61% of single women in America are not looking to get into a new relationship compared to 38% of men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Very few people saying it actually believe it. It’s just vital to them to always— always— blame women. You see it pretty blatantly in the anti-abortion “pro-life”’lunatics.

No way. Some women just choose badly. I predicted a best friend's divorce before she even married. They were married less than 2 years. He never graduated from college, barely had a career, and was going nowhere. She tried to get him to finish college, filled out his applications to get him re-enrolled, then finally gave up and divorced him. She had to pay him alimony. So, they broke up because he was a broke barely employed loser. This was well known before they got married. She didn't want to talk about it.

So we can agree it would have been better for her not to marry the loser and to have pursued motherhood on her own.

There are plenty of wholly marriageable men out there I don’t know why anyone thinks people should be enthusiastic about wrecking their lives with them, and yet somehow it’s surprising or upsetting that women prefer to remain single than pay alimony to an unemployed loser?

Why pursue motherhood on her own? It's not everyone dream to be a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Please. So many women on here complaining that they found out after marriage and their kids were diagnosed with autism that gee whiz! Husband has autism too. How do you not notice this for years? Stop being so desperate to marry the first guy who asks.

But here you are on a thread complaining about how women aren’t interested in marrying. Pick a lane.

Not me. I'm not complaining. I'm saying being a SMBC by choice is a bad idea. A good idea is to not marry, live a fulfilling life being the fun aunt if you want, travel, and be fabulous. But some are acting like kids are a must. Not true at all.

Being a single mother by choice has a much lower incidence of genetic or heritable disorders than your above example, though, so if your cautionary tale is “don’t marry unsuitable men” you’re really making a good case for “use very high quality sperm”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Very few people saying it actually believe it. It’s just vital to them to always— always— blame women. You see it pretty blatantly in the anti-abortion “pro-life”’lunatics.

No way. Some women just choose badly. I predicted a best friend's divorce before she even married. They were married less than 2 years. He never graduated from college, barely had a career, and was going nowhere. She tried to get him to finish college, filled out his applications to get him re-enrolled, then finally gave up and divorced him. She had to pay him alimony. So, they broke up because he was a broke barely employed loser. This was well known before they got married. She didn't want to talk about it.

So we can agree it would have been better for her not to marry the loser and to have pursued motherhood on her own.

There are plenty of wholly marriageable men out there I don’t know why anyone thinks people should be enthusiastic about wrecking their lives with them, and yet somehow it’s surprising or upsetting that women prefer to remain single than pay alimony to an unemployed loser?

Why pursue motherhood on her own? It's not everyone dream to be a mother.

^ to add I never said my friend had kids with the loser. She didn't. She went on to marry someone else, had kids and is still happily married. The choices aren't only divorced mother or SMBC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Very few people saying it actually believe it. It’s just vital to them to always— always— blame women. You see it pretty blatantly in the anti-abortion “pro-life”’lunatics.

No way. Some women just choose badly. I predicted a best friend's divorce before she even married. They were married less than 2 years. He never graduated from college, barely had a career, and was going nowhere. She tried to get him to finish college, filled out his applications to get him re-enrolled, then finally gave up and divorced him. She had to pay him alimony. So, they broke up because he was a broke barely employed loser. This was well known before they got married. She didn't want to talk about it.

So we can agree it would have been better for her not to marry the loser and to have pursued motherhood on her own.

There are plenty of wholly marriageable men out there I don’t know why anyone thinks people should be enthusiastic about wrecking their lives with them, and yet somehow it’s surprising or upsetting that women prefer to remain single than pay alimony to an unemployed loser?

Why pursue motherhood on her own? It's not everyone dream to be a mother.

Pursue motherhood on her own if it’s what she wants. Remain single and childless if it’s what she wants. The “you lose” scenario is having children with an unsuitable man and then being trapped for at least 18 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Please. So many women on here complaining that they found out after marriage and their kids were diagnosed with autism that gee whiz! Husband has autism too. How do you not notice this for years? Stop being so desperate to marry the first guy who asks.

But here you are on a thread complaining about how women aren’t interested in marrying. Pick a lane.

Not me. I'm not complaining. I'm saying being a SMBC by choice is a bad idea. A good idea is to not marry, live a fulfilling life being the fun aunt if you want, travel, and be fabulous. But some are acting like kids are a must. Not true at all.

Being a single mother by choice has a much lower incidence of genetic or heritable disorders than your above example, though, so if your cautionary tale is “don’t marry unsuitable men” you’re really making a good case for “use very high quality sperm”

Do you work for a sperm bank or something? Why roll the dice when half is unknown. I'd rather have no kids than a bunch of fatherless kids who will never know their father and could be orphaned if something happens to their one parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism.

It will be very interesting to see the younger generations of women age single, and alone, with no families of their own. Will they have enough saved for retirement? How will they make it? I have an older female relative -- single, childless, early 70s -- living in another relative's garage because they lost their job. Can't find another one that covers the bills, now health is failing. Without the help of nieces and nephews, she might be on the streets.

The reality is, from a Friend who has worked in hospices and nursing homes, that’s it’s overwhelmingly older men who are broke with no family. It’s overwhelmingly older men who don’t maintain relationships or whose children feel no loyalty towards them. There’s a reason why men who have daughter live many years longer and women who have sons live shorter lives. Men are energetic “takers” and most of them rely deeply on female labor to even function at a normal level

And yet, statistics from the federal government of the United States of America suggest that your "Friend" might be divorced from reality:

Among the population of nursing home residents, the sex ratios are even more dramatic. For those age 65-74 who reside in U.S. nursing homes, for every 100 men there are 132 women. Among residents of nursing homes age 75-84, for every 100 men there are 246 women, and among those age >/=85, for every 100 men there are 425 women.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15692280/#:~:text=For%20those%20age%2065%2D74,men%20there%20are%20425%20women.

That's only because women live longer, and also because nursing homes are expensive and require lots of money that adult kids are often happy to shell out to take care of mom. When it comes to really dire, lonely, no-one-around situations, it's overwhelmingly men.

Jeepers, why do so many allegedly enlightened, supposedly educated people on DCUM continuously make up facts in support of their specious arguments? Why? Anyhoo, the Congressional Research Service -- and probably the American taxpayers -- would like to have a word:

Public sources paid for the majority of LTSS [Long-Term Services and Supports] spending (71.4%). Medicaid and Medicare are, respectively, the first and second-largest public payers, accounting for a combined 64.1% of all LTSS spending nationwide in 2021.

Out-of-pocket spending remained the largest component, at 13.6% of total LTSS spending. Second was private insurance (8.0%), which includes both health and long-term care insurance. Other private funding, which largely includes philanthropic contributions, comprised 7.0% of LTSS spending.

https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/IF/IF10343

[Anonymous]

Women benefit NOTHING in marriage that they can't get or do while single with half the headache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Please. So many women on here complaining that they found out after marriage and their kids were diagnosed with autism that gee whiz! Husband has autism too. How do you not notice this for years? Stop being so desperate to marry the first guy who asks.

But here you are on a thread complaining about how women aren’t interested in marrying. Pick a lane.

Not me. I'm not complaining. I'm saying being a SMBC by choice is a bad idea. A good idea is to not marry, live a fulfilling life being the fun aunt if you want, travel, and be fabulous. But some are acting like kids are a must. Not true at all.

Being a single mother by choice has a much lower incidence of genetic or heritable disorders than your above example, though, so if your cautionary tale is “don’t marry unsuitable men” you’re really making a good case for “use very high quality sperm”

Do you work for a sperm bank or something? Why roll the dice when half is unknown. I'd rather have no kids than a bunch of fatherless kids who will never know their father and could be orphaned if something happens to their one parent.

Cool that works for you and no one should be forced or pressured to have kids. Most people say they want children, though, and it’s infinitely smarter to use sperm from a more suitable donor (and then almost nothing is unknown with genetic testing) than to risk being tied to dead weight for eighteen years.

Being child free is also a great option but I’ve never heard of anyone staying in a bad marriage because it’s their only chance at childlessness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism.

It will be very interesting to see the younger generations of women age single, and alone, with no families of their own. Will they have enough saved for retirement? How will they make it? I have an older female relative -- single, childless, early 70s -- living in another relative's garage because they lost their job. Can't find another one that covers the bills, now health is failing. Without the help of nieces and nephews, she might be on the streets.

The reality is, from a Friend who has worked in hospices and nursing homes, that’s it’s overwhelmingly older men who are broke with no family. It’s overwhelmingly older men who don’t maintain relationships or whose children feel no loyalty towards them. There’s a reason why men who have daughter live many years longer and women who have sons live shorter lives. Men are energetic “takers” and most of them rely deeply on female labor to even function at a normal level

And yet, statistics from the federal government of the United States of America suggest that your "Friend" might be divorced from reality:

Among the population of nursing home residents, the sex ratios are even more dramatic. For those age 65-74 who reside in U.S. nursing homes, for every 100 men there are 132 women. Among residents of nursing homes age 75-84, for every 100 men there are 246 women, and among those age >/=85, for every 100 men there are 425 women.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15692280/#:~:text=For%20those%20age%2065%2D74,men%20there%20are%20425%20women.

That's only because women live longer, and also because nursing homes are expensive and require lots of money that adult kids are often happy to shell out to take care of mom. When it comes to really dire, lonely, no-one-around situations, it's overwhelmingly men.

Jeepers, why do so many allegedly enlightened, supposedly educated people on DCUM continuously make up facts in support of their specious arguments? Why? Anyhoo, the Congressional Research Service -- and probably the American taxpayers -- would like to have a word:

Public sources paid for the majority of LTSS [Long-Term Services and Supports] spending (71.4%). Medicaid and Medicare are, respectively, the first and second-largest public payers, accounting for a combined 64.1% of all LTSS spending nationwide in 2021.

Out-of-pocket spending remained the largest component, at 13.6% of total LTSS spending. Second was private insurance (8.0%), which includes both health and long-term care insurance. Other private funding, which largely includes philanthropic contributions, comprised 7.0% of LTSS spending.

https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/IF/IF10343

This is a study from Indonesia but aligns pretty clearly with what happens in every country.

"Senior women experienced warmth, sympathy, attention, help, and pleasant interactions to a larger extent than senior men...the relationship that elderly men in this study had with their children was not as close as what elderly women experienced. This supports the statement of Papalia and Martorell8 that the relationship between mother and child tends to be closer than the relationship between father and child."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6415465/

This aligns perfectly with what my friend observed anecdotally. Women in nursing homes often still had kids visiting them, grandkids around, families willing to pay for them. The elderly men were usually the ones being paid for by the state, in horrifically bad health, with literally no one around to care about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women benefit NOTHING in marriage that they can't get or do while single with half the headache.

Nothing. Not a thing? Huh. Says a lot about your circle that you would come to this conclusion.

[Anonymous]

You couldn't pay me to remarry.
I love DH but I do miss being single and would never marry again.

DH said he would remarry should I die, because he wants companionship and we have no family near by.
He says its sad I said i never would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Please. So many women on here complaining that they found out after marriage and their kids were diagnosed with autism that gee whiz! Husband has autism too. How do you not notice this for years? Stop being so desperate to marry the first guy who asks.

But here you are on a thread complaining about how women aren’t interested in marrying. Pick a lane.

Not me. I'm not complaining. I'm saying being a SMBC by choice is a bad idea. A good idea is to not marry, live a fulfilling life being the fun aunt if you want, travel, and be fabulous. But some are acting like kids are a must. Not true at all.

Being a single mother by choice has a much lower incidence of genetic or heritable disorders than your above example, though, so if your cautionary tale is “don’t marry unsuitable men” you’re really making a good case for “use very high quality sperm”

Do you work for a sperm bank or something? Why roll the dice when half is unknown. I'd rather have no kids than a bunch of fatherless kids who will never know their father and could be orphaned if something happens to their one parent.

Cool that works for you and no one should be forced or pressured to have kids. Most people say they want children, though, and it’s infinitely smarter to use sperm from a more suitable donor (and then almost nothing is unknown with genetic testing) than to risk being tied to dead weight for eighteen years.

Being child free is also a great option but I’ve never heard of anyone staying in a bad marriage because it’s their only chance at childlessness.

No shit. I'm not the one pushing everyone to just rush to the sperm bank when they decided they need kids. You have an odd agenda here to normalize SMBC and denigrate marriage. What is your deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women benefit NOTHING in marriage that they can't get or do while single with half the headache.

Nothing. Not a thing? Huh. Says a lot about your circle that you would come to this conclusion.

What is a benefit they can't get from something else?
Money? A job
Sex? A boyfriend or casual
Yardwork? Do it themselves or hire it out
House? buy one
Companionship? family/friends/male companion
Strength? hire
Care? hire it out or family/kids
Childcare? LOL, hire it out
Housework? likely do it all anyway, or hire it out
Hobbies? friends/aquaintences
Tax break? Yes. Yes. there it is.

[Anonymous]

Women talk about their value a lot and for good reasons. Men put them on this exclusive planet that I won't be surprised if some men think women don't fart. The ways some men go twist themselves into human pretzels to please a woman is frankly pathetic. Men need to stop pursuing women. Women tell us that they are independent, they are this that. Okay then don't wait for the guy to come to you, go get him. Don't constantly test him. Don't pre-assume that he will cheat. You are independent you don' need a man. You will thrive just fine by yourself. You will enjoy your special moments by yourself and be just fine.

[Anonymous]

Isn't a lot of it that men can marry younger and still father children?