If you SAH or work very part time…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really gross the way so many of you reduce women to the household labor they supply.

+1

Did the DH not do his own laundry before he got married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happy to turn on the machine or switch from washer to dryer, but he has to sort, fold, put away. I SAH to provide child care and do many things for the family while I’m also caring for the kids, but that doesn’t mean he can do nothing at home, the bare minimum is taking care of his own stuff.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I do his laundry. He also piles his dirty clothes on the floor instead of the hamper. But he earns the money that keeps the family in a very comfortable life so that’s me playing my part in keeping him comfortable too.

It would be hard for me to have self-respect in that scenario. Does he leave messes at work for people to clean up?

Fortunately I don’t glean my self respect from the opinions of others. He has provided my family with a great life and considering this is his only few flaw I know when to pick my battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really gross the way so many of you reduce women to the household labor they supply.

It's not a woman thing. I'm the wife and when my DH was unemployed and slowly looking you'd better believe I expected him to step up to the plate with household responsibilities. I'm working 70 hrs a week to keep us afloat, we no longer have cleaners, it's irresponsible to order out too much, etc. Not that I did NOTHING, but if I came home after 2 hrs commute and he thought it was time for me to do laundry and dishes that would have been totally unacceptable.

Did you also put three outfits plus bath towel per day in the hamper for him to launder? Because that’s the actual situation under discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I do all the family laundry. I feel like it's more efficient that way and uses less water/energy. I also put away my husband's laundry, along with mine, but have the kids do their own.TBH, I feel like it's part of being a SAH parent.

Agreed. I'd feel the same about most things that "othered" DH. Like it wouldn't be acceptable to make food for me, the kids and then leave DH to cook for himself. I dont understand the point. It's the "job" of the SAH spouse to take care of the home. Laundry, cooking, cleaning is all part of that.

I make lunch for me and the kids and leave poor DH to fend for himself most days.
Sometimes I make him breakfast. I really only regularly make him dinner.

So he pay the mortgage, utilities, car payment, retirement funds, vacations, school/kid activities and the food, and you won't even throw an egg in a pan for him? Yikes. Some of these men could majorly level up if they knew how lazy their wives are.

I don't know. My grandmother told me men only care about sex and food, and she may have had a point. If OP is attractive to her husband, they have good sex, and she makes him a nice dinner most nights, then he's probably content.

+1

The women responding with all the shit *they* think that SAHMs (or housewives) *should* be responsible for have no clue.

If your husband seems overly concerned about how much money you make or how clean your house is every day, it is a clear sign that you are some combination of unattractive/unpleasant.

But OP’s husband does want his laundry done. It’s right there in the OP.

And what does that tell you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really gross the way so many of you reduce women to the household labor they supply.

It's not a woman thing. I'm the wife and when my DH was unemployed and slowly looking you'd better believe I expected him to step up to the plate with household responsibilities. I'm working 70 hrs a week to keep us afloat, we no longer have cleaners, it's irresponsible to order out too much, etc. Not that I did NOTHING, but if I came home after 2 hrs commute and he thought it was time for me to do laundry and dishes that would have been totally unacceptable.

I totally agree with this. How hard is it to turn on the washing machine, put it in the dryer and fold clothes. When DH was a SAHD, I fully expected him to do the laundry. Neither of us ever questioned it or saw it as an issue. I would have been shocked to come home and see my washing not done while he did his and the kids.

OP here. I guess the fact that it’s pretty easy is the reason I think it makes sense for him to have this chore.
It’s not time specific, doesn’t have to be done daily, and is not that hard. I don’t ask him to cook or mow the lawn or do dishes or run errands or drive the kids to their stuff. He has most weekends off plus occasional days during the week, and I do my best to make sure the washer is empty and available on those days.

This seems like a totally reasonable thing for me to ask him to do.

At this point, it seems like you are just being passive aggressive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I do his laundry. He also piles his dirty clothes on the floor instead of the hamper. But he earns the money that keeps the family in a very comfortable life so that’s me playing my part in keeping him comfortable too.

It would be hard for me to have self-respect in that scenario. Does he leave messes at work for people to clean up?

Fortunately I don’t glean my self respect from the opinions of others. He has provided my family with a great life and considering this is his only few flaw I know when to pick my battles.

But at the same time, you are on a message board asking for the opinions of others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy to turn on the machine or switch from washer to dryer, but he has to sort, fold, put away. I SAH to provide child care and do many things for the family while I’m also caring for the kids, but that doesn’t mean he can do nothing at home, the bare minimum is taking care of his own stuff.

This is so weird to me. Kids are either in school or the age to still have an afternoon nap. To stay home and not do laundry seems so lazy. I would need chores to fill my time.

Sounds like you don’t stay home and therefore have no clue what the hell you’re talking about. Pretty typical DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Just because you stay at home does not mean that you are required or “should” do your husband’s laundry!!

He sounds so entitled in my opinion!

[Anonymous]

I would do his laundry, but I live abroad and have a cleaning person that does it. I wouldn't exclude his though! I do make him put it away and do his own packing.