Alarmingly underweight tween
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Anonymous
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Thanks PPs. Most days we have meat for dinner. She likes steak, chicken and pork. She eats eggs. Won’t eat fish. Last night we had fish and she chose her protein - cheese cubes. That happens once or twice a week. The hands off days won’t happen anymore. Those were at the advice of the dietician and psychologist and as you can see, did not work for us. It’s no wonder she didn’t make much progress last check up. She did grow, but not at a catch up rate. She clearly needs more intervention. This is why I think we haven’t exhausted our efforts at home. I appreciate all the recipe ideas.
I’m not discounting the feeding tube, but want to try what we know we need to do first. Examining the hands on days and hands off days was eye opening. |
Anonymous
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You and your DH do eat healthily but you are modeling basically dieting behaviors to your DD. Here is how you start the day for your dd.
Huge breakfast: several rashers of bacon 3 eggs bagel with nutella or cream cheese on. Juice and ensure if possible. You wake her up early and you make it and she starts by eating more and more, if you need you eat the same. She won't eat all of it the first week, but you do this. I hate to say this, but your eating is modeling your DD's eating. Sounds like you and your DH are very healthy food conscious, which would normally be awesome! but not for your DD, not in her case. Go to Texas Road House and you and your DH model eating a whole steak and baked potatoes and bread and a salad. I answered in earnest but your menu posting makes me wonder, if you are serious about your DD's issue or maybe a troll? |
Anonymous
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Why are you making fish for dinner when you know that your DD doesn't like it?
For most families, I completely 100% believe that a parent shouldn't cook to cater to a child's taste, and that kids should eat what their parents eat, but come on! Your child is in grave medical danger. This is nowhere close to a normal situation. It stinks, I am sure, to have to think this way about every meal and every snack your family has, but you can't really afford to lapse here. If you want to eat fish, eat it when she's at school. But at home, I would be making pizzas, tacos, or whatever food she might actually eat. Also, please feed her right after the ballet class. Do you allow her to eat food in the car? Bring a milkshake for her to consume when you pick her up. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
No she is at Children’s. |
Anonymous
I'm not the OP, but I have a question about this. I have three thin kids, one of whom is very, very thin, and he would NEVER eat all this. This isn't a normal breakfast. Very thin kid doesn't eat eggs. He'll have bacon or sausage on the weekend, but during the week, both because of time and because of what his body wants, he usually has cereal or a bagel or waffles with peanut butter for breakfast. For OP's child, who is under medical watch, of course a *bigger* breakfast is in order, but this amount of food doesn't seem reasonable for anyone, least of all a tiny girl. What is reasonable, yet also convenient and caloric? |
Anonymous
I asked if your nutritionist is focusing on trying to do this the healthy way? If she is, you need a new nutritionist. Not advice often given, but I had to forget everything I did right and shut my eyes and feed my kid donuts and pizza and Five Guys. It worked and even that wasn't easy. No preteen wants mom nagging to eat hamburgers! Once my DS was gaining and growing a lot, we started going back to healthy options, which he loved. He was sick of fast and fatty and bready foods. I am not kidding, he gained 15 lbs which was a miracle(at 15...) and he grew 5 inches in 6 months. That is how much food matters for height. Imagine how hard it is for some people to lose weight? It was harder and I was told by the good nutritionist that for people like my DS it is harder to gain weight than for very heavy kids to lose weight. While feeding DS this, I gained weight, for the first time apart from pregnancy. It was worth it. |
Anonymous
Huh? Troll? Why? Because we value nutrition? DD’s hands on diet was developed by her dietician based on the favorite foods DD shared and committed to eat. We made a contract with her doctor based on what is sustainable and healthy. We haven’t been doing this long enough to evaluate if it’s successful. DH is an athlete. I am a dancer. Nutrition is important to us, but we are aware DD’s needs are different from ours. Texas Roadhouse? Really? |
Anonymous
Mom of under 1% teen who ended up 5'11" here. I wrote this. No, this is not reasonable and her and your kid won't eat this much. There is a huge difference between failure to thrive and thin kids. We were all thin in the 80s, more or less. This is how I started with DS, he ate what he could and I would beg for just one more bite, slowly, slowly he started to eat more. You have to think of it as medicine, and hope it works. I said, this is how to start, offer it. This is exactly the opposite advice of what you would do for overweight kids. It worked for my DS, if your kids are just thin but not failure to thrive and tall enough, they are probably getting enough calories to grow. Start like this, then pray it works over the course of a month or two for OP. OP's kid eat like a bird according to her hands off days. I am not happy to recommend this, but it worked for my DS. Heck his estimate height was 5'8" plus minus 2 inches. It is not like I failed, I did what I had to based on advice of awesome ped endo and nutritionst. That is why I keep asking which endo is she seeing if she is here. |
Anonymous
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Op,
It sounds like you are doing a great job of trying to assess what the medical team is telling you, supporting your daughter in a healthy way, being aware of your own anxieties, and trying to find a balance. You can be both anxious and overprotective AND there can be something actually wrong or that needs to be addressed. I am guessing that given your dance career you any be a very controlled, disciplined, high achieving, perfectionism, and potentially anxious person. Having your own therapist will be very important in this process to help separate your own anxieties or tendencies from the situation. |
Anonymous
Yes, really. OP you don't seem to understand the severity of your DD's issue or you have overstated her problems. Is she a failure to thrive or not? Sure, choose, Marx' steak house, but feed your kid. If her nutritionist is doing this the healthy way... is it working? I am just a stranger on dcum, you are right not to listen to me, but ask yourself if this is working? If it is working... why is there a feeding tube talk? If your DD is not gaining weight your way and dietitian's way is there any open minded solution here? I say seek another nutritionist. Sadly my DS's one moved to New Orleans. I will be grateful to her for the rest of my life. I wanted it done healthy way, we tried, didn't work. She told us to do it this way, and it eventually worked. DS is back to eating healthily now. Didn't make him a junk food addict for the rest of his life. Anyway, I said enough, I don't think your DD is eating enough based on BTDT and my DS grew. You do you. My DS is an athlete too, you write your DD does ballet, daily? How many hours per week? And yet she is eating like a bird when she should be eating more than preteen that is not active. I tried to explain what worked, but you can't help people that don't want help. |
Anonymous
| Do not do a feeding tube and just encourage. Some kids are naturally thin no matter what they eat. |
Anonymous
Is there something wrong with Texas Roadhouse? We love it there! |
Anonymous
I mean, I'm a full-grown woman with a normal BMI who LOVES breakfast and food in general, but there's no way I could eat all that for breakfast! Bacon, THREE eggs, bagel plus cream cheese, juice, and ensure? And lay off OP - she's clearly seeking out proper medical support, and the menu does not look disordered at all. |
Anonymous
DP. This is the part that's not clear from all of OP's posts. |