The deflated grading is just exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The point of going to a top 3 school is to get a demanding, rigorous education.

If you’re not happy with it, switch to public or Maret or field or someplace like that.

Was your child admitted early, like in kindergarten or elementary? Maybe it’s not the right fit.

Bs are one thing by getting multiple scores like 75 or 65 could be a sign your kid shouldn’t be of the school.

I tire The people who get their kids into super progress schools and then complain that they are too rigorous.

Oh please, not the OP but you are full of it. And, your reading comprehension is lacking. OP said what class averages were really low. Her child is doing much better than the lower average. The OP takes issue with the excessively unnecessary grind combined with the harsh and demoralizing grading. I agree with OP, as someone who has three kids at a big three, that the grade deflation is ridiculous and unnecessary. The kids should be graded fairly. A work deserves an A. Stupid to force a curve or grade distribution, doesn't add anything to the rigor or what the kids are learning. Before you say well go to another school, options are bleak. It shouldn't be all or nothing but it is. If you want your child to get a certain kind of education that there are tradeoffs. Doesn't mean we as parents have to be happy with the bad.

. Here's a crazy question- why did you choose to send your kid to a school notorious for the grind and grade deflation? There are dozens of privates in the area that offer comparable educations minus the misery, but big 3 families somehow see it as a badge of pride. None of these schools make any secret of their culture, but somehow it shifts from a great thing when families apply to a terrible thing when they realize they have a 3 GPA

I might have a different take on this argument. We have a big 3 kid. Our kid was diagnosed with sever ADD just prior to the Pandemic. Our kid struggled during on line learning during COVID. Made some bad grades and put our kid behind. Our kid came back with a vengeance when school started again in person. The kid has made nothing but B's and a few A's here and there. Our kids GPA won't be great and we are waiting on the PSAT score to understand college options.

We paid big money for our kids education. No doubt. It's a rigorous school that our kid struggles with but is learning how to deal with it. That being said, our kid is maturing and doing better each week and month. My husband and I both believe the education our kid receives at a top private has been a blessing. Nothing in life is easy. Our kid understands that premise. Our kid will be prepared for college even if DCUM looks down on my kids choice of college.

I don't think anyone can really understand the grind or how their kid will respond to it until their kid is in the thick of it. We knew the school was rigorous but we had never had a kid in it before. Frankly, we had never had a teenager before. We were ignorant of a lot of things. We were coming from DCPS which was the complete opposite--very minimal challenge (basically As for completion) so our kid was hungry for a change. Anyway, it's impossible to really know how a high school will work out (or not) until you're in it. I know that our next kid is electing to stay in public and we'll figure that out as we go along.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone can really understand the grind or how their kid will respond to it until their kid is in the thick of it. We knew the school was rigorous but we had never had a kid in it before. Frankly, we had never had a teenager before. We were ignorant of a lot of things. We were coming from DCPS which was the complete opposite--very minimal challenge (basically As for completion) so our kid was hungry for a change. Anyway, it's impossible to really know how a high school will work out (or not) until you're in it. I know that our next kid is electing to stay in public and we'll figure that out as we go along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher, I can tell you that families’ perceptions of typical grades and levels of struggle are often inaccurate. I have sat in numerous conferences where I’ve heard “everyone” has a tutor and a good portion of the class is “failing,” and it’s just not the case. Perceptions are colored by mindset and by one’s social group. Also, a lot of the kids who spend hours studying at home aren’t using their daytime study halls well and may not have efficient work habits in place.

That said, the Big 3 are very challenging places to go to school. Not every student, even hard-working, intelligent kids, will do well there. The type of teen who thrives in those schools is into the academic content, high energy, self assured, and self motivated. I did not have all of those attributes when I attended NCS, and I floundered a bit.

If the school isn’t a good fit, it isn’t a good fit. There is no shame in transferring. For students who have a hard time keeping up, the advantages you believe that the school confers may be overridden by the intense stress. Complain all you want, but these schools have operated with this culture for decades. The only real choices they will offer you are to try to keep up or enroll somewhere else.

Transferring high schools is a huge academic and social disruption for a student who isn’t struggling. With rare exception, these schools should be able to educate the students who they accept without damaging their mental health: Your whole tone is precisely why so many students are deeply unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the good news, after 4 years, your kid will be incredibly well prepared for college and likely find college to be easy.

-parent of big3 kids who are in college

I am not sure how that is "good" news. Also, are you claiming Big3 kids are somehow able to just waltz through college senior-level STEM classes because of their Big3 training?

My class of '22 big 3 grad is killing it currently at their T15 school. They are not waltzing, no, but they work fairly hard and get results that are superior to most of their T15 peers, so far.

Their professors repeatedly tell them what an excellent writer and thinker they are, actually. One prof, who many DC parents would know, called my kid a 'standout.' I attribute a LOT of this to kid's HS experience, which was indeed rigorous. And excellent.

Are you now claiming your Big3 grad is superior to the boarding school and LA/NYC private school kids?

No idea. That wasn’t the prompt though. The above post responded to someone wondering if a deeply rigorous HS education at a (grade-deflating) big3 might make even a top college feel like a “waltz.” The answer for my kid is a qualified Yes. Perhaps their Andover alum college classmates feel exactly the same, who knows

The prompt actually was whether a big3 grad could “waltz” through “senior level STEM classes” as a result of the implied ass kicking the student received at Sidwell or the like. My big3 kid is getting among the highest grades, or the very highest in a few cases, in upper level math and econ classes, and also their humanities classes and chem. They don’t find the work particularly difficult compared to their HS. Sorry if you deem this blather, and most of all I deeply apologize that the kid isn’t a CS major. Since everyone knows that’s the only difficult and worthwhile major.

So the answer is no. What’s the major? No humanities major is taking “upper level math or Econ classes”…unless you consider a basic college class “upper level”.

It’s strange you know the specifics of your kid, his classes, his grades, supposedly his grades vs his peers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone can really understand the grind or how their kid will respond to it until their kid is in the thick of it. We knew the school was rigorous but we had never had a kid in it before. Frankly, we had never had a teenager before. We were ignorant of a lot of things. We were coming from DCPS which was the complete opposite--very minimal challenge (basically As for completion) so our kid was hungry for a change. Anyway, it's impossible to really know how a high school will work out (or not) until you're in it. I know that our next kid is electing to stay in public and we'll figure that out as we go along.

You do realize the As for completion kid will have an easier time getting in college unless private schools adapt to the various grading models.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone can really understand the grind or how their kid will respond to it until their kid is in the thick of it. We knew the school was rigorous but we had never had a kid in it before. Frankly, we had never had a teenager before. We were ignorant of a lot of things. We were coming from DCPS which was the complete opposite--very minimal challenge (basically As for completion) so our kid was hungry for a change. Anyway, it's impossible to really know how a high school will work out (or not) until you're in it. I know that our next kid is electing to stay in public and we'll figure that out as we go along.

You do realize the As for completion kid will have an easier time getting in college unless private schools adapt to the various grading models.

huh? You're a moron. ¥ou're preaching at me with the exact message of my own post. Next time, read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

Seems like schools have to start understanding the concept of "rigorous enough" much like "smart enough". There are numerous studies that as long as an individual is above a certain IQ (can't remember...but it is well below what is considered remotely genius-level), you are smart enough to accomplish just about anything you want to do in life. It now comes down to interest, ambition, grit, etc...all the personal qualities that distinguish people.

It seems that certain schools I guess equate hours of homework with rigor. Maybe that's true, but volume does not necessarily equate to rigor. Seems like your second kid's school is rigorous enough.

[Anonymous]

A pp mentioned this, but ymmv on the idea that "AOs know how rigorous XYZ school is". For the UC systems and large schools, I don't think it works. It looks like these privates have the best placement success with other privates - which is great, only if that's what your kid ends up wanting in a school, and not too many kids in the same class are gunning for the same school (which invariably occurs). Because at the end of the day, their first round of competition for acceptance is their peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a good thing, OP, and more schools should be doing this. Believe it or not, a “C” used to be average and actually meant average. It’s good that your child is getting an education where they are actually expected to learn the material, rather than just get inflated grades for showing up and doing the bare minimum.

+1 Too many parents today think their children should have mostly or all A's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the good news, after 4 years, your kid will be incredibly well prepared for college and likely find college to be easy.

-parent of big3 kids who are in college

I am not sure how that is "good" news. Also, are you claiming Big3 kids are somehow able to just waltz through college senior-level STEM classes because of their Big3 training?

My class of '22 big 3 grad is killing it currently at their T15 school. They are not waltzing, no, but they work fairly hard and get results that are superior to most of their T15 peers, so far.

Their professors repeatedly tell them what an excellent writer and thinker they are, actually. One prof, who many DC parents would know, called my kid a 'standout.' I attribute a LOT of this to kid's HS experience, which was indeed rigorous. And excellent.

Are you now claiming your Big3 grad is superior to the boarding school and LA/NYC private school kids?

No idea. That wasn’t the prompt though. The above post responded to someone wondering if a deeply rigorous HS education at a (grade-deflating) big3 might make even a top college feel like a “waltz.” The answer for my kid is a qualified Yes. Perhaps their Andover alum college classmates feel exactly the same, who knows

The prompt actually was whether a big3 grad could “waltz” through “senior level STEM classes” as a result of the implied ass kicking the student received at Sidwell or the like. My big3 kid is getting among the highest grades, or the very highest in a few cases, in upper level math and econ classes, and also their humanities classes and chem. They don’t find the work particularly difficult compared to their HS. Sorry if you deem this blather, and most of all I deeply apologize that the kid isn’t a CS major. Since everyone knows that’s the only difficult and worthwhile major.

So the answer is no. What’s the major? No humanities major is taking “upper level math or Econ classes”…unless you consider a basic college class “upper level”.

It’s strange you know the specifics of your kid, his classes, his grades, supposedly his grades vs his peers, etc.

I am a new poster but how are you so sure? My kid is a history major at a top 20 university and he consistently sets the curve in his 300 level college classes as a freshmen in math and science (tested out of 100/200 level classes with AP scores). He was a humanities kid who took BC Calc and Calc-based physics in HS, in addition to AP History and Language. He wasn't alone, so this does happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the good news, after 4 years, your kid will be incredibly well prepared for college and likely find college to be easy.

-parent of big3 kids who are in college

I am not sure how that is "good" news. Also, are you claiming Big3 kids are somehow able to just waltz through college senior-level STEM classes because of their Big3 training?

My class of '22 big 3 grad is killing it currently at their T15 school. They are not waltzing, no, but they work fairly hard and get results that are superior to most of their T15 peers, so far.

Their professors repeatedly tell them what an excellent writer and thinker they are, actually. One prof, who many DC parents would know, called my kid a 'standout.' I attribute a LOT of this to kid's HS experience, which was indeed rigorous. And excellent.

Are you now claiming your Big3 grad is superior to the boarding school and LA/NYC private school kids?

No idea. That wasn’t the prompt though. The above post responded to someone wondering if a deeply rigorous HS education at a (grade-deflating) big3 might make even a top college feel like a “waltz.” The answer for my kid is a qualified Yes. Perhaps their Andover alum college classmates feel exactly the same, who knows

The prompt actually was whether a big3 grad could “waltz” through “senior level STEM classes” as a result of the implied ass kicking the student received at Sidwell or the like. My big3 kid is getting among the highest grades, or the very highest in a few cases, in upper level math and econ classes, and also their humanities classes and chem. They don’t find the work particularly difficult compared to their HS. Sorry if you deem this blather, and most of all I deeply apologize that the kid isn’t a CS major. Since everyone knows that’s the only difficult and worthwhile major.

So the answer is no. What’s the major? No humanities major is taking “upper level math or Econ classes”…unless you consider a basic college class “upper level”.

It’s strange you know the specifics of your kid, his classes, his grades, supposedly his grades vs his peers, etc.

I am a new poster but how are you so sure? My kid is a history major at a top 20 university and he consistently sets the curve in his 300 level college classes as a freshmen in math and science (tested out of 100/200 level classes with AP scores). He was a humanities kid who took BC Calc and Calc-based physics in HS, in addition to AP History and Language. He wasn't alone, so this does happen.

That's not Upper Level...that's one rung above the most basic level...and still pretty much a standard course college kids take. Also, is he taking the courses alongside the engineering, CS and Math majors? Many schools have different sections for the humanities kids vs. the STEM and Math kids? My kid is at a Top 5 majoring in STEM and there are no humanities majors in their Linear Algebra section as an example...it exists, but a humanities major would register for a completely different course name/number unless they lobbied to take the course offered to the STEM kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

For these parents, we’re thinking about moving our younger out as well. What ‘second tier’ private would you suggest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Big3. Junior year.
The deflated grading feels worse than ever this year and is just exhausting. My kid does homework for 4 hours per night. Some nights it's even more.
Goes in and takes exams. Averages on a recent math exam: 70. Average on a recent science exam: 65. Average on a recent history exam: 85.
Doing well just seems impossible, stress is so high. There are no retakes, no curving, etc. We know from experience that a few kids will end eek their way up to a 90% with lab reports, quizzes, perhaps a better second test. My kid is among these. But many won't. They'll get a straight B or B- in the class even with maximum effort. And then a 5 on the AP exam.
In some classes only 1 or 2 kids will end up above a 90. There is just so much stress and I don't understand why it has to be this hard.
Why take a cohort of very bright, very hardworking kids and then give a straight B as the average (and a tiny handful of low A's across the grade?) It's just exhausting.
I'm not sure what the point it. College admissions aren't even that great--colleges are no longer buying this "a 3.5 is a good GPA!" line.
It's just too far out of the norm of what every other type of school is doing.

Do you really think you’re going to change things now you’re already partway into junior year. It’s not going to change live and learn I guess.

NP. We learned after older kid dealt with the big3 deflated GPA and college admissions in the 2022-2023 TO world. Younger kid just started 9th at a “second tier” private school. Getting As and working hard (but appropriately hard). Grades are weighted for honors and AP (yes, they have AP classes!) and test retakes allowed. I feel like sending my older kid to a big3 for high school was my biggest parenting mistake. Way too much stress and college admission results were not commiserate with effort and ability. Live and learn.

What kind of GPA are you talking about? At what GPA is a Big 3 probably not worth it?