Tell me about the white Party at glen echo tomorrow night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it when people throw money at a societal issue and think they are having meaningful impact without actually engaging the community they purport to support.

I’m a former DBCR teacher and this whole thread is intriguing to me. On one hand, I totally get that raising money (and a substantial amount at that) is extremely necessary to keep the school running (the students working only earn about half of what a school-running tuition would cost—the rest needs to be made up through donations, endowments, charity events like this party, etc.).

But, man, the juxtaposition of wealthy (majority white) middle schoolers going to a party called a “white party” (I know... attire... I know...) to raise money for DBCR students (who are of color) is jarring. I mean the DBCR uniform is even black!

What the pp said above really resonated with me while reading though this entire thread. While obviously the school and the students need funding (I mean hey thanks for paying my $38,000/year salary! Also weird that I got paid due in part to middle schoolers attending a party), doing so in ways like this seems... detached? Tone deaf? Alienating? Weird? How many people concerned about this “charity” actually step foot in the school and interact with the students and teachers there? And the few that do (DBCR becomes like a pet project for some wealthy people) can be nauseatingly tone deaf. Examples: A group of young women gigging nervously saying things like, “awww, these students are so CUUUUTE!” (to students’ faces, of course), a wealthy white man literally PATTING A STUDENT ON THE HEAD and saying, “well aren’t you something?”, a white women asked a student giving a tour if he learned how to speak “such proper English! Wow!” at the school, etc.

I think another pp used the word “icky” to describe what this kind of a fundraiser feels like. I tend to agree—it makes the students into a “feel good” project but it does little to teach empathy or—really—just normal social behavior/decency when we’re around people that don’t look like us (or are of the same socioeconomic class). I think that’s an even more important take away than just feeling good about helping “poor kids,” right?

I don’t know. Donate and party if you want, but I do think the other side of this thing is something worth considering.

Thank you for posting. +1

[Anonymous]

I think if the school was /is uncomfortable with it l, they should be the ones saying something. I really do understand all the points raised here. However, if philanthropy like this dries up, and when they’re older it’ll be galas,,etc. then there will be a lot less money going to important needs. I guess the kids could’ve just had a party? I’ve held many fundraising events st my home. People attend largely due to the social aspect of it. And I know that. They’re not coming for the food at 1k a plate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if the school was /is uncomfortable with it l, they should be the ones saying something. I really do understand all the points raised here. However, if philanthropy like this dries up, and when they’re older it’ll be galas,,etc. then there will be a lot less money going to important needs. I guess the kids could’ve just had a party? I’ve held many fundraising events st my home. People attend largely due to the social aspect of it. And I know that. They’re not coming for the food at 1k a plate.

If I were in charge of a school that received a lot of money from an ostensibly-philanthropic party, I wouldn't say, "Stop having that party, you hypocrites!" Would you?

Ideally people would give the money without the party. But people generally aren't ideal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it when people throw money at a societal issue and think they are having meaningful impact without actually engaging the community they purport to support.

I’m a former DBCR teacher and this whole thread is intriguing to me. On one hand, I totally get that raising money (and a substantial amount at that) is extremely necessary to keep the school running (the students working only earn about half of what a school-running tuition would cost—the rest needs to be made up through donations, endowments, charity events like this party, etc.).

But, man, the juxtaposition of wealthy (majority white) middle schoolers going to a party called a “white party” (I know... attire... I know...) to raise money for DBCR students (who are of color) is jarring. I mean the DBCR uniform is even black!

What the pp said above really resonated with me while reading though this entire thread. While obviously the school and the students need funding (I mean hey thanks for paying my $38,000/year salary! Also weird that I got paid due in part to middle schoolers attending a party), doing so in ways like this seems... detached? Tone deaf? Alienating? Weird? How many people concerned about this “charity” actually step foot in the school and interact with the students and teachers there? And the few that do (DBCR becomes like a pet project for some wealthy people) can be nauseatingly tone deaf. Examples: A group of young women gigging nervously saying things like, “awww, these students are so CUUUUTE!” (to students’ faces, of course), a wealthy white man literally PATTING A STUDENT ON THE HEAD and saying, “well aren’t you something?”, a white women asked a student giving a tour if he learned how to speak “such proper English! Wow!” at the school, etc.

I think another pp used the word “icky” to describe what this kind of a fundraiser feels like. I tend to agree—it makes the students into a “feel good” project but it does little to teach empathy or—really—just normal social behavior/decency when we’re around people that don’t look like us (or are of the same socioeconomic class). I think that’s an even more important take away than just feeling good about helping “poor kids,” right?

I don’t know. Donate and party if you want, but I do think the other side of this thing is something worth considering.

+1 Thanks so much for your perspective. Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a white party?

Ironic name for an event held at a place that was famous for it's history of segregation.

OMG get a life. It refers to tire - guests only wear white.

Please tell me this is a typo and you know it's "attire". Please.

Yes, of course. Typing on my phone and the "at-" disappeared. Do you all not realize that most of the typos on DCUM are due to typing skills/fat fingers not stupid people? A "your" instead of "you're" or a "there" instead of "their" is one thing. A mis-spelled word or obviously missing letters is another entirely. Come on....

how do letters disappear? Also, I think not proofreading anything you type, no matter where it's being seen, is kind of a mark of stupid, so I disagree. I do think it's cute that you think people aren't stupid though, how nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a white party?

Ironic name for an event held at a place that was famous for it's history of segregation.

OMG get a life. It refers to tire - guests only wear white.

Please tell me this is a typo and you know it's "attire". Please.

Yes, of course. Typing on my phone and the "at-" disappeared. Do you all not realize that most of the typos on DCUM are due to typing skills/fat fingers not stupid people? A "your" instead of "you're" or a "there" instead of "their" is one thing. A mis-spelled word or obviously missing letters is another entirely. Come on....

how do letters disappear? Also, I think not proofreading anything you type, no matter where it's being seen, is kind of a mark of stupid, so I disagree. I do think it's cute that you think people aren't stupid though, how nice.

Keep on task.

[Anonymous]

So white kids wearing white is criticized but a non-white school using a black uniform is not? Must everything black or white be tied to or labeled with race?

A bunch of kids want to have a dance. They decide to send the money to a charitable cause. It becomes very popular because, well - junior high kids really like to go to dances and try to meet cute boys/girls because that’s what junior high kids think about. The kids hosting all happen to be from areas that are demographically very white. Thus their friend group (likely the first ones to buy tickets) and their schools echo those demographics. What can you do about that? Force quotas? Bus other kids in?

[Anonymous]

These kids could also do nothing but stare at their phones on a Saturday night. What is the harm in them dressing up, meeting kids from other schools and raising money for charity. Not everything has to be politicized, least of all a dance for 7th & 8th graders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it when people throw money at a societal issue and think they are having meaningful impact without actually engaging the community they purport to support.

I’m a former DBCR teacher and this whole thread is intriguing to me. On one hand, I totally get that raising money (and a substantial amount at that) is extremely necessary to keep the school running (the students working only earn about half of what a school-running tuition would cost—the rest needs to be made up through donations, endowments, charity events like this party, etc.).

But, man, the juxtaposition of wealthy (majority white) middle schoolers going to a party called a “white party” (I know... attire... I know...) to raise money for DBCR students (who are of color) is jarring. I mean the DBCR uniform is even black!

What the pp said above really resonated with me while reading though this entire thread. While obviously the school and the students need funding (I mean hey thanks for paying my $38,000/year salary! Also weird that I got paid due in part to middle schoolers attending a party), doing so in ways like this seems... detached? Tone deaf? Alienating? Weird? How many people concerned about this “charity” actually step foot in the school and interact with the students and teachers there? And the few that do (DBCR becomes like a pet project for some wealthy people) can be nauseatingly tone deaf. Examples: A group of young women gigging nervously saying things like, “awww, these students are so CUUUUTE!” (to students’ faces, of course), a wealthy white man literally PATTING A STUDENT ON THE HEAD and saying, “well aren’t you something?”, a white women asked a student giving a tour if he learned how to speak “such proper English! Wow!” at the school, etc.

I think another pp used the word “icky” to describe what this kind of a fundraiser feels like. I tend to agree—it makes the students into a “feel good” project but it does little to teach empathy or—really—just normal social behavior/decency when we’re around people that don’t look like us (or are of the same socioeconomic class). I think that’s an even more important take away than just feeling good about helping “poor kids,” right?

I don’t know. Donate and party if you want, but I do think the other side of this thing is something worth considering.

My sons attended and they played sports with some kids that go to DBCR when they were in middle school. They were friends, they did birthday parties together. We would eat together at tournaments. They don't go into any of their friends school except to play sports or go to a play. Not everybody knows everybody else, but I don't think anybody would be at my house playing video games with the DBCR student and think .... pat on head... I did something good for you in 7th grade. They just think ... wow you are good at fortnight.

[Anonymous]

The white party isn't a big deal.
Teens in 7th and 8th grade make it sound like a huge deal.
My daughter said tons of girls had their dress ready months before the actual party.
Rumors also said some kids arrived at the party drunk...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So white kids wearing white is criticized but a non-white school using a black uniform is not? Must everything black or white be tied to or labeled with race?

A bunch of kids want to have a dance. They decide to send the money to a charitable cause. It becomes very popular because, well - junior high kids really like to go to dances and try to meet cute boys/girls because that’s what junior high kids think about. The kids hosting all happen to be from areas that are demographically very white. Thus their friend group (likely the first ones to buy tickets) and their schools echo those demographics. What can you do about that? Force quotas? Bus other kids in?

Just ignore the haters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it when people throw money at a societal issue and think they are having meaningful impact without actually engaging the community they purport to support.

I’m a former DBCR teacher and this whole thread is intriguing to me. On one hand, I totally get that raising money (and a substantial amount at that) is extremely necessary to keep the school running (the students working only earn about half of what a school-running tuition would cost—the rest needs to be made up through donations, endowments, charity events like this party, etc.).

But, man, the juxtaposition of wealthy (majority white) middle schoolers going to a party called a “white party” (I know... attire... I know...) to raise money for DBCR students (who are of color) is jarring. I mean the DBCR uniform is even black!

What the pp said above really resonated with me while reading though this entire thread. While obviously the school and the students need funding (I mean hey thanks for paying my $38,000/year salary! Also weird that I got paid due in part to middle schoolers attending a party), doing so in ways like this seems... detached? Tone deaf? Alienating? Weird? How many people concerned about this “charity” actually step foot in the school and interact with the students and teachers there? And the few that do (DBCR becomes like a pet project for some wealthy people) can be nauseatingly tone deaf. Examples: A group of young women gigging nervously saying things like, “awww, these students are so CUUUUTE!” (to students’ faces, of course), a wealthy white man literally PATTING A STUDENT ON THE HEAD and saying, “well aren’t you something?”, a white women asked a student giving a tour if he learned how to speak “such proper English! Wow!” at the school, etc.

I think another pp used the word “icky” to describe what this kind of a fundraiser feels like. I tend to agree—it makes the students into a “feel good” project but it does little to teach empathy or—really—just normal social behavior/decency when we’re around people that don’t look like us (or are of the same socioeconomic class). I think that’s an even more important take away than just feeling good about helping “poor kids,” right?

I don’t know. Donate and party if you want, but I do think the other side of this thing is something worth considering.

How is this party different than the thousands of galas thrown throughout the DC area raising money for many great causes. I attended one a few weeks ago and over $100,000 was raised for the NIH Children's Inn. I purchased an expensive dress and my husband wore his tux. We all drank and ate and had a great time. All to raise money to help families of sick people. Should I have declined this invitation and just donated the money I would have spent on my dress? My table was already paid for. But if I declined, I would not have been there to purchase the auction items or make my large donation during he raise the paddle portion of the live auction. You see how these parties work to raise money? Like another PP said, why can't it be a win win? If it weren't for all of these parties, these organizations would be severely struggling. So get over it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How is this party different than the thousands of galas thrown throughout the DC area raising money for many great causes. I attended one a few weeks ago and over $100,000 was raised for the NIH Children's Inn. I purchased an expensive dress and my husband wore his tux. We all drank and ate and had a great time. All to raise money to help families of sick people. Should I have declined this invitation and just donated the money I would have spent on my dress? My table was already paid for. But if I declined, I would not have been there to purchase the auction items or make my large donation during he raise the paddle portion of the live auction. You see how these parties work to raise money? Like another PP said, why can't it be a win win? If it weren't for all of these parties, these organizations would be severely struggling. So get over it!

Yes. Plus the money you spent during the raise the paddle portion of the live auction (whatever that is).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How is this party different than the thousands of galas thrown throughout the DC area raising money for many great causes. I attended one a few weeks ago and over $100,000 was raised for the NIH Children's Inn. I purchased an expensive dress and my husband wore his tux. We all drank and ate and had a great time. All to raise money to help families of sick people. Should I have declined this invitation and just donated the money I would have spent on my dress? My table was already paid for. But if I declined, I would not have been there to purchase the auction items or make my large donation during he raise the paddle portion of the live auction. You see how these parties work to raise money? Like another PP said, why can't it be a win win? If it weren't for all of these parties, these organizations would be severely struggling. So get over it!

Yes. Plus the money you spent during the raise the paddle portion of the live auction (whatever that is).

If you just gave, these organizations would be much healthier financially, although the same can't be said for the venues, event planners, caterers, etc. they need to pay to put on these events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How is this party different than the thousands of galas thrown throughout the DC area raising money for many great causes. I attended one a few weeks ago and over $100,000 was raised for the NIH Children's Inn. I purchased an expensive dress and my husband wore his tux. We all drank and ate and had a great time. All to raise money to help families of sick people. Should I have declined this invitation and just donated the money I would have spent on my dress? My table was already paid for. But if I declined, I would not have been there to purchase the auction items or make my large donation during he raise the paddle portion of the live auction. You see how these parties work to raise money? Like another PP said, why can't it be a win win? If it weren't for all of these parties, these organizations would be severely struggling. So get over it!

Yes. Plus the money you spent during the raise the paddle portion of the live auction (whatever that is).

Really, the NERVE of PP having a little fun while supporting a good cause!