you can succeed and it's not a leap to realize that disclosing one's hometown is another element of this.

Don't play dumb. You have to be living under a rock to not know about the stereotypes that are given to rural and/or southern people. And kid who grew up in a distinct culture & had to learn to navigate class enviros at school/work knows what’s up.

Laughs in New Jersian

If southerners hate stereotypes so much why do they make fun of where I'm from? Stop pretending that the south and rural areas are the only ones that get mocked. And stop pretending that people from the south and/or from rural areas are pure of heart and never disparage other places.

+1

I always feel judged when traveling in the south, as a young, rather hip young woman who dresses in mainly black and has kind of "current" style. I definitely feel like I get side eyes and "who is she" type energy. I have been called a yankee and had rude jokes about "I guess that's how they do it up there" and outright rude stares. It goes both ways. But I never felt the need to lie. And if someone wants to judge me from being from a big northern city? IDGAF, cause I know who I am. But I dont like to lie in general, so...

PP: yup, it absolutely goes both ways and I'm getting tired of one side being rude and nasty while pretending they're the victims. If you want to be a jerk at least do it right, and don't whine when you run into another jerk.

When I'm asked where I'm from I always say NJ, and the moment they get nasty I ask if they have running water where they grew up (and then I get told how meeeeeaaaan I am). Funny, one of my best friends is from TN and we kind of bonded over how people are so weirdly shitty to both of us.

That's hilarious. I am not from New Jersey but have lived all over and people have even made disparaging remarks to New Jersey about me. As a fellow east coaster (I think we tend to kind of feel loyalty and stick up for each other) I'm always like, "Huh? Have you ever been New Jersey?" Usually they havent and admit they've based it off of Jersey Shore. Seriously. I love watching their faces while I inform them that New Jersey was the wealthiest state in the USA for several years running and is called the "garden state" because of how lush, green, and beautifully landscaped it is. And the smugness slowly vanishes. It's very bizarre. People are so arrogant about New Jersey when there are plenty of places that have very serious problems that New Jersey could never dream of having

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like OP's mission is to get people to admit that they're from Bumf*ck, KY, because she wants to feel superior. She thinks she is cool because she grew up in an OMG urban area. It's gatekeeping.

Why doesn't someone just say they're from an OMG rural area if that's the truth? Why not be upfront? So strange

Because many of y'all are classist, judgmental, and think that those of us from rural areas are somehow "lesser". I grew up in a rural, southern, poor area and went I went to an Ivy League college. Ignorant, ugly, hurtful, mocking comments were made with a fairly large degree of frequency among my classmates about people with backgrounds similar to mine. Things like having a southern accent, working class habits, etc. were seen as undesirable and unprofessional attributes that should be covered up if you wanted to succeed somewhere like the finance industry in NYC. When you come from the "wrong" background you are encouraged to hide it so you can succeed and it's not a leap to realize that disclosing one's hometown is another element of this.

Don't play dumb. You have to be living under a rock to not know about the stereotypes that are given to rural and/or southern people. And kid who grew up in a distinct culture & had to learn to navigate class enviros at school/work knows what’s up.

Laughs in New Jersian

If southerners hate stereotypes so much why do they make fun of where I'm from? Stop pretending that the south and rural areas are the only ones that get mocked. And stop pretending that people from the south and/or from rural areas are pure of heart and never disparage other places.

+1

I always feel judged when traveling in the south, as a young, rather hip young woman who dresses in mainly black and has kind of "current" style. I definitely feel like I get side eyes and "who is she" type energy. I have been called a yankee and had rude jokes about "I guess that's how they do it up there" and outright rude stares. It goes both ways. But I never felt the need to lie. And if someone wants to judge me from being from a big northern city? IDGAF, cause I know who I am. But I dont like to lie in general, so...

PP: yup, it absolutely goes both ways and I'm getting tired of one side being rude and nasty while pretending they're the victims. If you want to be a jerk at least do it right, and don't whine when you run into another jerk.

When I'm asked where I'm from I always say NJ, and the moment they get nasty I ask if they have running water where they grew up (and then I get told how meeeeeaaaan I am). Funny, one of my best friends is from TN and we kind of bonded over how people are so weirdly shitty to both of us.

That's hilarious. I am not from New Jersey but have lived all over and people have even made disparaging remarks to New Jersey about me. As a fellow east coaster (I think we tend to kind of feel loyalty and stick up for each other) I'm always like, "Huh? Have you ever been New Jersey?" Usually they havent and admit they've based it off of Jersey Shore. Seriously. I love watching their faces while I inform them that New Jersey was the wealthiest state in the USA for several years running and is called the "garden state" because of how lush, green, and beautifully landscaped it is. And the smugness slowly vanishes. It's very bizarre. People are so arrogant about New Jersey when there are plenty of places that have very serious problems that New Jersey could never dream of having

Right! I even defend Staten Island when an "outsider" thinks they can make fun of it. I'm always tempted to tell the Jersey mockers that they couldn't afford to live in my hometown, but it's more fun to just take a cheap shot and move on. I'm too busy being from a place with money, education, and well, I guess we have a sense of humor too.

Yeah, Newark is ugly. So is the turnpike. But I'd pick Hoboken over Kansas City in a second.

[Anonymous]

^Yes, pretty much. A person will be from a meth capital and think they can lord it over people from new jersey, sometimes new york and pennsylvania, even DC. When I said "i lived all over" I meant as an adult, but I grew up on the east coast, and I noticed east coast people are always direct about it, and will tell you the exact place they're from. It's always someone with a thick southern accent who says "y'all", or who just radiates that "small town" energy, who try to convince you they are a native Manhattanite. I mean, come on! It's just farcical. Stop lying!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^Yes, pretty much. A person will be from a meth capital and think they can lord it over people from new jersey, sometimes new york and pennsylvania, even DC. When I said "i lived all over" I meant as an adult, but I grew up on the east coast, and I noticed east coast people are always direct about it, and will tell you the exact place they're from. It's always someone with a thick southern accent who says "y'all", or who just radiates that "small town" energy, who try to convince you they are a native Manhattanite. I mean, come on! It's just farcical. Stop lying!

Jersey PP: I kind of disagree. If I ask someone where they're from and they say "Chelsea" I know that's where they live and if I'm dying to know more I'll ask where they grew up. I never had anyone dodge that question, and 99% of the time I can say something nice about where they're from (I travel a lot for work). I found Texans are great with this, they tell me where they currently live and follow it up with where they grew up. And they don't insult NJ because they think they should

Also, I suppose I have small town energy because I'm from a small town in Bergen County.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^Yes, pretty much. A person will be from a meth capital and think they can lord it over people from new jersey, sometimes new york and pennsylvania, even DC. When I said "i lived all over" I meant as an adult, but I grew up on the east coast, and I noticed east coast people are always direct about it, and will tell you the exact place they're from. It's always someone with a thick southern accent who says "y'all", or who just radiates that "small town" energy, who try to convince you they are a native Manhattanite. I mean, come on! It's just farcical. Stop lying!

Jersey PP: I kind of disagree. If I ask someone where they're from and they say "Chelsea" I know that's where they live and if I'm dying to know more I'll ask where they grew up. I never had anyone dodge that question, and 99% of the time I can say something nice about where they're from (I travel a lot for work). I found Texans are great with this, they tell me where they currently live and follow it up with where they grew up. And they don't insult NJ because they think they should

Also, I suppose I have small town energy because I'm from a small town in Bergen County.

Texas has very honest energy too. They are exceedingly upfront, which is why they are kind southern but kind of not. They kind of have east coast energy, supplanted to texas