Large early inheritance to only 1 of 3 siblings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read all this, but if they made changes in the wills to accommodate the early payoff, this is super normal. I honestly don’t know a single wealthy family that doesn’t have some thing like this to account for early gifts.

I think you are referring to an equalization provision. Our estate lawyer advised against this because he said the accounting could be complicated and cause issues.

[Anonymous]

Are you LDS, OP? And I agree with others that your parents chose to subsidize this lifestyle and sure I'd be jealous too but it sounds like you're doing okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read all this, but if they made changes in the wills to accommodate the early payoff, this is super normal. I honestly don’t know a single wealthy family that doesn’t have some thing like this to account for early gifts.

I think you are referring to an equalization provision. Our estate lawyer advised against this because he said the accounting could be complicated and cause issues.

There are ways to do it though - by creating trusts and such. It’s better parents’ try to do things equally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for all of my brother’s law school and a couple years later I got a full scholarship for my grad school, they didn’t ever give me a similar amount because I didn’t need it. This has never caused any problems between us, we both have more than we need.

Because that is what nice normal people do. They don't keep track of "who got what" in their family.

This is such BS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for all of my brother’s law school and a couple years later I got a full scholarship for my grad school, they didn’t ever give me a similar amount because I didn’t need it. This has never caused any problems between us, we both have more than we need.

Because that is what nice normal people do. They don't keep track of "who got what" in their family.

This is such BS

So while alive, if you parents give a sibling $5K for their kids activities or for college or to help with a trip, do you actually go to your parents and ask for your $5k? Genuinely interested in how that works. If college cost more for your brother, did you ask for the difference from your parents when you graduated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for all of my brother’s law school and a couple years later I got a full scholarship for my grad school, they didn’t ever give me a similar amount because I didn’t need it. This has never caused any problems between us, we both have more than we need.

Because that is what nice normal people do. They don't keep track of "who got what" in their family.

This is such BS

So while alive, if you parents give a sibling $5K for their kids activities or for college or to help with a trip, do you actually go to your parents and ask for your $5k? Genuinely interested in how that works. If college cost more for your brother, did you ask for the difference from your parents when you graduated?

The OP didn't start a thread about her parents giving her sibling $5K to pay for her kids' summer camp, so I really don't see the point of your example.

The OP is speaking about their sibling getting $1M and your response to the OP is "no one cares about this! no one keeps track!" and then when I call BS on your response you back track and provide a ridiculous example. You're back tracking because of course people keep track of their parents' giving their sibling a million dollars. Of course people keep track of the fact that their parents are paying for their siblings' kids to go to private school and not their kids or that their parents' are buying their sibling a house and not them.

[Anonymous]

I wonder why OP hasn’t offered any clarification about the religious dynamics or the net worth of the parents. One imagines it’s because those facts wouldn’t support OP’s nursing of their resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for all of my brother’s law school and a couple years later I got a full scholarship for my grad school, they didn’t ever give me a similar amount because I didn’t need it. This has never caused any problems between us, we both have more than we need.

Because that is what nice normal people do. They don't keep track of "who got what" in their family.

This is such BS

So while alive, if you parents give a sibling $5K for their kids activities or for college or to help with a trip, do you actually go to your parents and ask for your $5k? Genuinely interested in how that works. If college cost more for your brother, did you ask for the difference from your parents when you graduated?

Yes they have to give me the same. They must treat us all equally. If they don't, I'll cut them off.
When we were younger, if they gave a chocolate to my brother, they would have to give me a chocolate too, otherwise I would cry until they give me a chocolate too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for all of my brother’s law school and a couple years later I got a full scholarship for my grad school, they didn’t ever give me a similar amount because I didn’t need it. This has never caused any problems between us, we both have more than we need.

Because that is what nice normal people do. They don't keep track of "who got what" in their family.

This is such BS

So while alive, if you parents give a sibling $5K for their kids activities or for college or to help with a trip, do you actually go to your parents and ask for your $5k? Genuinely interested in how that works. If college cost more for your brother, did you ask for the difference from your parents when you graduated?

The OP didn't start a thread about her parents giving her sibling $5K to pay for her kids' summer camp, so I really don't see the point of your example.

The OP is speaking about their sibling getting $1M and your response to the OP is "no one cares about this! no one keeps track!" and then when I call BS on your response you back track and provide a ridiculous example. You're back tracking because of course people keep track of their parents' giving their sibling a million dollars. Of course people keep track of the fact that their parents are paying for their siblings' kids to go to private school and not their kids or that their parents' are buying their sibling a house and not them.

I do not keep track of it. I have my own money and don't need theirs. They can spend their money as they see fit just like I spend mine as I see fit.
Do you also keep track of your parents giving money to other people, to charity? Or are you only mad when they give it to your siblings.

[Anonymous]

And you really don’t know how much the parents actually gave the sibling.

I went to an expensive private college. I had lots of merit scholarship and financial aid plus I worked jobs every semester and summer so my parents paid less than $5000 per year. My sibling, on the other hand, went to our state’s big flagship university. She received some need based financial aid, but not too much because the tuition was relatively low as she was in state. So, my parents paid about $15000 per year for her, roughly three times what they paid for me each year.

But, to this day, my sibling loves to tell everyone how I went to this expensive private school and cost my parents soooo much money. She seems to be implying sometimes that she should get more when they are gone. But her tuition cost them more then three time what mine cost. It’s very silly and I do correct her when I’m present when she says this, but I’ve heard that she tells relatives this story when she is at family events and I am not there.

But someone who doesn’t know the truth might think my parents were very unfair when that isn’t at all the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And you really don’t know how much the parents actually gave the sibling.

I went to an expensive private college. I had lots of merit scholarship and financial aid plus I worked jobs every semester and summer so my parents paid less than $5000 per year. My sibling, on the other hand, went to our state’s big flagship university. She received some need based financial aid, but not too much because the tuition was relatively low as she was in state. So, my parents paid about $15000 per year for her, roughly three times what they paid for me each year.

But, to this day, my sibling loves to tell everyone how I went to this expensive private school and cost my parents soooo much money. She seems to be implying sometimes that she should get more when they are gone. But her tuition cost them more then three time what mine cost. It’s very silly and I do correct her when I’m present when she says this, but I’ve heard that she tells relatives this story when she is at family events and I am not there.

But someone who doesn’t know the truth might think my parents were very unfair when that isn’t at all the case.

Cool story. What does that have to do with OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And you really don’t know how much the parents actually gave the sibling.

I went to an expensive private college. I had lots of merit scholarship and financial aid plus I worked jobs every semester and summer so my parents paid less than $5000 per year. My sibling, on the other hand, went to our state’s big flagship university. She received some need based financial aid, but not too much because the tuition was relatively low as she was in state. So, my parents paid about $15000 per year for her, roughly three times what they paid for me each year.

But, to this day, my sibling loves to tell everyone how I went to this expensive private school and cost my parents soooo much money. She seems to be implying sometimes that she should get more when they are gone. But her tuition cost them more then three time what mine cost. It’s very silly and I do correct her when I’m present when she says this, but I’ve heard that she tells relatives this story when she is at family events and I am not there.

But someone who doesn’t know the truth might think my parents were very unfair when that isn’t at all the case.

Cool story. What does that have to do with OP?

Not sure, but it made me consider that OP might be leaving out other instances where they were helped by their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And you really don’t know how much the parents actually gave the sibling.

I went to an expensive private college. I had lots of merit scholarship and financial aid plus I worked jobs every semester and summer so my parents paid less than $5000 per year. My sibling, on the other hand, went to our state’s big flagship university. She received some need based financial aid, but not too much because the tuition was relatively low as she was in state. So, my parents paid about $15000 per year for her, roughly three times what they paid for me each year.

But, to this day, my sibling loves to tell everyone how I went to this expensive private school and cost my parents soooo much money. She seems to be implying sometimes that she should get more when they are gone. But her tuition cost them more then three time what mine cost. It’s very silly and I do correct her when I’m present when she says this, but I’ve heard that she tells relatives this story when she is at family events and I am not there.

But someone who doesn’t know the truth might think my parents were very unfair when that isn’t at all the case.

Cool story. What does that have to do with OP?

The point is that OP doesn’t really know how much money was given, they might be assuming. Unless they’re looking at actual financial statements, they really don’t know the amount of money involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And you really don’t know how much the parents actually gave the sibling.

I went to an expensive private college. I had lots of merit scholarship and financial aid plus I worked jobs every semester and summer so my parents paid less than $5000 per year. My sibling, on the other hand, went to our state’s big flagship university. She received some need based financial aid, but not too much because the tuition was relatively low as she was in state. So, my parents paid about $15000 per year for her, roughly three times what they paid for me each year.

But, to this day, my sibling loves to tell everyone how I went to this expensive private school and cost my parents soooo much money. She seems to be implying sometimes that she should get more when they are gone. But her tuition cost them more then three time what mine cost. It’s very silly and I do correct her when I’m present when she says this, but I’ve heard that she tells relatives this story when she is at family events and I am not there.

But someone who doesn’t know the truth might think my parents were very unfair when that isn’t at all the case.

Cool story. What does that have to do with OP?

Not sure, but it made me consider that OP might be leaving out other instances where they were helped by their parents.

Exactly. OP is telling what appears to be a very one sided story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And you really don’t know how much the parents actually gave the sibling.

I went to an expensive private college. I had lots of merit scholarship and financial aid plus I worked jobs every semester and summer so my parents paid less than $5000 per year. My sibling, on the other hand, went to our state’s big flagship university. She received some need based financial aid, but not too much because the tuition was relatively low as she was in state. So, my parents paid about $15000 per year for her, roughly three times what they paid for me each year.

But, to this day, my sibling loves to tell everyone how I went to this expensive private school and cost my parents soooo much money. She seems to be implying sometimes that she should get more when they are gone. But her tuition cost them more then three time what mine cost. It’s very silly and I do correct her when I’m present when she says this, but I’ve heard that she tells relatives this story when she is at family events and I am not there.

But someone who doesn’t know the truth might think my parents were very unfair when that isn’t at all the case.

Your parents were actually very unfair. They gave your sibling 3x more money than they gave you. This is unacceptable. You should complain and demand that they give you the same amount. Cut them off if they don't. They have created a mess in your family.