Do you agree or disagree with this: Parents should pay for undergrad tuition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will help out but I will not pay the full ride.

They will have to get student loans. I paid my way through college and it made me really think about how I spent my hours on the weekends while my friends were out every night with $50 bar tabs I was (in addition to my real job) working for a caterer to help pay off student loans.

I will also not pay for a car, phone, cable, or insurance.

I have boys so I will give them a certain amount of money when they get married to do with as they will - rehersal dinner or down payment on a house - up to them.

I'm buying a car! Better a boring but safe Honda Accord than some 20 year old death trap my kid might be able to purchase.

If they don't have student loans they will buy a sports car - or trade the one in you got and upgrade to a sports car. I drove a reliable boring car because I paid for it myself.

What the heck are you talking about? Are you equating no debt with financial irresponsibility?

My five siblings and I graduated from expensive name-brand schools with no student debt, thanks to my mother's hard work. (She wore the same polyester pants, and drank milk made from powder for years to make that happen.) We are all super-responsible adults, financially conservative. I didn't even own a car until I was almost 30 (and I paid cash for it with savings then). Heck, I earn six figures now, but my kids' clothing all comes from thrift shops.

You don't know what you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I agree. If you choose to have children, it's your responsibility to get them through college.

Thank you! Why is this so hard to understand?

Because you will raise spoiled entitled brats that did not have to work hard for everything they have.

On the contrary. My parents saved assidulously for college. All while growing up, whenever we asked, "Why can't we go to Europe like other families? Why can't we go to Disney Land like other families?" etc etc etc, my parents always said, "Because we are saving for college." We worked all throughout highschool and college unlike the kids of these other families, and we then went to good college and worked hard, b/c my parents had demonstrated over and over again throughout our life, that college was more important than any transient vacation or "want".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS's tuition bill with all fees included for the 2012-13 year is $66,000.

I just looked up the 20 most expensive colleges. Sarah Lawrence is #1 at $59,170 and NYU is #2 at $56,787. Perhaps your DS is skimming some money off the top.

A lot of those statistics don't include everything. Some of the lists I've seen don't include full room and board. Then-- of course have you seen how much textbooks and other expenses cost---they are jacked up like health care!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. To whomever said getting married = no student loans.

Me: $111K
DH: $108K

That was our student debt each the day we got married.

Note to self: tell my children to ask about student loan debt before committing to marriage.

Holy sh*t-- I wouldn't have married your a**. DH was insistent on starting marriage with no debt. I had none since I was lucky enough to have parents pay for undergrad and a scholarship to grad school. He had some from a private well-regarded university---but worked like a dog and had them paid off by 26/27.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will help out but I will not pay the full ride.

They will have to get student loans. I paid my way through college and it made me really think about how I spent my hours on the weekends while my friends were out every night with $50 bar tabs I was (in addition to my real job) working for a caterer to help pay off student loans.

I will also not pay for a car, phone, cable, or insurance.

I have boys so I will give them a certain amount of money when they get married to do with as they will - rehersal dinner or down payment on a house - up to them.

Am i reading this correctly? You will give them a lump sum for a rehearsal dinner or a down payment for a house, but not for college? I wonder how they'll make the house payments and student loan payments.

You clearly missed the point. I will give them money when they get married as a gift (not $100K more like $10K) - I will not dictate how they spend it. If they are getting married I suspect they don't have student loans anymore. If they use it for a rehersal party I will be disappointed.

This is hilarious - do you really think that your kids (who you say will have to take out student loans to pay for college) will no longer have student loans at the time they get married?

Have you read posts on this board about crippling student debt? Debt that stands in the way of buying a house, having a child, paying for childcare?

Have you been paying any attention at all?

I paid my student loans off before I got married. I waited until I was finacially stable. I did not buy a fancy car. I lived at home and paid the rent there (which sucked). I worked a 2nd job. I did not go to bars and pay $50 bar tabs that I can't even image what they are now. Yes if my kids work, buckle down - I think they will be able to pay their student loans off before they are 30 with a little help - not me paying the full tab.

[Anonymous]

I paid off my student loans before we got married too. I worked two jobs and sold my car to make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. To whomever said getting married = no student loans.

Me: $111K
DH: $108K

That was our student debt each the day we got married.

Note to self: tell my children to ask about student loan debt before committing to marriage.

Holy sh*t-- I wouldn't have married your a**. DH was insistent on starting marriage with no debt. I had none since I was lucky enough to have parents pay for undergrad and a scholarship to grad school. He had some from a private well-regarded university---but worked like a dog and had them paid off by 26/27.

I wouldn't have married you either. 26/27 please - wait until you don't have 200K in debt. Really - you couldn't have just buckled down the next 3 years and paid that off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Assuming you have means and it is not a complete struggle, parents should pay for their kids undergrad tuition and room and board. That is part of the deal in 2012. That is, saving for your kids college should be a lower priority than your mortgage, 401K and your normal quality-of-life (vacations, etc.). But I think it should be ahead of getting a nicer car and/or a bigger house.

2. The college "experience" is important. The people who do well in life are the ones who are well adjusted with good social skills and who get along with other people. Plus the contacts and friends you make in college are huge for future success.
3. The parent owes it to their kids to give them advice (this major is better than that major, etc.), but it is not my choice as to their major or college (assuming the school is within my budget). Now there are some limits. I am not going to pay for an unaccredited school and I'd probably say it has to be within X hours of home (say 4-5 hours).

um really?? bwahahahhahaha

You can pick up social skills at places besides frat parties.

you don't think social skills are the most important factor in success? Of course they are. First, you have to have the credentials. But once you get in the door, it is personality.

[Anonymous]

Yes, DH and I spoke about student loan debt (and all debt) before marriage b/c it was that important to us. Sh!t, don't any of you read Michelle Singletary? You gots to start reading her columns, people!

[Anonymous]

I got married a few weeks after I graduated from grad school. DH had been out a year at that point. Yes we had student loans but we paid them off in a few years. I had more loans but also made 2x the income so it worked out fine. I worked before I went to grad school so if I had waited until I'd worked a few years, gone to school AND paid off my loans I'd have had to spend all my money on fertility treatments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will help out but I will not pay the full ride.

They will have to get student loans. I paid my way through college and it made me really think about how I spent my hours on the weekends while my friends were out every night with $50 bar tabs I was (in addition to my real job) working for a caterer to help pay off student loans.

I will also not pay for a car, phone, cable, or insurance.

I have boys so I will give them a certain amount of money when they get married to do with as they will - rehersal dinner or down payment on a house - up to them.

Am i reading this correctly? You will give them a lump sum for a rehearsal dinner or a down payment for a house, but not for college? I wonder how they'll make the house payments and student loan payments.

You clearly missed the point. I will give them money when they get married as a gift (not $100K more like $10K) - I will not dictate how they spend it. If they are getting married I suspect they don't have student loans anymore. If they use it for a rehersal party I will be disappointed.

This is hilarious - do you really think that your kids (who you say will have to take out student loans to pay for college) will no longer have student loans at the time they get married?

Have you read posts on this board about crippling student debt? Debt that stands in the way of buying a house, having a child, paying for childcare?

Have you been paying any attention at all?

I paid my student loans off before I got married. I waited until I was finacially stable. I did not buy a fancy car. I lived at home and paid the rent there (which sucked). I worked a 2nd job. I did not go to bars and pay $50 bar tabs that I can't even image what they are now. Yes if my kids work, buckle down - I think they will be able to pay their student loans off before they are 30 with a little help - not me paying the full tab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will help out but I will not pay the full ride.

They will have to get student loans. I paid my way through college and it made me really think about how I spent my hours on the weekends while my friends were out every night with $50 bar tabs I was (in addition to my real job) working for a caterer to help pay off student loans.

I will also not pay for a car, phone, cable, or insurance.

I have boys so I will give them a certain amount of money when they get married to do with as they will - rehersal dinner or down payment on a house - up to them.

Am i reading this correctly? You will give them a lump sum for a rehearsal dinner or a down payment for a house, but not for college? I wonder how they'll make the house payments and student loan payments.

You clearly missed the point. I will give them money when they get married as a gift (not $100K more like $10K) - I will not dictate how they spend it. If they are getting married I suspect they don't have student loans anymore. If they use it for a rehersal party I will be disappointed.

This is hilarious - do you really think that your kids (who you say will have to take out student loans to pay for college) will no longer have student loans at the time they get married?

Have you read posts on this board about crippling student debt? Debt that stands in the way of buying a house, having a child, paying for childcare?

Have you been paying any attention at all?

I paid my student loans off before I got married. I waited until I was finacially stable. I did not buy a fancy car. I lived at home and paid the rent there (which sucked). I worked a 2nd job. I did not go to bars and pay $50 bar tabs that I can't even image what they are now. Yes if my kids work, buckle down - I think they will be able to pay their student loans off before they are 30 with a little help - not me paying the full tab.

That's nice that you could do that. I didn't pay mine off before marrying because they were negligible (less than $5K at that point) and the interest rate was super-low. I think my payment was under $200/month.

The economics of student loans, college tuitions, and jobs have changed dramatically since you were in your 20's. Dramatically. You are making a lot of assumptions here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will help out but I will not pay the full ride.

They will have to get student loans. I paid my way through college and it made me really think about how I spent my hours on the weekends while my friends were out every night with $50 bar tabs I was (in addition to my real job) working for a caterer to help pay off student loans.

I will also not pay for a car, phone, cable, or insurance.

I have boys so I will give them a certain amount of money when they get married to do with as they will - rehersal dinner or down payment on a house - up to them.

Am i reading this correctly? You will give them a lump sum for a rehearsal dinner or a down payment for a house, but not for college? I wonder how they'll make the house payments and student loan payments.

You clearly missed the point. I will give them money when they get married as a gift (not $100K more like $10K) - I will not dictate how they spend it. If they are getting married I suspect they don't have student loans anymore. If they use it for a rehersal party I will be disappointed.

This is hilarious - do you really think that your kids (who you say will have to take out student loans to pay for college) will no longer have student loans at the time they get married?

Have you read posts on this board about crippling student debt? Debt that stands in the way of buying a house, having a child, paying for childcare?

Have you been paying any attention at all?

I paid my student loans off before I got married. I waited until I was finacially stable. I did not buy a fancy car. I lived at home and paid the rent there (which sucked). I worked a 2nd job. I did not go to bars and pay $50 bar tabs that I can't even image what they are now. Yes if my kids work, buckle down - I think they will be able to pay their student loans off before they are 30 with a little help - not me paying the full tab.

One of the many reasons I will do everything in my power to get my kids through college with zero debt is that I do not want student debt to hamper/limit them during a time in their lives when they are exploring options. I want them to be free to live abroad (as I did), take piddly-pay, socially important jobs that are interesting to them, and yes, marry if they wish, without student debt standing in the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will help out but I will not pay the full ride.

They will have to get student loans. I paid my way through college and it made me really think about how I spent my hours on the weekends while my friends were out every night with $50 bar tabs I was (in addition to my real job) working for a caterer to help pay off student loans.

I will also not pay for a car, phone, cable, or insurance.

I have boys so I will give them a certain amount of money when they get married to do with as they will - rehersal dinner or down payment on a house - up to them.

Am i reading this correctly? You will give them a lump sum for a rehearsal dinner or a down payment for a house, but not for college? I wonder how they'll make the house payments and student loan payments.

You clearly missed the point. I will give them money when they get married as a gift (not $100K more like $10K) - I will not dictate how they spend it. If they are getting married I suspect they don't have student loans anymore. If they use it for a rehersal party I will be disappointed.

This is hilarious - do you really think that your kids (who you say will have to take out student loans to pay for college) will no longer have student loans at the time they get married?

Have you read posts on this board about crippling student debt? Debt that stands in the way of buying a house, having a child, paying for childcare?

Have you been paying any attention at all?

I paid my student loans off before I got married. I waited until I was finacially stable. I did not buy a fancy car. I lived at home and paid the rent there (which sucked). I worked a 2nd job. I did not go to bars and pay $50 bar tabs that I can't even image what they are now. Yes if my kids work, buckle down - I think they will be able to pay their student loans off before they are 30 with a little help - not me paying the full tab.

One of the many reasons I will do everything in my power to get my kids through college with zero debt is that I do not want student debt to hamper/limit them during a time in their lives when they are exploring options. I want them to be free to live abroad (as I did), take piddly-pay, socially important jobs that are interesting to them, and yes, marry if they wish, without student debt standing in the way.

This is what my parents always said too, and I am so grateful for it.

[Anonymous]

I disagree.

This concept is quite new, and has contributed to the college bubble. We have always been frank with our children that we cannot afford to help them, so their decisions will include considerations of cost. And we eternally emphasize that they are to avoid debt strenuously.

This is the message I heard, my parents heard, my grandparents heard. Almost everyone in my large, extended family figured out a way.

Our children will, too. They start taking AP exams and dual enrollment courses as soon as they hit high school. There are lots of creative options, including the military.