61% of single women in America are not looking to get into a new relationship compared to 38% of men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But it’s such a good deal for older single women! You get an older single man and all of his neglected physical and mental health issues to deal with. And probably his grown kids and grandkids as well who will never accept you. So much more appealing than a quiet single life with your career and your own friends and family!!!!! Can’t believe women age 50+ aren’t signing up for this honestly.

Right?! Marriage later in life is a liability for women. If we already have financial security and we don't want to have children, then why would we disturb the peace? Companionship does not require a legal marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Single men are far more likely than single women to be looking for a relationship or dates – 61% vs. 38%. This gender gap is especially apparent among older singles"

Interesting development. What do we think is causing this?

https://www.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/20/2020/08/PSDT_08.20.20.dating-relationships.full_.report.pdf

I could see that being the case here n the east coast amongst black and white women, but not with other demographics and not with the rest of the country.

pew is left biased so Unf their surveys don’t get out of their bubbles.

[Anonymous]

Makes sense. Women choosing to be happy alone vs pleasing someone and all the burden of taking care of someone else's life without necessarily a good emotional return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But it’s such a good deal for older single women! You get an older single man and all of his neglected physical and mental health issues to deal with. And probably his grown kids and grandkids as well who will never accept you. So much more appealing than a quiet single life with your career and your own friends and family!!!!! Can’t believe women age 50+ aren’t signing up for this honestly.

Right?! Marriage later in life is a liability for women. If we already have financial security and we don't want to have children, then why would we disturb the peace? Companionship does not require a legal marriage.

Yup. I love DH and my kids. But im not remarrying later in life if something happens to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

You can be a cool aunt for the rest of your life and never put yourself in the position to be physically, emotionally, or financially abused by a man via marriage. It is a perfectly valid life choice to remain single and not have children but enjoy your sibling's children and foster deep relationships with extended family and friends/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Actually, it's the opposite. Most of the women I know who want to stay single are the ones who divorced around 40. The dating pool is really shallow, and they don't want to be someone's bang maid, which is what a large number of older guys seem to want.

[Anonymous]

The data is poorly presented as not broken down across dimension, but the graph shows a large effect from widows. Men die younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But it’s such a good deal for older single women! You get an older single man and all of his neglected physical and mental health issues to deal with. And probably his grown kids and grandkids as well who will never accept you. So much more appealing than a quiet single life with your career and your own friends and family!!!!! Can’t believe women age 50+ aren’t signing up for this honestly.

Right?! Marriage later in life is a liability for women. If we already have financial security and we don't want to have children, then why would we disturb the peace? Companionship does not require a legal marriage.

Yup. I love DH and my kids. But im not remarrying later in life if something happens to him.

+1, and this is true of most happily married women I know. Much as I love my wonderful DH, the idea of doing precisely what I want whenever I want is downright intoxicating! I have a widowed acquaintance looking for a relationship, and most of us find this puzzling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Single men are far more likely than single women to be looking for a relationship or dates – 61% vs. 38%. This gender gap is especially apparent among older singles"

Interesting development. What do we think is causing this?

https://www.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/20/2020/08/PSDT_08.20.20.dating-relationships.full_.report.pdf

I could see that being the case here n the east coast amongst black and white women, but not with other demographics and not with the rest of the country.

pew is left biased so Unf their surveys don’t get out of their bubbles.

The survey is actually nationally representative. It might not fit your own experiences, but it's statistically reliable. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/methodology-38-2/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Single men are far more likely than single women to be looking for a relationship or dates – 61% vs. 38%. This gender gap is especially apparent among older singles"

Interesting development. What do we think is causing this?

https://www.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/20/2020/08/PSDT_08.20.20.dating-relationships.full_.report.pdf

Does this include divorced, widowed, aging, never married w kids single moms too? Or is that a life and diced well in the data and write-up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

+1 But even if they don't become a SMBC and remain single, a 43 year-old "cool aunt" has nieces and nephews who are tween and teens, which is actually kind of the perfect time to be the cool aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriage makes sense for women who want to have families, and can have financial benefits if they live in an expensive area where buying a home or raising kids on a single salary might be challenging even if reasonably well paid.

Outside of that, marriage is often not a good deal for women, and a way for them to get tied down to someone who is unlikely to care for them as much as they expect to be cared for BY them, especially as you age.

So for women who doesn't want to or cannot have kids, and is financially stable, the ONLY situation in which a longterm relationship or marriage makes sense is if she meets someone who truly makes her happy and would be a good partner and bring something to the table. But by your late 30s and onward, the number of unmarried men who fit that description is very, very small. The ones who are out there might also have baggage you don't want to deal with (divorced or widowed, potentially children from a previous marriage, demanding jobs that are not conducive to compromise or relationships).

What is the value proposition for them? There really isn't one.

Meanwhile a lot of men in this age group want or even need women to do the stuff women do in relationships all the time -- make the home a nice place to be, maintain social relationships, parent the children, plan vacations, maintain the home and property repairs, encourage their partners to go to the doctor and dentist, check in elderly parents and family ties, etc. Women don't need someone to do that stuff. Many men do. It's honestly sad.

We need a new vision for being a man that brings more to the table than sperm and a job. Men need more soft skills that would actually benefit other people.

True true true.

Not only do males not do the basic adult life items above, they don’t acknowledge, appreciate nor show gratitude for the women in their lives (mother, sister, cousin, wife, daughter) who does it “for them.”

[Anonymous]

Lol any time I've seen the Cool Aunt thing IRL it was always some aging millennial that never wanted to grow up themselves trying to be hip to little kids. Kind of pathetic really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol that you think self centeredness is a male only phenomenon.

Lol.

Show me some examples of the it differently and I’ll show you 1000s of examples of self-centered males, husbands and fathers. 1000s of examples, most of them on daily and weekly repeat.