Every couple should spend a week with children before having a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop trying to shame the OP, Carl Sagan. Yes, many people raise children and do all those things. But not everyone and raising children is not for everyone. OP is trying to say, some people are better off not having children and if they had really experienced some of those things might have made a better decision not to have children. Just because everyone else does something, does not mean that it is right for the individual.

She should be ashamed of herself. Anyone who does not have children for such puny, weak-minded reasons is a total failure as a human being.

What is she doing with her time now? Watching TV and surfing the web in her pristine house? Yaay for her. She can look back on that from her deathbed with great satisfaction. Too bad there won't be any children or grandchildren to comfort her.

Are you jealous or just a total b*tch all the time?

Why would I be jealous of her?

She doesn't have kids -- and I do.

She lacks the mental and moral courage to take on the challenges of raising children -- and I don't.

She is obsessed with her money and her possessions -- and I'm not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Obviously I don't know what it's like to be a parent.
I agree with that 100%.
This experience did give me a good idea of what day to day life would be like.
These are my observations:
1. My house was an absolute mess by the time the children left.
2. I can't have nice furniture and have children.
3. I barely spoke to my husband. We were both too busy wrangling children to communicate about anything other than what was happening at the exact moment.
4. I didn't want to be touched by my husband at the end of the day.
5. I spent A LOT of money.
6. I felt like a zombie amd was exhausted the entire time.

I took 2 personal days in order to do this. I can't imagine having to work full-time, raise children and keep a house in order. These things, I feel, are fair representations of things you experience and go through being a parent. These things happen whether you're caring for your own children or someone else's child.

but OP, this is like if you didn't exercise and then ran a 10K one day. you'd be saying "wow that was hard! I had to stop to walk all the time and now I am super sore and can barely move. Running is so hard." Well, ok, but you came it at pretty differently than everyone else out there did, so your experience is not exactly comparable. Of course if I take a day in my current life and compare it to a day from my pre-kid life it looks vastly different. But I didn't get there overnight, as you are advocating. Is it harder to keep a clean house and keep a relationship with your husband and maintain your energy level? of course. but you get a lot of practice by the time you have kids as old as the ones you watched.

Based on the above comment Op sounds pretty superficial and self centered. I would not recommend that she have children. You've made a good decision to stay childless, OP!

You talk as though superficial/self-centered people don't have kids... believe me, lots of them do, and raise their precious babies to be just like them.
I'm with you, OP. Whether it's my laziness or superficiality or maybe knowing myself and what I want/need/am capable of, I've made the same decision. I'm an amazing aunt too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop trying to shame the OP, Carl Sagan. Yes, many people raise children and do all those things. But not everyone and raising children is not for everyone. OP is trying to say, some people are better off not having children and if they had really experienced some of those things might have made a better decision not to have children. Just because everyone else does something, does not mean that it is right for the individual.

She should be ashamed of herself. Anyone who does not have children for such puny, weak-minded reasons is a total failure as a human being.

What is she doing with her time now? Watching TV and surfing the web in her pristine house? Yaay for her. She can look back on that from her deathbed with great satisfaction. Too bad there won't be any children or grandchildren to comfort her.

Are you jealous or just a total b*tch all the time?

Why would I be jealous of her?

She doesn't have kids -- and I do.

She lacks the mental and moral courage to take on the challenges of raising children -- and I don't.

She is obsessed with her money and her possessions -- and I'm not.

It's not a f-ing competition. People make decisions based on what's best for them, not what others think is best for them.
You made your decision, good for you, and she's making hers. Doesn't make either of you wrong or better than anyone else... unless you're one of those people who assumes people with children are just better than the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop trying to shame the OP, Carl Sagan. Yes, many people raise children and do all those things. But not everyone and raising children is not for everyone. OP is trying to say, some people are better off not having children and if they had really experienced some of those things might have made a better decision not to have children. Just because everyone else does something, does not mean that it is right for the individual.

She should be ashamed of herself. Anyone who does not have children for such puny, weak-minded reasons is a total failure as a human being.

What is she doing with her time now? Watching TV and surfing the web in her pristine house? Yaay for her. She can look back on that from her deathbed with great satisfaction. Too bad there won't be any children or grandchildren to comfort her.

Are you jealous or just a total b*tch all the time?

Why would I be jealous of her?

She doesn't have kids -- and I do.

She lacks the mental and moral courage to take on the challenges of raising children -- and I don't.

She is obsessed with her money and her possessions -- and I'm not.

You are basing your value as a person on the fact that you have children.
Congratulations to your body for performing a basic biological function.
Ou must be so proud. Is that the only thing you've accomplished in your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop trying to shame the OP, Carl Sagan. Yes, many people raise children and do all those things. But not everyone and raising children is not for everyone. OP is trying to say, some people are better off not having children and if they had really experienced some of those things might have made a better decision not to have children. Just because everyone else does something, does not mean that it is right for the individual.

She should be ashamed of herself. Anyone who does not have children for such puny, weak-minded reasons is a total failure as a human being.

What is she doing with her time now? Watching TV and surfing the web in her pristine house? Yaay for her. She can look back on that from her deathbed with great satisfaction. Too bad there won't be any children or grandchildren to comfort her.

Are you jealous or just a total b*tch all the time?

Why would I be jealous of her?

She doesn't have kids -- and I do.

She lacks the mental and moral courage to take on the challenges of raising children -- and I don't.

She is obsessed with her money and her possessions -- and I'm not.

Your envy is showing. Thought you should know.

[Anonymous]

I don't need to spend a week taking care of children to know it is exhausting and not something I want to do.

[Anonymous]

MikeL wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also just want to say that although unlike you I will never again go to sleep at night without wondering about my children, and I'll never stop living with the fear that bad things will one day happen to them and I can't stop them, my children are so much more than the things I will never have because of them. They made me the person I was supposed to be. Having kids deepens your compassion because suddenly in every human you see the possibility of that being your child. You know they too had a mother. You look at your child doing something and it blows you away and you realize wow, if I feel this about MY kid, my mom felt that way about ME. Their love is unconditional which makes you work that much harder to earn it, so they can be proud to say of you "That's MY MOM!" I would not be half the woman I am today if I had never had my kids. I can't imagine trading that in for brunch and some extra sleep.

Wow that is so sweet. Your kids are fortunate to have you for a Mom.

+100000
I enjoyed kids before I had them, and totally agree with this poster. I am a better person for having my children. And yes, I'm tired and my house is a mess. And I don't take spontaneous trips. But someday I will do those things again. And will hopefully continue a great relationship with my kids as I watch them come into their own.

That being said, if OP digs her lifestyle as is, then she should NOT have children. No one cares - it is a personal choice that they are allowed to make. Live and let live.

[Anonymous]

PP here -
but I am curious as to why OP is even on a parenting forum??? To say she doesn't want kids?

[Anonymous]

OP, you have the right idea. The parents attacking you are just bitter and defensive because you are rejecting their life choices. I have a son and I adore him with all of my heart. But if I could go back and do it all over again, I would have waited at least 5 years more before I had him.

When you have a child, you lose your freedom for good. I can't even wash my ass in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been married for 5 years. We were 85% sure we don't want children.
My sister had the oppurtunity to make a spur of the moment trip to Portland to visit her husband (he restationed there...they'll join him in a month) and asked if DH and I would watch my nephews-ages 2.5 and 6.
They were with us for a week.
Good God. It is A LOT of work. Props to you parents. I don't know how you do it.
They left this afternoon. DH and I looked at each other and simultaneously agreed that we are not starting a family.
I often hear people on DCUM discuss how they had no idea how hard parenthood would be.
Try it for a week!! You might get your answer.

That's like saying giving blow jobs is disgusting. Of course it is, if these penises are attached to strangers. It's different when it belongs to your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been married for 5 years. We were 85% sure we don't want children.
My sister had the oppurtunity to make a spur of the moment trip to Portland to visit her husband (he restationed there...they'll join him in a month) and asked if DH and I would watch my nephews-ages 2.5 and 6.
They were with us for a week.
Good God. It is A LOT of work. Props to you parents. I don't know how you do it.
They left this afternoon. DH and I looked at each other and simultaneously agreed that we are not starting a family.
I often hear people on DCUM discuss how they had no idea how hard parenthood would be.
Try it for a week!! You might get your answer.

That's like saying giving blow jobs is disgusting. Of course it is, if these penises are attached to strangers. It's different when it belongs to your DH.

Maybe I prefer vaginas. What the fuck business is it of yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here -
but I am curious as to why OP is even on a parenting forum??? To say she doesn't want kids?

There you are!! The owner of the Internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been married for 5 years. We were 85% sure we don't want children.
My sister had the oppurtunity to make a spur of the moment trip to Portland to visit her husband (he restationed there...they'll join him in a month) and asked if DH and I would watch my nephews-ages 2.5 and 6.
They were with us for a week.
Good God. It is A LOT of work. Props to you parents. I don't know how you do it.
They left this afternoon. DH and I looked at each other and simultaneously agreed that we are not starting a family.
I often hear people on DCUM discuss how they had no idea how hard parenthood would be.
Try it for a week!! You might get your answer.

That's like saying giving blow jobs is disgusting. Of course it is, if these penises are attached to strangers. It's different when it belongs to your DH.

I love giving BJs....even to random hookups. Happily married now so no more strangers but back in the day...oh yeah!
-40 ish suburban mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been married for 5 years. We were 85% sure we don't want children.
My sister had the oppurtunity to make a spur of the moment trip to Portland to visit her husband (he restationed there...they'll join him in a month) and asked if DH and I would watch my nephews-ages 2.5 and 6.
They were with us for a week.
Good God. It is A LOT of work. Props to you parents. I don't know how you do it.
They left this afternoon. DH and I looked at each other and simultaneously agreed that we are not starting a family.
I often hear people on DCUM discuss how they had no idea how hard parenthood would be.
Try it for a week!! You might get your answer.

That's like saying giving blow jobs is disgusting. Of course it is, if these penises are attached to strangers. It's different when it belongs to your DH.

Maybe I prefer vaginas. What the fuck business is it of yours?

You've put your business on a public forum when you started this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not a f-ing competition. People make decisions based on what's best for them, not what others think is best for them.
You made your decision, good for you, and she's making hers. Doesn't make either of you wrong or better than anyone else... unless you're one of those people who assumes people with children are just better than the rest of us.

Those who have children are investing in the future of the human race.

Those who don't have children are simply parasites on the people who made the effort to raise children in the past.

Those who have children care about others.

Those who don't have children only care for themselves.

The moral distinction between the two groups is crystal clear.