Sporty families bragging about offers and committing to awful colleges in the middle of nowhere?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am confused: Are we supposed to hate these parents and their kids when they get into a good college or are we supposed to hate them when they get into a "shitty" college?

I am just trying to learn from other posters when to hate other families since it does not come to me naturally. This thread has me confused about that. Thanks in advance!

You brought hate into it. Pretty telling.

No I didn't, I read many posts that sounded hateful to me, including the OP. I don't get hate so I need this all explained to me so I can do it properly like the others in this thread.

Try to relax. It’ll be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids who play sports develop a lot of skills and character traits that translate well to business and to life in general. I would not write these kids off too quickly.

Why would you write them off at all?

Because kids who go to these schools become lost souls for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2 very athletic children, 1 not so sporty, and the 1 athletes eventually went D1, could have easily done D3.

By proximity we have a very large amount of friends who are in the same situation.

One thing I learned going through the process is that parents with non-sporty kids can not contain their jealousy.

Each of us tries our hardest to only talk to each other about the commitment process and playing in college. Our true friends are happy for us and a few just very nice wonderful people, but generally there is a ton of vitriol around athletic recruits.

I advise parents of up and coming athletes to only talk to parents in a similar situation and every time they branch out, they feel the hate.

This.

Some athletes aren't great at academics, but many are outstanding. Not too long ago, I met a kid at an Ivy graduation who got some academic prizes. He was also in talks with several pro franchises in a sport that I know something about, so we chatted about that. He's now a professional athlete and an Ivy grad. Some people are good at lots of things. It's like great actors who can also sing, dance and do standup.

Kids who are good at sports also frequently hear how "naturally talented" they are -- everything is due to talent, nothing is due to hard work. My kid heard all the time how lucky he was to be genetically gifted from people who didn't know him back before he did a bunch of work and became so naturally talented and genetically gifted. They also didn't see him chocking down food that he didn't want because coaches told him to gain weight -- they just said he was genetically gifted to be strong/fast/big etc.

yeah all that food eating was the hardest.

[Anonymous]

Student athletes bring a lot to the table in addition to academics, to say nothing of the fact that everything they achieve academically is done while they are spending hours every day in a non-academic pursuit. They tend to be highly efficient and organized and get a lot done in the time they have available. Colleges recognize these abilities and want these students at their institutions.

It’s possible that people who are not athletic and don’t have the experience of being intensely involved in an athletic activity find it difficult to understand why colleges value athletes and thus are perturbed by seeing those kids get spots they think the kids don’t “deserve.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2 very athletic children, 1 not so sporty, and the 1 athletes eventually went D1, could have easily done D3.

By proximity we have a very large amount of friends who are in the same situation.

One thing I learned going through the process is that parents with non-sporty kids can not contain their jealousy.

Each of us tries our hardest to only talk to each other about the commitment process and playing in college. Our true friends are happy for us and a few just very nice wonderful people, but generally there is a ton of vitriol around athletic recruits.

I advise parents of up and coming athletes to only talk to parents in a similar situation and every time they branch out, they feel the hate.

This.

Some athletes aren't great at academics, but many are outstanding. Not too long ago, I met a kid at an Ivy graduation who got some academic prizes. He was also in talks with several pro franchises in a sport that I know something about, so we chatted about that. He's now a professional athlete and an Ivy grad. Some people are good at lots of things. It's like great actors who can also sing, dance and do standup.

Kids who are good at sports also frequently hear how "naturally talented" they are -- everything is due to talent, nothing is due to hard work. My kid heard all the time how lucky he was to be genetically gifted from people who didn't know him back before he did a bunch of work and became so naturally talented and genetically gifted. They also didn't see him chocking down food that he didn't want because coaches told him to gain weight -- they just said he was genetically gifted to be strong/fast/big etc.

It's both. Come on. Being at the top of your class for academics or sports is always going to come down to a mix of grit/hard work + natural gifts or genetics. ALWAYS.
My DH was a D1 football player, but he's also 6'3 and has the ability to work out and get his weight up to 250 and there are so many people who just cannot due to size. He worked his butt off and has incredibly strong work ethic too.
I walked in and got a high SAT with no prep, coming from a mediocre HS. I was a lazy student and still managed to get decent grades and take the SAT again and improve my score. I had a 4.0 from a very easy HS. I never studied once on the weekends. Granted this was 20 years ago, and I know it's a lot more competitive now and I would have likely had a lot more trouble at competitive schools, BUT my point is that it wasn't hard for me to get into good schools because I was a gifted test taker.

[Anonymous]

Cool story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cool story

Well .. it debuffs your point that everyone who got in UVA busted their a** and is somehow more deserving of a spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am confused: Are we supposed to hate these parents and their kids when they get into a good college or are we supposed to hate them when they get into a "shitty" college?

I am just trying to learn from other posters when to hate other families since it does not come to me naturally. This thread has me confused about that. Thanks in advance!

1. If a parents mentions that a coach from an Ivy or top university is recruiting a child you are supposed to seethe with jealousy and obsess about the unfairness of it all.

2. If it does not work out and they do not get a D1 offer form a top university ... you are supposed to thank the gods and reveal in their failure.

3. If they go to a D1 university that is "shit" like University of Alabama, you are supposed to assume the child it an idiot and that his life will be a failure because it is a terrible university... unless he is playing football them you might need to slit your wrists. But you will hope they get CTE and die an early death.

4. If they go D3 to Tufts or Babson, you will have a small pain in the side... you will hope they can't major in a "real" degree like engineering and pray at night that they don't get a better job than your child. But it's Tuft/Babson, you know your prayers won't be answered, you cry yourself to sleep.

5. If they go D3 to Dickerson or Washington and Lee, you are conflicted, it's not terrible it's not elite but you wish bad this for the child, you lay awake at night not sure if it is a "shitty" university or not.... you lose lots of sleep.

6. If hey go D3 to Salisbury or Christopher Newport you post on DCUM about how their family wasted their whole lives paying for sports and now they go to a truly shitty university with no hope of having a fulfilling life... you are happy... you sleep well at night, until you wake up to the responses to your shitty DCUM post... you don't feel validated, you take Nyquil to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am confused: Are we supposed to hate these parents and their kids when they get into a good college or are we supposed to hate them when they get into a "shitty" college?

I am just trying to learn from other posters when to hate other families since it does not come to me naturally. This thread has me confused about that. Thanks in advance!

1. If a parents mentions that a coach from an Ivy or top university is recruiting a child you are supposed to seethe with jealousy and obsess about the unfairness of it all.

2. If it does not work out and they do not get a D1 offer form a top university ... you are supposed to thank the gods and reveal in their failure.

3. If they go to a D1 university that is "shit" like University of Alabama, you are supposed to assume the child it an idiot and that his life will be a failure because it is a terrible university... unless he is playing football them you might need to slit your wrists. But you will hope they get CTE and die an early death.

4. If they go D3 to Tufts or Babson, you will have a small pain in the side... you will hope they can't major in a "real" degree like engineering and pray at night that they don't get a better job than your child. But it's Tuft/Babson, you know your prayers won't be answered, you cry yourself to sleep.

5. If they go D3 to Dickerson or Washington and Lee, you are conflicted, it's not terrible it's not elite but you wish bad this for the child, you lay awake at night not sure if it is a "shitty" university or not.... you lose lots of sleep.

6. If hey go D3 to Salisbury or Christopher Newport you post on DCUM about how their family wasted their whole lives paying for sports and now they go to a truly shitty university with no hope of having a fulfilling life... you are happy... you sleep well at night, until you wake up to the responses to your shitty DCUM post... you don't feel validated, you take Nyquil to sleep.

Okay, that was funny. Enjoyed it. But W&L is #10 so definitely elite. And Dickerson was a running back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am confused: Are we supposed to hate these parents and their kids when they get into a good college or are we supposed to hate them when they get into a "shitty" college?

I am just trying to learn from other posters when to hate other families since it does not come to me naturally. This thread has me confused about that. Thanks in advance!

1. If a parents mentions that a coach from an Ivy or top university is recruiting a child you are supposed to seethe with jealousy and obsess about the unfairness of it all.

2. If it does not work out and they do not get a D1 offer form a top university ... you are supposed to thank the gods and reveal in their failure.

3. If they go to a D1 university that is "shit" like University of Alabama, you are supposed to assume the child it an idiot and that his life will be a failure because it is a terrible university... unless he is playing football them you might need to slit your wrists. But you will hope they get CTE and die an early death.

4. If they go D3 to Tufts or Babson, you will have a small pain in the side... you will hope they can't major in a "real" degree like engineering and pray at night that they don't get a better job than your child. But it's Tuft/Babson, you know your prayers won't be answered, you cry yourself to sleep.

5. If they go D3 to Dickerson or Washington and Lee, you are conflicted, it's not terrible it's not elite but you wish bad this for the child, you lay awake at night not sure if it is a "shitty" university or not.... you lose lots of sleep.

6. If hey go D3 to Salisbury or Christopher Newport you post on DCUM about how their family wasted their whole lives paying for sports and now they go to a truly shitty university with no hope of having a fulfilling life... you are happy... you sleep well at night, until you wake up to the responses to your shitty DCUM post... you don't feel validated, you take Nyquil to sleep.

Okay, that was funny. Enjoyed it. But W&L is #10 so definitely elite. And Dickerson was a running back.

Haha I meant to Denison and Franklin and Marshall. Definitely had a brain glitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Much worse when schools and coaches to it, Op. Meaning, when they go on-and-on-and-on with the accolades.

Signing day at the high school with the Podunk State and Flyover Valley College hats. Wow, impressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2 very athletic children, 1 not so sporty, and the 1 athletes eventually went D1, could have easily done D3.

By proximity we have a very large amount of friends who are in the same situation.

One thing I learned going through the process is that parents with non-sporty kids can not contain their jealousy.

Each of us tries our hardest to only talk to each other about the commitment process and playing in college. Our true friends are happy for us and a few just very nice wonderful people, but generally there is a ton of vitriol around athletic recruits.

I advise parents of up and coming athletes to only talk to parents in a similar situation and every time they branch out, they feel the hate.

That may not be jealousy. They could be waiting for a chance to change the subject. I've seen this from the outside because I married/had kids late. When I was single my friends/cousins had kids in sports and some not in sports. The ones with kids in sports talked about their kids' sports nonstop. I know a lot about team/coach politics, but I enjoyed hearing it. I'm not sure if my kids will do sports or not, but all the kids are turning out great, so cool either way.

[Anonymous]

^^ let me also add that, from what I've seen, getting a spot on a college team is an achievement simply because only the best players get one. However, I think OP is saying it's not always an achievement worth having.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Student athletes bring a lot to the table in addition to academics, to say nothing of the fact that everything they achieve academically is done while they are spending hours every day in a non-academic pursuit. They tend to be highly efficient and organized and get a lot done in the time they have available. Colleges recognize these abilities and want these students at their institutions.

It’s possible that people who are not athletic and don’t have the experience of being intensely involved in an athletic activity find it difficult to understand why colleges value athletes and thus are perturbed by seeing those kids get spots they think the kids don’t “deserve.”

Your post assumes an awful lot about other people’s’ kids. How do you know others aren’t “intensely involved” in non-athletic pursuits. I appreciate that athletes have to work hard and fit in athletics and academics, but that is no different than a musician, artist, or activist that spends the same amount of hours in their pursuits. I think we overvalue athletics. They have a value, but no more than any pursuit that is similarly intense—and there are others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2 very athletic children, 1 not so sporty, and the 1 athletes eventually went D1, could have easily done D3.

By proximity we have a very large amount of friends who are in the same situation.

One thing I learned going through the process is that parents with non-sporty kids can not contain their jealousy.

Each of us tries our hardest to only talk to each other about the commitment process and playing in college. Our true friends are happy for us and a few just very nice wonderful people, but generally there is a ton of vitriol around athletic recruits.

I advise parents of up and coming athletes to only talk to parents in a similar situation and every time they branch out, they feel the hate.

That may not be jealousy. They could be waiting for a chance to change the subject. I've seen this from the outside because I married/had kids late. When I was single my friends/cousins had kids in sports and some not in sports. The ones with kids in sports talked about their kids' sports nonstop. I know a lot about team/coach politics, but I enjoyed hearing it. I'm not sure if my kids will do sports or not, but all the kids are turning out great, so cool either way.

Agree. It’s not necessarily jealousy. I can’t stand the bragging and I am not particularly interested in sports, so I’m not dying to talk about them. Also, I tend to not discuss college with other parents IRL.