Any Formerly SAHM's Back to Work for Economic Reasons and Hating It?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give you that.

My oldest was admitted early to either H/Y/S/P. My second oldest, is currently the top-ranked student at one of the highly regarded local high schools. The younger ones, though not yet in high school, are also top students in their grades.

All of them read books every night, play musical instruments at a high level of conservatory and orchestra training, and participate in club and school sports. One is a nationally recognized debater. The other an awarded writer. The older ones volunteer three hours every week with special needs children. They participate in school plays and concerts as well.

They take nothing for granted, and have good friendships. Their teachers love them, and I frequently receive compliments on my family when we are out - once we had dinner out paid for by a complete stranger who admired our family. But, yes, I understand that you might dislike them.

Do they also dig wells in Peru?

+ Blow jobs in the locker room.

[Anonymous]

"I suppose that it is hard for anyone to believe it when their neighbor's, friend's, or colleague's child is admitted to a top school, or graduates first in their class, because those things are hard to accomplish, and thus rare. I am grateful for those things - and I would like to think that, in some little way, my decision to give up a successful, and well-paid career to support my significant other and our children as we moved around for SO's career, contributed to an overall stability that led to their being well-adjusted and academically successful - BUT, I would be just as happy with my children if they were in the middle of their class and attended a community college (and my spouse's mother did). "

Hard to believe. What would you brag about?

[Anonymous]

Tiger mom, I support you as a WOHM. What is reflected here is resentment or regret, pure and simple, from others whose sacrifices or careers have not yielded the rewards, fulfillment, or satisfaction they expected.

Like you, I have raised grown children who are very successful, and at work, or among the SAHMs at school, I have experience over the years different types of criticism.

At work it came in the form of passive-aggressive antagonism from colleagues who either did not have kids, or who resented my years of having to leave early or take sick days. At school, it came in the form of parents who gave up their careers and resented that I, who did not, was the one with my kids going to Stanford and Columbia. I will never forget the comment that our nanny must be so proud to have raised a Stanford grad.

People always get a little edgy when your kids do well, but do not take it personally. Enjoy your job, and the fruits of your labor, which it appears that you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. Let me re-phrase. If you hate your job, how do you get through your days until you can find another position? Listen to music, take long lunch, be passive-aggressive??? Like one NICE poster said, it will take awhile... Home is where the heart is...

I am not reading 10 pages of vitriol, but saw this post of OP's at the bottom of the first page and decided to answer.

I never got to be SAH. Have been WOHM since DD was an infant, although I was able to cut back to 4 days per week a few years ago. Hate it. Hate it with a passion, and it certainly doesn't help that I don't like my job. Find myself envious every morning as I drive to work and I see moms walking dogs or going for morning runs. Maybe they just go to work later than I do, but I always feel as if they are SAH. Same thing in the afternoon as I pass moms walking kids home from school.

How do I handle it? Not very well. Tell myself multiple times per day that I'm grateful for the paycheck, as our lives would be dramatically different if we only had one income. I try to maximize my time with DD when we are home. I save personal time for after she's in bed or early in the morning. We don't vacation without her. I do my best to be involved in her classroom and make lots of memories when we are together.

Make no mistake, it is very hard. Maybe it would be better if I found my job fulfilling, but somehow I have a feeling that no job would ever compare to the desire to be a SAH wife and mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give you that.

My oldest was admitted early to either H/Y/S/P. My second oldest, is currently the top-ranked student at one of the highly regarded local high schools. The younger ones, though not yet in high school, are also top students in their grades.

All of them read books every night, play musical instruments at a high level of conservatory and orchestra training, and participate in club and school sports. One is a nationally recognized debater. The other an awarded writer. The older ones volunteer three hours every week with special needs children. They participate in school plays and concerts as well.

They take nothing for granted, and have good friendships. Their teachers love them, and I frequently receive compliments on my family when we are out - once we had dinner out paid for by a complete stranger who admired our family. But, yes, I understand that you might dislike them.

you had me until a complete stranger laid eyes upon you and your beautiful family and, without knowing that your kids are nationally recognized debaters who volunteer time and money to the mentally disabled, felt the need to buy you dinner.

[Anonymous]

"People always get a little edgy when your kids do well, but do not take it personally."

How would co-workers know your kids do well?

[Anonymous]

also, PP, "they" is a pronoun used in the singular to refer to a transgendered person (or person undergoing the change from one gender to the other).

are you trying to tell us something about your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wohm mom. Guess what? We work for economic reasons too.

I'm a WOHM and I work because I enjoy my job, and the thought of being a SAHM makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

If you won the lottery you would still work at your job? Lol.

I am 10:27, and if I won the lottery, I wold still work. It might not be at my current job though. I actually have this planned out. I would manage the renovation of historical homes sort of like Nicole Curtis.

Well, Im a former SAHM that does not have to work (in fact, my DH prefers I not work, lol). But I really live my job. I am making a real difference in the world-- Im a high level policy decisionmaker for the large state I live in (not DC). I get to see my work affect millions of people a few months after I make the call. Amazing feeling. I love being a mom (and will always cherish my years at home). But, now Im happy to be able to contribute to the "greater good" and still be a good mom now that they're in school full time.

That said, the transition was rough-- first six months were hard on me. Both bec I missed my kids and had my insecurities about returning to work. But, now that I have my "groove back," I am in my elelment. I have two high level degrees - so I thrive at work (in a way that pickup/crafts/cooking/etc would never fulfill me).

Thank you for sharing this. I'm lucky to be in a situation where my spouses relocation here and salary bump is enough to cover daycare while I job hunt/return to work. This whole thing has been really stressful thus far because I don't want to waste this amazing opportunity to pick something that I love but I've also got some insecurities from staying home, (which was great but I def feel like I'm wasting my degrees.) Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I have stayed home for years raising our children, and I have truly enjoyed it. Many parents here have posted about the stresses and drawbacks of being a SAHP, but it is honestly the job I have a "passion" for.l

That said, my dear spouse agreed to set up a separate account, in my name, with half of the after-tax, after-expenses, post-retirement savings, and post-investment HHI. It is the surplus for my benefit, and though some parents might have drawn this down for frivolous, extra expenses, I have never touched it.

That account is now enough to retire on, were I never to return to work. In that sense, I am fortunate in that I really enjoy being a SAHP, and in that if I had never married my professional job would never in an entire career have paid enough that I could have saved as much in retirement for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have stayed home for years raising our children, and I have truly enjoyed it. Many parents here have posted about the stresses and drawbacks of being a SAHP, but it is honestly the job I have a "passion" for.l

That said, my dear spouse agreed to set up a separate account, in my name, with half of the after-tax, after-expenses, post-retirement savings, and post-investment HHI. It is the surplus for my benefit, and though some parents might have drawn this down for frivolous, extra expenses, I have never touched it.

That account is now enough to retire on, were I never to return to work. In that sense, I am fortunate in that I really enjoy being a SAHP, and in that if I had never married my professional job would never in an entire career have paid enough that I could have saved as much in retirement for myself.

Are you trying to make OP feel bad? Why brag about how your job as a housewife paid more than you could have earned on the job market?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have stayed home for years raising our children, and I have truly enjoyed it. Many parents here have posted about the stresses and drawbacks of being a SAHP, but it is honestly the job I have a "passion" for.l

That said, my dear spouse agreed to set up a separate account, in my name, with half of the after-tax, after-expenses, post-retirement savings, and post-investment HHI. It is the surplus for my benefit, and though some parents might have drawn this down for frivolous, extra expenses, I have never touched it.

That account is now enough to retire on, were I never to return to work. In that sense, I am fortunate in that I really enjoy being a SAHP, and in that if I had never married my professional job would never in an entire career have paid enough that I could have saved as much in retirement for myself.

The man is the plan!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have stayed home for years raising our children, and I have truly enjoyed it. Many parents here have posted about the stresses and drawbacks of being a SAHP, but it is honestly the job I have a "passion" for.l

That said, my dear spouse agreed to set up a separate account, in my name, with half of the after-tax, after-expenses, post-retirement savings, and post-investment HHI. It is the surplus for my benefit, and though some parents might have drawn this down for frivolous, extra expenses, I have never touched it.

That account is now enough to retire on, were I never to return to work. In that sense, I am fortunate in that I really enjoy being a SAHP, and in that if I had never married my professional job would never in an entire career have paid enough that I could have saved as much in retirement for myself.

This is the weirdest thing ever, in so many ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have stayed home for years raising our children, and I have truly enjoyed it. Many parents here have posted about the stresses and drawbacks of being a SAHP, but it is honestly the job I have a "passion" for.l

That said, my dear spouse agreed to set up a separate account, in my name, with half of the after-tax, after-expenses, post-retirement savings, and post-investment HHI. It is the surplus for my benefit, and though some parents might have drawn this down for frivolous, extra expenses, I have never touched it.

That account is now enough to retire on, were I never to return to work. In that sense, I am fortunate in that I really enjoy being a SAHP, and in that if I had never married my professional job would never in an entire career have paid enough that I could have saved as much in retirement for myself.

This is the weirdest thing ever, in so many ways.

Not really, I read it as the poster you are quoting trying to thwart the recurring criticism on this thread that says that even if you enjoy being a stay at home mom, and your temperament is well suited to the job, you will still suffer in the end when your husband leaves you, and you are left poorer, older, and without any chance of a career in later life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wohm mom. Guess what? We work for economic reasons too.

I'm a WOHM and I work because I enjoy my job, and the thought of being a SAHM makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

If you won the lottery you would still work at your job? Lol.

I am 10:27, and if I won the lottery, I wold still work. It might not be at my current job though. I actually have this planned out. I would manage the renovation of historical homes sort of like Nicole Curtis.

Well, Im a former SAHM that does not have to work (in fact, my DH prefers I not work, lol). But I really live my job. I am making a real difference in the world-- Im a high level policy decisionmaker for the large state I live in (not DC). I get to see my work affect millions of people a few months after I make the call. Amazing feeling. I love being a mom (and will always cherish my years at home). But, now Im happy to be able to contribute to the "greater good" and still be a good mom now that they're in school full time.

That said, the transition was rough-- first six months were hard on me. Both bec I missed my kids and had my insecurities about returning to work. But, now that I have my "groove back," I am in my elelment. I have two high level degrees - so I thrive at work (in a way that pickup/crafts/cooking/etc would never fulfill me).

Thank you for sharing this. I'm lucky to be in a situation where my spouses relocation here and salary bump is enough to cover daycare while I job hunt/return to work. This whole thing has been really stressful thus far because I don't want to waste this amazing opportunity to pick something that I love but I've also got some insecurities from staying home, (which was great but I def feel like I'm wasting my degrees.) Any advice?

New poster again, I think this poster does not really enjoy being a stay at home mom, as she specifically says that job left her with "some insecurities from staying home". She also specifically relishes the WOH possibility, as "this amazing opportunity to pick something that I love". And she says that her husband earns a healthy salary himself, with a "salary bump enough to cover daycare while I job hunt/return to work". So I really doubt that this poster is too offended by the post "raving" about "how great" it is to be a SAHM (yeah, right), since that is a job this poster does not desire to keep, and it sounds like her family is equally well off financially. Seriously, I do not understand why some posters think that ambitious mothers like this one, would feel bad about posts describing the benefits of being a SAHM. They don't want to be SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have stayed home for years raising our children, and I have truly enjoyed it. Many parents here have posted about the stresses and drawbacks of being a SAHP, but it is honestly the job I have a "passion" for.l

That said, my dear spouse agreed to set up a separate account, in my name, with half of the after-tax, after-expenses, post-retirement savings, and post-investment HHI. It is the surplus for my benefit, and though some parents might have drawn this down for frivolous, extra expenses, I have never touched it.

That account is now enough to retire on, were I never to return to work. In that sense, I am fortunate in that I really enjoy being a SAHP, and in that if I had never married my professional job would never in an entire career have paid enough that I could have saved as much in retirement for myself.

The man is the plan!

That plan, my dear, is one as old as woman herself.