Cheap and stingy parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An elderly acquaintance of ours passed away. She always dressed in clothes that were repaired multiple times.
In her closet the family found brand new high end purses still in the box and in original packaging, now obviously a highly sought after vintage item.
She had all this and had refused to use them. Along with some other really good high end items and clothing.
Yet she had never worn w

My parents were incredibly frugal. When my mom had to downsize I found a full set of beautiful baccarat wine and rocks glasses in their buffet, I’d never seen them before. Turns out my parents had received them as wedding gifts, used them once and accidentally chipped a glass so they were never used again. Something about that generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An elderly acquaintance of ours passed away. She always dressed in clothes that were repaired multiple times.
In her closet the family found brand new high end purses still in the box and in original packaging, now obviously a highly sought after vintage item.
She had all this and had refused to use them. Along with some other really good high end items and clothing.
Yet she had never worn w

My parents were incredibly frugal. When my mom had to downsize I found a full set of beautiful baccarat wine and rocks glasses in their buffet, I’d never seen them before. Turns out my parents had received them as wedding gifts, used them once and accidentally chipped a glass so they were never used again. Something about that generation.

My Mom had some things like that, also fancy soaps or food in the cabinets. She was saving them for special occasions that would never happen or she'd forget she even had it. I think it was because she grew up very poor so fancy things were meant to be saved and carefully used.

My spouse and I have a phrase to call each other on that mindset: "is it a museum piece?" that reminds us that things are meant to be used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They get to live their own lives. I think all of my Silent Generation family members live this way. They saved everything. In my opinion, people today could learn at lot from this perspective.

Completely agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can look at this a couple of different ways. I think you have to take a generous view and think he was more concerned with making sure that his money would last his whole life and his wife would not want for anything after he passed than that he was cheap or stingy. Many older people keep using old appliances that aren't functioning at top performance because using something until it actually dies was just the way things went.

And those appliances will last longer than a new one purchased today, even if not at top performance.

Oh BS.

It's absolutely true.

They may look ugly (hello mustard yellow and harvest rust) but the old appliances are much better quality and do a much better job than modern appliances which are designed to be thrown away after a few years.

The old appliances are also much easier and cheaper to repair than modern appliances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just a vent to be honest.

the In-Laws live in a modest 55+ community and it took a lot of effort to get them to move about 5 years ago. It was great.
the old house was run down and needed to be updated.

The lived conservatively, nice cars but 10 years old, vacations but nothing flashy. we always worried that they would run out of money.
They wouldn't get a new dishwasher even though the last one was a POS. Mostly due to the FIL who ran the house.

FIL passes away and we find out they have $7mm investment account.

Really wish they were able to enjoy the $$ and use the money to make their lives easier - getting a cleaning lady, other help around the house, nicer meals out.

hopefully the MIL decides to live life a bit easier but frugality is hard wired into their brains.

My 80 year old parents are like this, they have $15M+ and my mom won’t splurge for leather seats in her Honda crv. And now they don’t feel good enough to travel but they won’t hire someone to come into their house to help them with personal training, meals, etc. It’s really quite sad in my opinion. The frugality runs very deep for them. Although they do pay for all grandkids private schools but I do wish they’d live a little and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

I hate leather seats. Why don't you grow up and pay for your kids private schools if its important to you .

It’s likely a tax planning strategy for her parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws will balk at going to a restaurant where the entrees are $28 versus $22, but they spend $$$ on flashy jewelry, Lexuses, and business class. Clothing is also from Macy's on sale. They'll cruise to Europe and then eat at McDonald's.

I don't understand the priorities.

IMHO this is way worse than paying for grandkids’ schooling or leaving their kids a nice inheritance.

I wrote the prior post, and it has nothing to do with inheritance. It just has to do with my in-laws being willing to spend thousands on gaudy jewelry and nice cars and then choosing chain restaurants because more upscale ones are "too expensive."

And I wrote the comment. Basically I agree with you, it’s stingy and ridiculous unlike the parents who pay for their grandkids or leave the money to their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws will balk at going to a restaurant where the entrees are $28 versus $22, but they spend $$$ on flashy jewelry, Lexuses, and business class. Clothing is also from Macy's on sale. They'll cruise to Europe and then eat at McDonald's.

I don't understand the priorities.

IMHO this is way worse than paying for grandkids’ schooling or leaving their kids a nice inheritance.

Earn your own money and pay for your own kids school. Shame on you to expect "a nice inheritance".

I am not one of the prior posters and my parents are poor. I have no skin in the game. I just think it’s ridiculous to waste money on cars and jewelry when old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws will balk at going to a restaurant where the entrees are $28 versus $22, but they spend $$$ on flashy jewelry, Lexuses, and business class. Clothing is also from Macy's on sale. They'll cruise to Europe and then eat at McDonald's.

I don't understand the priorities.

IMHO this is way worse than paying for grandkids’ schooling or leaving their kids a nice inheritance.

I wrote the prior post, and it has nothing to do with inheritance. It just has to do with my in-laws being willing to spend thousands on gaudy jewelry and nice cars and then choosing chain restaurants because more upscale ones are "too expensive."

It’s possible they’re just not that into what they think of as “fancy food.” My partner and I go to Europe and love to buy food in local grocery stores to have picnics either in parks or even our hotel room. We much prefer simple foods to restaurant dinners.

But not chain restaurants in the U.S.
European grocery store food might be better than some higher scale restaurants in the US

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws will balk at going to a restaurant where the entrees are $28 versus $22, but they spend $$$ on flashy jewelry, Lexuses, and business class. Clothing is also from Macy's on sale. They'll cruise to Europe and then eat at McDonald's.

I don't understand the priorities.

IMHO this is way worse than paying for grandkids’ schooling or leaving their kids a nice inheritance.

I wrote the prior post, and it has nothing to do with inheritance. It just has to do with my in-laws being willing to spend thousands on gaudy jewelry and nice cars and then choosing chain restaurants because more upscale ones are "too expensive."

It’s possible they’re just not that into what they think of as “fancy food.” My partner and I go to Europe and love to buy food in local grocery stores to have picnics either in parks or even our hotel room. We much prefer simple foods to restaurant dinners.

But not chain restaurants in the U.S.
European grocery store food might be better than some higher scale restaurants in the US

And apparently all the Euro world cup fans are going crazy over ranch dressing and gas station brisket