Eric Dane, dead at 53

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


Ours sure didn't. My mom asked and was swiftly told that was illegal.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is an essay by Rebecca published on December 29, 2025. It is long and worth reading. She talks about their complicated relationship, how they have handled things with their daughters, the reality of managing Eric's care, and she really paints a picture of their reality.

https://archive.ph/oOgsX


She wanted at home 7x24 nursing care. If that’s what he needed why wasn’t he placed in a nursing home? Expensive but cheaper than at home care. Or why not placed in hospice? Most hospice is no cost to the patient or family.


Uhhhh maybe he wanted to be home?


Uhhhh if you can afford it fine, then don’t ask for money.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is an essay by Rebecca published on December 29, 2025. It is long and worth reading. She talks about their complicated relationship, how they have handled things with their daughters, the reality of managing Eric's care, and she really paints a picture of their reality.

https://archive.ph/oOgsX


She wanted at home 7x24 nursing care. If that’s what he needed why wasn’t he placed in a nursing home? Expensive but cheaper than at home care. Or why not placed in hospice? Most hospice is no cost to the patient or family.


People with ALS do not go on ventilators so they can have the quality of life you have in a nursing home. They want to be with loved ones—often, seeing their own kids grow up.

I am not sure hospice would take a patient being actively ventilated, either. They might take someone who had decided to shut the vent off (which a person of sound mind, as Dane was, would have had every right to do—just as it seems he got to turn down the vent in the first place).

The bottom line is that the funding source for both options you mention is Medicaid, and there were too many assets/too much income, too proximate to the need for care, for them to qualify for it.


Hospice does not require Medicaid. And it sounds like Joe wasn’t on a ventilator.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


My in-law I think it was offered to for their husband but she was very religious and couldn’t do it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


My limited experience with hospice is that they can administer morphine within the parameters of the prescription, which can vary a bit depending on symptom management needs.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


Ours sure didn't. My mom asked and was swiftly told that was illegal.


My friend's husband had pancreatic cancer, and he was home with hospice care. When the pain became unbearable, the hospice nurse instructed my friend on how much morphine to administer (but the nurse didn't do it herself).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


Ours sure didn't. My mom asked and was swiftly told that was illegal.


My friend's husband had pancreatic cancer, and he was home with hospice care. When the pain became unbearable, the hospice nurse instructed my friend on how much morphine to administer (but the nurse didn't do it herself).


This was our experience as well.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


Ours sure didn't. My mom asked and was swiftly told that was illegal.


My friend's husband had pancreatic cancer, and he was home with hospice care. When the pain became unbearable, the hospice nurse instructed my friend on how much morphine to administer (but the nurse didn't do it herself).


This was our experience as well.


Back in the 70’s when my mom’s BF had cancer that went to the brain and in incredible pain she was being given morphine at home. The nurse told my mom if she gave too much it would be seen as an accident. After that my mom had to check it 2-3 times before giving it to her to make sure she didn’t mistakenly give her too much.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


Ours sure didn't. My mom asked and was swiftly told that was illegal.


My friend's husband had pancreatic cancer, and he was home with hospice care. When the pain became unbearable, the hospice nurse instructed my friend on how much morphine to administer (but the nurse didn't do it herself).


My parent had pancreatic cancer. They were on a fentanyl patch, this was only a few months ago. They increased the patch dosage but that’s about it and no they wouldn’t just give them enough to make it end when asked.
Anonymous
Watched his interview on Netflix and totally changed my opinion of him for the better. Got dealt a tough hand.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


Ours sure didn't. My mom asked and was swiftly told that was illegal.


My friend's husband had pancreatic cancer, and he was home with hospice care. When the pain became unbearable, the hospice nurse instructed my friend on how much morphine to administer (but the nurse didn't do it herself).


This was our experience as well.


But is there an investigation into the caregiver? Would the caregiver get in trouble for doing this?

This story of Eric Dane has me thinking I would want an out like this (ie at home
hospice morphine) in similar circumstances.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


Ours sure didn't. My mom asked and was swiftly told that was illegal.


My friend's husband had pancreatic cancer, and he was home with hospice care. When the pain became unbearable, the hospice nurse instructed my friend on how much morphine to administer (but the nurse didn't do it herself).


This was our experience as well.


But is there an investigation into the caregiver? Would the caregiver get in trouble for doing this?

This story of Eric Dane has me thinking I would want an out like this (ie at home
hospice morphine) in similar circumstances.


I mean, who would investigate? Keep in mind that a person placed on hospice is terribly sick and will die. Very few "fail hospice".
Anonymous
When my spouse was dying at home, Hospice was required to check the amount of morphine every day. When he died, they checked to see what was left. You can get in trouble if you overdose someone. Sadly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only personal experience with ALS was my neighbor's husband being diagnosed. Our kids had grown up together in the same schools, same school bus etc.

When he reached the point of having a hospital bed in the day room and daily hospice, my friend told me he asked to be let go. She told me he wanted to go. "I can't even scratch my own nose" was something she told me he murmured.

So they both quietly told hospice and they upped his morphine and then he was gone.

Her mother moved in and her sons have now never left, I took 2 of her cats that she couldn't manage anymore (having to go back to work) who fought with her mother's little dog.

It was a while ago now, 2018, but I'm now older than when he passed in hospice and always think why do some evil people stay forever and good people who have so many people love them have to leave so soon.


That sounds like assisted dying. Will hospice do that?


Ours sure didn't. My mom asked and was swiftly told that was illegal.


My friend's husband had pancreatic cancer, and he was home with hospice care. When the pain became unbearable, the hospice nurse instructed my friend on how much morphine to administer (but the nurse didn't do it herself).


This was our experience as well.


But is there an investigation into the caregiver? Would the caregiver get in trouble for doing this?

This story of Eric Dane has me thinking I would want an out like this (ie at home
hospice morphine) in similar circumstances.


It is not “assisted dying”. It is something called “terminal sedation”. The goal of the morphine doses is not death; it is the elimination of air hunger and related anxiety.

The biomedical ethics principle of double effect applies, and this is a place where the law has recognized it.
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