I was so close and now I’m shut out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

It’s an excellent example.

+1 we went through this in 2021 realizing by not pulling the trigger in 2019 we would have to pay almost $100k more for the same thing. Now of course we feel lucky we bought in 2021. But it was so depressing at the time. A few close friends bought in 2022. We all ended up spending more than planned. But we have houses now that we love, so the sting of of our carefully saved money being worth so much less is mostly gone. No point in dwelling on what we can't have, when we are happy with what we do have.

I think if OP can find something she likes that she can afford she'll hopefully find happiness in that.

[Anonymous]

The way the bidding wars were going, it's likely if one was on the cusp of affordability, which it sounds like OP was, it was never going to happen anyway. Heck, even being able to afford a house in a certain neighborhood doesn't mean you'll get one. Many of us homebuyers had to go through the heartbreak of losing the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood due to a better offer or some contingency. For us, third time was a charm and it wasn't what we were looking for at first. 10 years later and I still love my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

You know nothing about her life so you have no reason to be so judgmental. You’re assuming her life was just like yours and you’re shaming her for not making the decisions you would have made in your life. Nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was so close to buying in 2020 and 2021 and now those properties I could afford at 1.2 and 3% are at 1.7 and 6.8% and I am locked out of the UMC for the rest of my life. No equity here.

Moral of the story: buy at $900K when interest rates are 3%, even if you’re dreaming to get into the $1.2m house.

But what you can afford as soon as possible. The equity gains will compound any increases in your salary. Trying to save income alone isn’t enough because prices generally are also going up and it’s difficult to stay ahead of the price increases.

but will there be equity gains now that are as significant as the last few years? If I buy now - I feel like I'm buying at the top of the market - which may not go down but I doubt will go up as significantly as it has.

its easy to look back and say yeah - should've bought that 900k home a couple years ago - but what do we do right now.

Here's a different way to look at things, we bought our first house in the exurbs in 2008 (market downturn) for 500k, we sold it in 2019 for only 60k appreciation. However, we went from 30yr on a 15 yr mortgage during our stay ended by net 200k profit when we sold and bought in Bethesda. Sure, our price appreciation was only 60k but we managed to save 140k by simply paying our mortgage. This time around our house has appreciated 300k in 4 years but it's very hard to time the market.

Paying down your mortgage is an equity gain compared to renting.

true if you intend to live in the house a while.

Not quite right though because you need to think about what you could have made investing the downpayment in the stock market for all those years. You would have made a few hundred thousand dollars. So not sure looking at the equity alone is financially sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

You know nothing about her life so you have no reason to be so judgmental. You’re assuming her life was just like yours and you’re shaming her for not making the decisions you would have made in your life. Nonsense.

Sure sure sure, but OP has also made cringe statements about never becoming “upper middle class,” and has acted like a victim at every turn. (The market, a landlord who won’t negotiate with her, no one will want to marry her, etc.) And all this despite being in a stronger financial than the majority of people in this area.

The best I can say is that, if this is the type of person she is in real life and not just blowing off steam, is that I hope she had a therapist or at least a loving friend she can talk to. Someone in that mindset is never going to be happy. For her own sake, as well as her kids’ wellbeing, something has to change.

[Anonymous]

You need to do many of us had to do. Buy a starter home for much cheaper, build some equity, and then slowly move up, sell your house buy a new house and so on and so forth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

You know nothing about her life so you have no reason to be so judgmental. You’re assuming her life was just like yours and you’re shaming her for not making the decisions you would have made in your life. Nonsense.

Sure sure sure, but OP has also made cringe statements about never becoming “upper middle class,” and has acted like a victim at every turn. (The market, a landlord who won’t negotiate with her, no one will want to marry her, etc.) And all this despite being in a stronger financial than the majority of people in this area.

The best I can say is that, if this is the type of person she is in real life and not just blowing off steam, is that I hope she had a therapist or at least a loving friend she can talk to. Someone in that mindset is never going to be happy. For her own sake, as well as her kids’ wellbeing, something has to change.

DP here. Yes OP is obviously down on herself right now. But that's why we shouldn't be nasty to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

You know nothing about her life so you have no reason to be so judgmental. You’re assuming her life was just like yours and you’re shaming her for not making the decisions you would have made in your life. Nonsense.

Sure sure sure, but OP has also made cringe statements about never becoming “upper middle class,” and has acted like a victim at every turn. (The market, a landlord who won’t negotiate with her, no one will want to marry her, etc.) And all this despite being in a stronger financial than the majority of people in this area.

The best I can say is that, if this is the type of person she is in real life and not just blowing off steam, is that I hope she had a therapist or at least a loving friend she can talk to. Someone in that mindset is never going to be happy. For her own sake, as well as her kids’ wellbeing, something has to change.

This is concern trolling and IMO bullying behavior. Stop throwing the word "therapy" around like an underhanded insult (yes, it's clear your are using that work to take a dig at her). It contributes to the stigma around mental illness and is offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

You know nothing about her life so you have no reason to be so judgmental. You’re assuming her life was just like yours and you’re shaming her for not making the decisions you would have made in your life. Nonsense.

Sure sure sure, but OP has also made cringe statements about never becoming “upper middle class,” and has acted like a victim at every turn. (The market, a landlord who won’t negotiate with her, no one will want to marry her, etc.) And all this despite being in a stronger financial than the majority of people in this area.

The best I can say is that, if this is the type of person she is in real life and not just blowing off steam, is that I hope she had a therapist or at least a loving friend she can talk to. Someone in that mindset is never going to be happy. For her own sake, as well as her kids’ wellbeing, something has to change.

This is concern trolling and IMO bullying behavior. Stop throwing the word "therapy" around like an underhanded insult (yes, it's clear your are using that work to take a dig at her). It contributes to the stigma around mental illness and is offensive.

Fair enough; I don’t see reference to therapy or hoping someone has a trusted friend to talk to as a dig—but as someone who has suffered from depression, including a nasty bout of postpartum depression, I also don’t see much point beating around the bush or encouraging wallowing. You’re right my words weren’t worded as well as they could be.

To OP, in all honesty I hope you find something that’ll make you happy—but truly, it sounds like you have many blessings and I hope you can focus on those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was so close to buying in 2020 and 2021 and now those properties I could afford at 1.2 and 3% are at 1.7 and 6.8% and I am locked out of the UMC for the rest of my life. No equity here.

I bought at 4% last year in a dumpy 1M house in a really nice neighborhood and I hate it!!! The grass is always greener.

[Anonymous]

You are single at 50 and need a 2 million dollar home? Wtf. Lady I have 2 kids and a 700K home.

[Anonymous]

The level of toxicity and shaming on here for struggling buyers is obscene. Prices and rates are up. It's objectively a bad time to be a buyer. Regardless of what you'd buy or would have done differently, have some decency people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The level of toxicity and shaming on here for struggling buyers is obscene. Prices and rates are up. It's objectively a bad time to be a buyer. Regardless of what you'd buy or would have done differently, have some decency people.

You’re not struggling in any way if you’re looking at $1M houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your original budget of $1.2 @ 3% works out to around $5,000/mo, which with today's interest rates would mean you could afford about $800,000.

There are currently 120 homes for sale in DC proper for $800,000 or less, and 897 homes for sale at that price point in the general commuting area.

Sorry you waited too long and can't get the exact house in the exact neighborhood you think you deserve, but there are plenty of houses you can afford. Quit whining and pick one.

This!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend back when he was 28 bought a huge beautiful home in a super nice area with award winning schools as a single person with average income. His secret live at home 21-27 to save up downpayment. He picked a home on a corner with side entrance to basement. He carved out a little 200 SF apt for himself. Rented whole upstairs and rented other 3/4/ of basement. He lived there till married at 36. Eventually by 44 they took over whole house.

Most people won’t do that. But that is how a middle class person owns a home now worth 2 million.

Most people want it HGTV turnkey

“His secret” was to have parents who own a home in a major city already