Can I name my Jewish daughter Mary?

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are still reading, I think you need to consider that your daughter will be her own person and have her own journey toward figuring out her relationship with her Jewish identity.

Please don't make it harder on her by forcing her first interaction with Jewish identity to be explaining that her mom "just liked the name Mary" for her entire childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will assume she is Catholic for her whole life. She will have to explain she is Jewish her whole life. Do you want to saddle her with this?

Do you assume that everyone named Mary is Catholic? I don't.

This is too funny, people who aren't Catholic name their kids Mary all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are still reading, I think you need to consider that your daughter will be her own person and have her own journey toward figuring out her relationship with her Jewish identity.

Please don't make it harder on her by forcing her first interaction with Jewish identity to be explaining that her mom "just liked the name Mary" for her entire childhood.

Another Jewish poster here. This is a good point-- it's worth thinking about how the name you give your child could influence their connection to Judaism and the Jewish community. My husband is not Jewish and our children have his very obviously not Jewish last name. I wanted to give them Jewish first names (biblical and common among U.S Jews) to increase their sense of connection to that portion of their heritage.

[Anonymous]

NOOOO!

[Anonymous]

Marni not mary

[Anonymous]

I like the Marissa suggestion. You could also do Mara. I posted earlier no to Mary.

[Anonymous]

or Miriam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like the Marissa suggestion. You could also do Mara. I posted earlier no to Mary.

These are nice. Also Meredith, Marisol.

[Anonymous]

I know, Marielle!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is weird culturally because of the Catholic focus with the Virgin Mary, but it is biblically Jewish. No one questions Mark or Paul with Jewish boys, and there are a ton of Jewish men with those names...very New Testament. It really is just cultural.
Now, Christine, Christina, Chrissy...that is a Christian name.

Not entirely true. Jews are "Saul," which was Paul's Jewish name. Jewish "Paul"s again, are largely named after older relatives who picked an assimilated Christian version of the traditional Jewish name.

"Mark," like "Julius," are/were popular Jewish names because they are Roman names.

-- mom to a "Julius Saul," named after an Orthdox great uncle (deceased) and a great-grandmother and great-grandfather, Paul and Pauline.

You are taking it away too far. St. Paul, St. Mark- My point is that these are Christan religious names and I can list 20 Jewish Marks and Pauls..while yo can list original sources, so can Mary...but it was culturally taken by Catholic culture.

I am telling you what Jews actually think and say to each other. I am not speculating on history. I am a Jewish woman who has had four babies myself, and heard countless conversations among other Jews, especially those of my mother's generation, about these "Christian"-y name choices. Is Christian-splaining a thing? You don't have to like it, or think it's reasonable, but this is what Jews will say about little Mary. They will say, "That's an odd choice. I don't know why she would name her daughter Mary. It's so Christian." Not all Jews, but enough that if you participate in Jewish life at all, you might want to think twice before setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt feelings, or feeling misunderstood.

I am not Christain-splaining to you as I am Jewish. What part of my post did you not understand? Yes, Jews will say '"that's an odd choice" -but my point is that it is only cultural as Paul, Matthew, Mark are often given to Jewish boys at no one says "That's an odd choice. " Mary is not actually a Christian name, but Christy or variations of that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is weird culturally because of the Catholic focus with the Virgin Mary, but it is biblically Jewish. No one questions Mark or Paul with Jewish boys, and there are a ton of Jewish men with those names...very New Testament. It really is just cultural.
Now, Christine, Christina, Chrissy...that is a Christian name.

Not entirely true. Jews are "Saul," which was Paul's Jewish name. Jewish "Paul"s again, are largely named after older relatives who picked an assimilated Christian version of the traditional Jewish name.

"Mark," like "Julius," are/were popular Jewish names because they are Roman names.

-- mom to a "Julius Saul," named after an Orthdox great uncle (deceased) and a great-grandmother and great-grandfather, Paul and Pauline.

You are taking it away too far. St. Paul, St. Mark- My point is that these are Christan religious names and I can list 20 Jewish Marks and Pauls..while yo can list original sources, so can Mary...but it was culturally taken by Catholic culture.

I am telling you what Jews actually think and say to each other. I am not speculating on history. I am a Jewish woman who has had four babies myself, and heard countless conversations among other Jews, especially those of my mother's generation, about these "Christian"-y name choices. Is Christian-splaining a thing? You don't have to like it, or think it's reasonable, but this is what Jews will say about little Mary. They will say, "That's an odd choice. I don't know why she would name her daughter Mary. It's so Christian." Not all Jews, but enough that if you participate in Jewish life at all, you might want to think twice before setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt feelings, or feeling misunderstood.

I am not Christain-splaining to you as I am Jewish. What part of my post did you not understand? Yes, Jews will say '"that's an odd choice" -but my point is that it is only cultural as Paul, Matthew, Mark are often given to Jewish boys at no one says "That's an odd choice. " Mary is not actually a Christian name, but Christy or variations of that is.

If you name her marielle you can call her mari in private. At least in writing, mari will not have the shock value that Mary would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are still reading, I think you need to consider that your daughter will be her own person and have her own journey toward figuring out her relationship with her Jewish identity.

Please don't make it harder on her by forcing her first interaction with Jewish identity to be explaining that her mom "just liked the name Mary" for her entire childhood.

Do you think that the members of the Jewish community here are going to be incessantly asking a small child, "If you're Jewish, how come your name is Mary?!?! " The members of the Jewish community where I grew up would not have done this.

[Anonymous]

We're Christian and named our daughter Marian, which a lot of people hear as "Miriam," and then ask if we are Jewish.

It's a pretty name, OP! I vote for using it if you like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is weird culturally because of the Catholic focus with the Virgin Mary, but it is biblically Jewish. No one questions Mark or Paul with Jewish boys, and there are a ton of Jewish men with those names...very New Testament. It really is just cultural.
Now, Christine, Christina, Chrissy...that is a Christian name.

Not entirely true. Jews are "Saul," which was Paul's Jewish name. Jewish "Paul"s again, are largely named after older relatives who picked an assimilated Christian version of the traditional Jewish name.

"Mark," like "Julius," are/were popular Jewish names because they are Roman names.

-- mom to a "Julius Saul," named after an Orthdox great uncle (deceased) and a great-grandmother and great-grandfather, Paul and Pauline.

You are taking it away too far. St. Paul, St. Mark- My point is that these are Christan religious names and I can list 20 Jewish Marks and Pauls..while yo can list original sources, so can Mary...but it was culturally taken by Catholic culture.

I am telling you what Jews actually think and say to each other. I am not speculating on history. I am a Jewish woman who has had four babies myself, and heard countless conversations among other Jews, especially those of my mother's generation, about these "Christian"-y name choices. Is Christian-splaining a thing? You don't have to like it, or think it's reasonable, but this is what Jews will say about little Mary. They will say, "That's an odd choice. I don't know why she would name her daughter Mary. It's so Christian." Not all Jews, but enough that if you participate in Jewish life at all, you might want to think twice before setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt feelings, or feeling misunderstood.

This is not making Jews sound good. I don’t want to believe anyone would make a child feel bad about her name of all things.

And you think Christians would react any differently to a Christian boy named Mohamed?

Oh, well, if Christians do it, it must be okay... Wait!

Isn’t the whole point to repair the world rather than replicating intolerance?

Being surprised by a name and it causing some confusion isn't the same as intolerance. Few if any are suggesting you should mock a Jewish Mary or a Christian Mohamed. But that doesn't mean a few eyebrows won't be raised. Tikun Olam doesn't vitiate human nature.

Nor does tikun olam mean we must erase the things that make us a vibrant and distinctive culture. Names are important in every culture and serve as in markers in every culture.

Somehow the “lifetime of hurt feelings and being misunderstood” you predicted was downgraded to “a few raised eyebrows”. This just makes me feel bad thinking of converts who keep birth names, especially transracially adopted children. If the name “Mary” is enough to cause a born Jewish child to go through vetting at every new engagement with the community, what does an AA or AS Jewish child face?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is weird culturally because of the Catholic focus with the Virgin Mary, but it is biblically Jewish. No one questions Mark or Paul with Jewish boys, and there are a ton of Jewish men with those names...very New Testament. It really is just cultural.
Now, Christine, Christina, Chrissy...that is a Christian name.

Not entirely true. Jews are "Saul," which was Paul's Jewish name. Jewish "Paul"s again, are largely named after older relatives who picked an assimilated Christian version of the traditional Jewish name.

"Mark," like "Julius," are/were popular Jewish names because they are Roman names.

-- mom to a "Julius Saul," named after an Orthdox great uncle (deceased) and a great-grandmother and great-grandfather, Paul and Pauline.

You are taking it away too far. St. Paul, St. Mark- My point is that these are Christan religious names and I can list 20 Jewish Marks and Pauls..while yo can list original sources, so can Mary...but it was culturally taken by Catholic culture.

I am telling you what Jews actually think and say to each other. I am not speculating on history. I am a Jewish woman who has had four babies myself, and heard countless conversations among other Jews, especially those of my mother's generation, about these "Christian"-y name choices. Is Christian-splaining a thing? You don't have to like it, or think it's reasonable, but this is what Jews will say about little Mary. They will say, "That's an odd choice. I don't know why she would name her daughter Mary. It's so Christian." Not all Jews, but enough that if you participate in Jewish life at all, you might want to think twice before setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt feelings, or feeling misunderstood.

I am not Christain-splaining to you as I am Jewish. What part of my post did you not understand? Yes, Jews will say '"that's an odd choice" -but my point is that it is only cultural as Paul, Matthew, Mark are often given to Jewish boys at no one says "That's an odd choice. " Mary is not actually a Christian name, but Christy or variations of that is.

How old are you? I am a former Catholic in an interfaith Jewish marriage, and Mary is WAYY Catholic to me. I'd never name my child Mary - hard enough trying to give them a Jewish identity as is!