Insensitive Drs at Childrens (overweight child)

[Anonymous]

I'm the one who brought up fat shaming and I am in no way promoting fat acceptance. OP's DD is losing weight. I'm not even sure that anything inappropriate happened at the hospital. I am referring to the folks who are attacking OP for her weight. And as someone who is close to several people who have struggled with life-threatening anorexia I am deeply offended by the pro-ana comparison. Saying that someone should not be attacked for their weight (and I would say the same thing about someone with anorexia -- you shouldn't try to shame such a person either) is not the same thing as romanticizing a serious medical condition.

[Anonymous]

OP, as a doctor I will say that you are being a bit immature.
A time is coming where doctors will be so PC that nothing, NOTHING, will get done because we afraid of hurting someone's feelings.

[Anonymous]

It's not abt being pc its about continuing to say what has already been acknowledged and a course I action is being taken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a doctor I will say that you are being a bit immature.
A time is coming where doctors will be so PC that nothing, NOTHING, will get done because we afraid of hurting someone's feelings.

As a doctor you have shitty bedside manner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a doctor I will say that you are being a bit immature.
A time is coming where doctors will be so PC that nothing, NOTHING, will get done because we afraid of hurting someone's feelings.

As a doctor you have shitty bedside manner

How do you know?
We are supposed to describe what we see on physical exam.
Read. IS the abdomen scaphoid, normal, or obese?
Is the abdomen firm, rigid, or soft?
It all matters, yes it does! Even fat and obesity matters. IT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL THIS CHILD EARLY if she does not get a handle on it. Oh, I forgot, if we don't talk about it, it will go away.
When the G-d d-am personal injury lawyers tell us that we did not do a complete physical exam, what do we say? "Um, I was afraid of hurting someone's feelings?"

THE SYSTEM HAS GONE MAD!

OP, best way for your child to lose weight, which she needs to do, is to eat LESS food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the one who brought up fat shaming and I am in no way promoting fat acceptance. OP's DD is losing weight. I'm not even sure that anything inappropriate happened at the hospital. I am referring to the folks who are attacking OP for her weight. And as someone who is close to several people who have struggled with life-threatening anorexia I am deeply offended by the pro-ana comparison. Saying that someone should not be attacked for their weight (and I would say the same thing about someone with anorexia -- you shouldn't try to shame such a person either) is not the same thing as romanticizing a serious medical condition.

In healthcare we don't care about shame or what it looks like on the outside. We just care about what the vessels look like under the microscope, and the bloodwork, and the wound healing and so on.
There is a disconnect between society and medicine. Society cares about looking good in a swim suit, we care about living longer through better health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, that people are attacking you and that this thread took such a turn for the worse.

I absolutely, 100% am appalled by the way the doctors have treated your daughter and I think their actions and some of the criticisms here illuminate just how horribly obese/overweight people are treated. Nobody should be made to feel embarrassed or shameful by going to the doctor. Do people really think that shaming a poor 16 yo girl (or her mother) is going to help them out?

Especially when OP's daughter has LOST 35lbs in 4 months? Let's stop admonishing OP for what happened in the past and offer support for a better future.

I am not the nurse that responded directly above this but I am also a nurse and I too feel the same way about the vents as she does. I guess it is hard for me to see standard medical practice (referrals, clinical language on assessment and checking for fit with equipment) as appalling and treating someone horribly. I don't see their intent being to shame.

If a 16 yr old walked in for a head injury and she was 100 pounds underweight, there would also be a medical process. Referrals would be offered, clinical language specific to size would be written and equipment would be adjusted. Even if the mother said, oh there is no need,she has gained 10 pounds in the last 3 months, the fact that she weighed 55 pounds at 5'4 would still be concerning.

I am not sure how the doctor would know about the recent weight loss. Unless it was with a hospital based program then it wouldn't be known. They would be dealing with the patient as they present.

I know people are very very sensitive about obesity and the doctor could have been more careful to be sensitive to that sensitivity but the fat they weren't has nothing to do with fear or hatred of obesity. Doctors are busy and get to the point about most things.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a doctor I will say that you are being a bit immature.
A time is coming where doctors will be so PC that nothing, NOTHING, will get done because we afraid of hurting someone's feelings.

As a doctor you have shitty bedside manner

How do you know?
We are supposed to describe what we see on physical exam.
Read. IS the abdomen scaphoid, normal, or obese?
Is the abdomen firm, rigid, or soft?
It all matters, yes it does! Even fat and obesity matters. IT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL THIS CHILD EARLY if she does not get a handle on it. Oh, I forgot, if we don't talk about it, it will go away.
When the G-d d-am personal injury lawyers tell us that we did not do a complete physical exam, what do we say? "Um, I was afraid of hurting someone's feelings?"

THE SYSTEM HAS GONE MAD!

OP, best way for your child to lose weight, which she needs to do, is to eat LESS food.

right, so this girl who has lost 35 in 4 months is not doing good enough so its so important to tell her to lose weight (which she is doing) or it will kill her. okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the one who brought up fat shaming and I am in no way promoting fat acceptance. OP's DD is losing weight. I'm not even sure that anything inappropriate happened at the hospital. I am referring to the folks who are attacking OP for her weight. And as someone who is close to several people who have struggled with life-threatening anorexia I am deeply offended by the pro-ana comparison. Saying that someone should not be attacked for their weight (and I would say the same thing about someone with anorexia -- you shouldn't try to shame such a person either) is not the same thing as romanticizing a serious medical condition.

In healthcare we don't care about shame or what it looks like on the outside. We just care about what the vessels look like under the microscope, and the bloodwork, and the wound healing and so on.
There is a disconnect between society and medicine. Society cares about looking good in a swim suit, we care about living longer through better health.

I am the PP you are responding to and I have fired doctors who think like you do, with glee. I am not my cells under a microscope. And I don't give a rat's ass what I look like in a bathing suit (nice jumping to conclusions about people). But I do care about a lot of other things that I want my doctors to recognize. I have personal habits that are vitally important to me -- running and eating a vegetarian diet -- and I want doctors who will recognize that I need to continue these things when the give me advice. I have feelings, and if a doctor makes me afraid or sad (both have happened) I cannot communicate with that doctor and therefore I can't receive good medical care. I could go on and on but I know that if a doctor can't recognize that I am a different person than the one sitting next to me in the waiting room, thats a shitty doctor.

And you are wrong about other "in healthcare." I've had cancer, I have several chronic medical conditions, and I have a lot of doctors. None of them have this ridiculous attitude. or at least the ones who did, i fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a doctor I will say that you are being a bit immature.
A time is coming where doctors will be so PC that nothing, NOTHING, will get done because we afraid of hurting someone's feelings.

As a doctor you have shitty bedside manner

How do you know?
We are supposed to describe what we see on physical exam.
Read. IS the abdomen scaphoid, normal, or obese?
Is the abdomen firm, rigid, or soft?
It all matters, yes it does! Even fat and obesity matters. IT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL THIS CHILD EARLY if she does not get a handle on it. Oh, I forgot, if we don't talk about it, it will go away.
When the G-d d-am personal injury lawyers tell us that we did not do a complete physical exam, what do we say? "Um, I was afraid of hurting someone's feelings?"

THE SYSTEM HAS GONE MAD!

OP, best way for your child to lose weight, which she needs to do, is to eat LESS food.

Wow, you may have an MD, but you are a serious asshole. This child has lost 35 pounds. Clearly the family HAS talked about it, believes it matters, and the child is dieting. (I disagree that dieting is all about eating less food. More important is eating the right foods. No one will keep weight off by starving themselves. Another sign that you are really a terrible doctor). If you are so bad at listening to your patients, if you regard them with such distain, if you don't care about their feelings (I will not pay a doctor to make me feel bad. It is not a necessary part of medical care and it shuts down necessary communication between the doctor and the patient -- something you clearly don't understand) you really are a crappy doctor, whatever your skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a doctor I will say that you are being a bit immature.
A time is coming where doctors will be so PC that nothing, NOTHING, will get done because we afraid of hurting someone's feelings.

Do us a favor and let us know which practice you are at. I don't ever want to waste my time with a medical professional who is as big of a dick as you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am the PP you are responding to and I have fired doctors who think like you do, with glee. I am not my cells under a microscope. And I don't give a rat's ass what I look like in a bathing suit (nice jumping to conclusions about people). But I do care about a lot of other things that I want my doctors to recognize. I have personal habits that are vitally important to me -- running and eating a vegetarian diet -- and I want doctors who will recognize that I need to continue these things when the give me advice. I have feelings, and if a doctor makes me afraid or sad (both have happened) I cannot communicate with that doctor and therefore I can't receive good medical care. I could go on and on but I know that if a doctor can't recognize that I am a different person than the one sitting next to me in the waiting room, thats a shitty doctor.

And you are wrong about other "in healthcare." I've had cancer, I have several chronic medical conditions, and I have a lot of doctors. None of them have this ridiculous attitude. or at least the ones who did, i fired.

Actually, you are wrong. They all feel like the PP stated because THAT is their job. Some of them just pretend otherwise to make you feel better about yourself. If you need someone to take care of how you feel about yourself then you need a therapist. If you need someone with the technical skill and know-how to keep your body healthy then you need a medical doctor.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't know if you're still reading, because this thread is a little wild, but FWIW I was overweight as a teen and in my 20s, and I couldn't lose weight successfully. I badly wanted to, and I would ask for help, and doctors would say, eat less and exercise more! Which is COMPLETELY accurate, except that is a million times easier said than done, and I didn't know what I SHOULD be eating instead of the crap I was eating. One nice doctor referred me to a nutritionist, whose main suggestion was that I should replace ground beef in my spaghetti sauce with texturixed vegetable protein. (Seriously? That's going to make the difference?)

It sounds like your daughter is doing great, BUT if she wants/needs more support and guidance sometime, you might look into Weight Watchers for her, and go with her (if she wants) to the meetings. This was literally the first time in my life that I was able to practice accurate portion sizing and understand the relative nutrition/calories of various foods. It pretty much taught me how to eat. I still struggle, but I'm doing much better and it's easier to make choices now.

Good for her losing 35 lbs so far. That's a GREAT achievement and I hope she's proud of herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am the PP you are responding to and I have fired doctors who think like you do, with glee. I am not my cells under a microscope. And I don't give a rat's ass what I look like in a bathing suit (nice jumping to conclusions about people). But I do care about a lot of other things that I want my doctors to recognize. I have personal habits that are vitally important to me -- running and eating a vegetarian diet -- and I want doctors who will recognize that I need to continue these things when the give me advice. I have feelings, and if a doctor makes me afraid or sad (both have happened) I cannot communicate with that doctor and therefore I can't receive good medical care. I could go on and on but I know that if a doctor can't recognize that I am a different person than the one sitting next to me in the waiting room, thats a shitty doctor.

And you are wrong about other "in healthcare." I've had cancer, I have several chronic medical conditions, and I have a lot of doctors. None of them have this ridiculous attitude. or at least the ones who did, i fired.

Actually, you are wrong. They all feel like the PP stated because THAT is their job. Some of them just pretend otherwise to make you feel better about yourself. If you need someone to take care of how you feel about yourself then you need a therapist. If you need someone with the technical skill and know-how to keep your body healthy then you need a medical doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Wow, you may have an MD, but you are a serious asshole. This child has lost 35 pounds. Clearly the family HAS talked about it, believes it matters, and the child is dieting. (I disagree that dieting is all about eating less food. More important is eating the right foods. No one will keep weight off by starving themselves. Another sign that you are really a terrible doctor). If you are so bad at listening to your patients, if you regard them with such distain, if you don't care about their feelings (I will not pay a doctor to make me feel bad. It is not a necessary part of medical care and it shuts down necessary communication between the doctor and the patient -- something you clearly don't understand) you really are a crappy doctor, whatever your skills.

???