Women: If you could give career advice to your younger self, what would you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the kids younger. You'll have more energy for FT work/commuting/activities. Your career won't actually suffer.

Do we go to state school in the south to find a man who wants to commit in his 20s?

When I was 25 I struggled with meeting a lot of men who just don’t see themselves getting married within 10 years.

If you are 25 and ready to have kids, date men who are 30-35.

[Anonymous]

Avoid girl cliques at work
Look for a diverse work environment
Always defend your reputation and stand up for yourself- schoolyard bullies still exist as adults
Have a an exit plan and a plan B to fall back on- this may mean you have extra skills or certifications-good for your mental health to know you have an outside
Invest your income from day 1 for you future self
Find a group of allies for support
A wise older mentor can be great
Be nice to the boss and say yes if they directly ask you to do something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Avoid girl cliques at work
Look for a diverse work environment
Always defend your reputation and stand up for yourself- schoolyard bullies still exist as adults
Have a an exit plan and a plan B to fall back on- this may mean you have extra skills or certifications-good for your mental health to know you have an outside
Invest your income from day 1 for you future self
Find a group of allies for support
A wise older mentor can be great
Be nice to the boss and say yes if they directly ask you to do something.

Elaborate on #1?

I worked mostly in male dominant field. Never knew what it’s like to have girl cliques at work.

[Anonymous]

Don't enter government service. Go make real money the first opportunity opportunity you get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure you enjoy your major. If you don’t, change it even if it means an extra semester or two to graduate. Don’t pick a major based on ease of employment. Think of what you’ll enjoy doing as a profession.

I would say the opposite. You can always have hobbies. I picked a low-paying profession that I “liked”, and it’s one of my regrets.

I would also say the opposite. Major in something where your talents are, even if its not a "passion" and may be boring . You will get a well paying job at 22 and can move around in that field to something that suits you.

[Anonymous]

^^^we walked around saying "I don't want to do this for the rest of my life" and looked for a passion. Get a good foundation and the rest will follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the kids younger. You'll have more energy for FT work/commuting/activities. Your career won't actually suffer.

Do we go to state school in the south to find a man who wants to commit in his 20s?

When I was 25 I struggled with meeting a lot of men who just don’t see themselves getting married within 10 years.

If you are 25 and ready to have kids, date men who are 30-35.

I disagree. I am 58 and my friends who married older guys are looking at retirement homes now.

[Anonymous]

If you look like Blake Lively, you will be sexually harassed, be strong, ignore or put them down, move on and believe in yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the kids younger. You'll have more energy for FT work/commuting/activities. Your career won't actually suffer.

Do we go to state school in the south to find a man who wants to commit in his 20s?

When I was 25 I struggled with meeting a lot of men who just don’t see themselves getting married within 10 years.

If you are 25 and ready to have kids, date men who are 30-35.

I disagree. I am 58 and my friends who married older guys are looking at retirement homes now.

Ok southern state school it is. I have to think about this stuff as I have 2 teen girls lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't enter government service. Go make real money the first opportunity opportunity you get.

+1,000

Chose the work/life balance over money and now I work under a fascist trying to destroy the government workforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't be afraid to trust your instincts. I think that was what held me back for awhile. Then Covid hit and I really learned my instincts were right (I'm a nurse) and was more confident asserting myself to doctors. Now my career has really taken off and I'm doing things I never thought I would do

This and also to prioritize work life balance. Being so burnt out was not helpful to myself or family.

[Anonymous]

The person you marry is the most important decision you make. Make sure that they are true partner. In addition, advice someone told me when I was a young mom with 2 little kids, your career is a marathon and not a sprint and it is ok to switch to lower stress job for your family needs. Good workers and good people can move back up the ladder when they choose. Have empathy and don't get caught up in office gossip. And lastly, be friendly but not friends with work colleagues. It will usually bite your in the butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the kids younger. You'll have more energy for FT work/commuting/activities. Your career won't actually suffer.

Do we go to state school in the south to find a man who wants to commit in his 20s?

When I was 25 I struggled with meeting a lot of men who just don’t see themselves getting married within 10 years.

If you are 25 and ready to have kids, date men who are 30-35.

I disagree. I am 58 and my friends who married older guys are looking at retirement homes now.

Ok southern state school it is. I have to think about this stuff as I have 2 teen girls lol.

I think there are actually a lot of great young men in this area who want wives and families before they are old, but they are convinced that young women want to be single, married to their careers (or to another woman who is also focused on career), and hate the idea of children. They are definitely here in DC but afraid of making the wrong step in this weird post me too and digital dating era.

Funnily, we moms also tell them to head to south or midwest state schools if a future family is a priority.

Maybe this is why SEC schools are booming now, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the kids younger. You'll have more energy for FT work/commuting/activities. Your career won't actually suffer.

Do we go to state school in the south to find a man who wants to commit in his 20s?

When I was 25 I struggled with meeting a lot of men who just don’t see themselves getting married within 10 years.

If you are 25 and ready to have kids, date men who are 30-35.

I disagree. I am 58 and my friends who married older guys are looking at retirement homes now.

Ok southern state school it is. I have to think about this stuff as I have 2 teen girls lol.

I think there are actually a lot of great young men in this area who want wives and families before they are old, but they are convinced that young women want to be single, married to their careers (or to another woman who is also focused on career), and hate the idea of children. They are definitely here in DC but afraid of making the wrong step in this weird post me too and digital dating era.

Funnily, we moms also tell them to head to south or midwest state schools if a future family is a priority.

Maybe this is why SEC schools are booming now, lol.

Ah I think this is right! I remember when I was young, I was afraid of demonstrating “emotional needs” thinking this will scare the men away. I came in with the assumption that they don’t want to be tied down due to all the girly romance movies portraying men as commitment phobic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be afraid to trust your instincts. I think that was what held me back for awhile. Then Covid hit and I really learned my instincts were right (I'm a nurse) and was more confident asserting myself to doctors. Now my career has really taken off and I'm doing things I never thought I would do

This and also to prioritize work life balance. Being so burnt out was not helpful to myself or family.

What do you do now, as an RN? Did you leave bedside/clinical?