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What's the Most Obnoxious Thing You've Heard a Parent Say at Your DC's Private School?
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Anonymous
New poster here. I would love to see what you look like because you sound like SUCH A PATHETIC POSEUR. And so, how's James Bond doing these days??? Are you two close? 
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Anonymous
| Comparing Brioni to Brooks Brothers is like comparing a Ferrari to a Mercedes. Brooks Brothers is by no means high end, but it is not economy. It's all about practicality. |
Anonymous
Ouch! It's funny you highlight the not dressing well and/or being pretty: that's what I see in the young nannies that work for my friends, and would never think that I'd be confused for one! I remember the Patricia Williams essay about being assumed to be her (lighter) daughter's nanny all the time and how challenging that was for her; I didn't realize that now being casual was a marker as well. |
Anonymous
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tom ford designs the black fleece label for brooks brothers. let's bash a store that deserves it --- pottery barn! |
Anonymous
This thread just gets better and better. |
Anonymous
| bashing pottery barn is so 1990s |
Anonymous
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Here's a recap of all the posts responding to OP's original question (minus the back and forth flaming). Who has others?
At a school outing, some parents were chatting at a table. Among the parents were a husband and wife who were both chaperoning. The husband was describing how he and his wife met and said that they had a great first date at which she ate heartily, and her big breasts were a bid draw, too. Awkward silence among the other chaperones at that comment! Fellow mom claimed that she had gotten the admin of the boys' school our respective sons attend to get her a copy of the sister school's directory. This is the book that has students' names, parents' names, addresses, emails, and telephones. This mom claimed that she had had to request this book because soooo many girls were calling her son, who has soooo many girlfriends and whom everybosy loves, that she was going to have to call up those girls' parents to get the phone calls to stop. She offered to get a copy for me, too, in a further show of how "in" she is with our school's admin. I said yes, just to see whether she would really get me a copy. She never did give me a copy, and it's been several months. I remember one great story from when my DC was a frosh. This very rich parent, whom I barely knew, with her boat, private jet, multiple homes, etc. -- I think decided she needed to "adopt me" since I didn't have all of those luxuries. Even though DC was only a frosh...she said she would "help us" for college admissions since she presumed her kid would have no trouble getting into college...in particular with athletic recruiting...and presumed mine would not. Fast forward to the present...my kid was recruited to an Ivy...hers was a walk on to a mid-range university. How presumptous of her to think her kid would outshine mine! During the q& a portion of a big 3 school tour, a prospective parent of a preschooler stated/asked the AD in front of about 50 others: We think our son is very gifted... What will your school do to ensure he is fully challenged? during the Q&A portion of a Big 3 school tour for parents of children applying to 7th grade, a parent raised his hand and how much more money the school was seeking in order to finish the massive construction project we could see outside the windows. The obvious implication was that this parent was in a position to write a check. The child did not join the class (as my DC did), but I don't know whether the child got in or not. One parent at a competitive K-12 told me that my DD's K-8 school was not the first-choice school for anyone in my DDs class. My DDs k-8 school would only be chosen as a back-up option. These are exact words. As in, nobody -really- wanted to go to my kid's school but we were left with no other alternative. "Do you want a shot?" as father held out a bottle of tequila during his son's late-morning 5 year old birthday party. No glass was offered, just the bottle. I am not kidding. "Where is the bathroom?" -- my question at another birthday party for older child. Answer: "There are three along this hallway, pick one." Hallway was off the kitchen on the main floor. "I love this school and can't believe what a bargain it is!" From the wife of a Billionaire in front of others who were sacrificing to send their children there. At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is. Said by a mom: "NAME HERE" is paying attention to who he runs around with now (age 13). If they aren't cool, he doesn't want anything to do with them. I don't blame him. --- I appreciated the warning notice from both mother and son. Near the beginning of the year in K when I called a parent to request a playdate and she told me her child was solidly booked for the next two months between playdates and lessons. "Booked" me for December and mentioned she'd let me know if anything opened up before then. My son became good friends with another boy at school, and one day I sent a friendly email to the boy's mother, asking whether he would like to come over for a playdate. I received a brisk, four-sentence response: Thank you for your kind invitation. Unfortunately, ___ is not available on Friday. Perhaps we can find another time at some point the future. I will be in touch. Translation: don't call me, I'll call you. Never heard from her again. Too bad - our sons really are great friends. Said another father to my husband while peeking at the inner label of his suit. "Two words. Brooks Brothers." He wasn't joking. I once went to a group playdate and several moms had a whole loud conversation about how they HATE Bethany Beach and think the Outer Banks is so much better. Meanwhile there were several other parents, me included, who go to Bethany every summer, who didn't really participate in the conversation and just looked at each other while trying to be polite. Mine was not in a private school setting but at my 3 yr old son's soccer practice. He was taking the orange cones and instead of dribbling around them, placing them on his head and being goofy. Another little boy was watching him and then started to do it too (obviously he thought it was fun). I smiled at his mom and she gave me a curt smile back, but I later I saw her take her son aside and tell him that he shouldn't play with my son. I felt really sorry for her kid - our kids were having fun. Potomac School prospective K parent talk with the head. A father commented on how beautiful the grounds were (which is accurate), and then went on to ask if there were "equestrian opportunities" at the school. I've had a mother or two ask what I'm wearing and then pull my collar back so they could read the label. Thought I was doing a fellow parent's son a favor by telling the parent that my son had told me that hers was doing something at school that violated the honor code. The father, a lawyer, called me and I was astonished to find him in full lawyer mode. His first words to me was a question asked as if I were a witness under cross-examination: "What is your son's exposure in this?" When I was in HS (big 3), we were playing in the front yard of my friend's large home and his father (hi-powered exec) pointed at a black squirrel running across the grass and said "hey, look... a <insert n-word> squirrel." On 3rd grade son being rejected at the Potomac school "We would not have gone there anyway - the quality is not there - they let the kids in starting at K before you can tell if they have issues". (this woman's son now attends St. Albans). Yuck! Going back to the original post -- it was what was not said. In K, my DS had a simply marvelous and insightful compliment about a somewhat unusual looking child of a DC political operative. When I passed on the compliment -- the mother stared at me blankly and said nothing. Wow. I was trying to be nice by passing on something pleasant about her child. Turned me off of the whole crowd. On our admissions tour at Sidwell many years ago one of the parent tour guides told us she was glad they taught Spanish because her child could talk to "the help" (yes, she phrased it that way), her fellow tour guide (who happened to be Argentinian) and those of us on the tour all stared at her like she had 2 heads. The same tour guide, when I asked what happened if a 4 year old fell asleep during rest time told me that "if your child is that developmentally delayed, maybe your nanny should pick him up at noon". Ouch! One mother showed up drunk with her thong hanging out of her skinny jeans, she's pushing max density, at a movie date and proceeded to get into a fight with a college student over seats. The college student, hardly intimidated, called her out for being a fat, over-privileged slob. Anytime we see her she's much more polite. DH and DC were at a school sponsored camping trip. Last day included a scavenger hunt. Some Dad on another team approaches DH, says his group is lost, and asks how to get to a particular point. DH gives him directions. Other Dad shrieks "SUCKAS!!!" and runs back to his team chortling.... |
Anonymous
| Wow! You haved a lot of time on your hands. |
Anonymous
yes I haved! |
Anonymous
| First day of upper school at my K-12 school in California - The (very wealthy) father to his son, "Now, XX, I don't want you to make a big deal about how well off we are. Try and blend in with the other students." Son to father: "Well, Dad, if that's the case, do you think you could have XX (the chauffeur) drop me off in the Jaguar, instead of the Rolls?" |
Anonymous
| Lucky I wasn't there, I prefer Kauai and St. Barts to Bethany or OBX, I probably would have put my foot in it! |
Anonymous
Tax breaks are not entitled by law. They are written in by politicians to appease special interests groups. Are corn farmers ENTITLED to subsidies? Only because a lobbyist for the corn farmers made it happen. No where in the constitution does it ENTITLE corn farmers to this. Schools opt to offer FA to anyone they so choose, as is there right. For you to act as if this somehow removes the right to criticize from the recipients is beyond rebuke. You clearly have no understanding of privilege. Enjoy living with your head in the sand on the real issues that real people face. Ignorance such as yours should not be celebrated, but clearly is. Well done. |
Anonymous
PLease do not write about law if you do not know law. A law such codified in the US tax code creates an entitlement whether or not the law is in the US consitution. Financial aid from a private school in the form of a grant is a gift. A recipient has not entitlement to financial aid, as is evidnet in that financial aid can be withdrawn or decreased the following year at the will of the school. You defenders of FA recipients' right to criticize the food are missing the distinction between being entitled to say something and knowing that to say so would be bad manners (and hence possibly "obnoxious" to listeners). Of course the FA recipient has the right to criticize anything about the school, including the food. If her child is very displeased with the food, she has every right ot tell the school. However, to make a gratuitous, negative comment to other parents at a school dinner was in very poor taste. Freedom of speech in the US constitution means that it's manners, not entitlement, that is at issue when discussing "obnoxious" things we've heard other parents say. |
Anonymous
Why was it gratuitous? Is it only people who are on FA that shouldn't say anything negative about the food? Or is it in poor taste for anyone to make a note about the poor taste of the food. I think there is a basic philosophic values difference going on here. Some of us think that once you are in the school, you are a full-fledged member of the community. There are others who think that FA means you are some kind of second class citizen. Some of us think that suggesting that someone on FA is a lesser member of the community is a very, very ugly notion. |
Anonymous
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If a person is sitting at a table among people known to hold her in contempt, she is far more likely to blunder socially. It is at the most awkward moments that we sometimes say the most awkward things. When we are at ease, we are far less likely to blunder socially. The truly polite person, puts all around her at ease. The judgmental person puts no one at ease, and then, sadly is left to hear the poor manners of the uncomfortable person being judged.
Not sure any of the above would apply to aggressive collar grabbing & label peering, though. 
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