PSA: Please bring…

[Anonymous]

“My kid won’t wear headphones.” So much of this fear based parenting. You crumble to what your kids wants because you are afraid of their reaction. This is how you raise a monster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“My kid won’t wear headphones.” So much of this fear based parenting. You crumble to what your kids wants because you are afraid of their reaction. This is how you raise a monster.

The monsters here are people like you who can't imagine what it is like to have a child who is different from yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Air travel is getting harder for everyone. Expecting someone who has done the work to keep their kids quiet to listen to your kids iPad is pretty sociopathic. I expect there to be an uptick in parents with kids like this being asked to leave planes.

The fact that your drug your children for the convenience of adults doesn't make anyone else a sociopath, it makes you a selfish and irresponsible parent.

I don’t drug my kid? I taught her from the beginning that screen time comes with headphones and got her age and sensory appropriate headphones, because my work involves a lot of air travel. No one is forced to fly with their kid, they’re making both a choice to fly and a choice to rely on screens to entertain their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“My kid won’t wear headphones.” So much of this fear based parenting. You crumble to what your kids wants because you are afraid of their reaction. This is how you raise a monster.

I also assume parents like this don’t deal with any significant medical challenges with their children where not doing/wearing something is an option. Kids with severe photosensitivity or XP don’t get to just “not wear” hats and sunglasses— it’s either wear them or stay indoors. It’s hard to judge whether the parents are afraid of saying no to their kids or afraid of inconveniencing themselves.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The Atlantic just had an article on this today: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/12/parents-flying-with-baby-children-crying-airplane-travel/672523/

Consider that the parents with kids without headphones aren't trying to be inconsiderate jerks, they're actually trying their best to keep their kid quite in challenging circumstances.

I read the article. I understand that traveling with young kids is difficult but still think that parents should at least bring headphones and try to get kids to wear them. If it doesn't work out, try to keep the volume at a reasonable level, or even better, apologize to the people around you for the noise. As to the author's example of a kid enjoying banging the tray table, if the parent apologized for the disturbance, I would be much more likely to say, "No worries, the child is just having fun. I don't mind at all." However, if my seat is continuously kicked or banged for hours on end with no acknowledgment of the intrusion, I will probably judge the parent for being an inconsiderate jerk.

So we should pack headphones we know our child won't wear so we can performatively try to get our child to wear them in front of you?

Turn it down, A-hole.

They can wear headphones or watch it muted or just not watch the iPad/phone/whatever.

-parent of 2 young kids…it’s hard to keep them occupied on a plane but it’s not acceptable to just subject other passengers to listening to your noise

If your kids wear headphones, that's fantastic. Mine does not. You can insist that she would if I were just a better parent, but that's your fantasy, not reality.

Pp you’re responding to but I wouldn’t say that about your or anyone bc of an issue like this. I don’t think you’re a bad parent if your kid doesn’t want to wear headphones (you can’t force your kid to wear headphones). But I do think you’re a bad parent if you allow your kid to disturb others on a flight.

By the time we put on the screen I suspect most around us are relieved even if they can hear some muffled music behind the white noise. If I had to guess it is not the screen that bother people, it is my child.

I don’t think this is true. Adults with unmuted devices are just as bothersome.

You don't understand. Nobody has ever complained to us about the video or accompanying noise. Maybe they all just silently seething or posting on social media about it like OP (you know, the adult thing to do) but my guess is after listening to us play with our 3 yo for hours, sing to her, bring out different toys, etc and she has started getting whiny, they are relieved when she quiets down a bit, even if it comes with a bit of music. Since I can't read minds I can only guess at what people around me prefer.

I'm not embarrassed that my child can't sit quietly for 5 hours. What kind of parent would be? Who expects that out of a toddler?

You may be right that people prefer the kids’ iPad noise to the kid being whiny/screaming. But that’s not the only alternative. The other choice is to MAKE YOUR KID WEAR HEADPHONES WHEN ON THEIR DEVICE.

If you refuse to understand that some children will not wear headphones you deserve all the aggravation that this is clearly causing you.

DP. I don’t think anyone doesn’t understand that some kids don’t prefer headphones, but those are children who need to be entertained by something other than a noisy tablet when in public.

Then those people need to read the conversation above, and if they still feel determined to get worked up about this then I cannot help you.

You mean the conversation in which everyone believes their kid can’t be expected to behave because “reasons”?

Nobody actually thinks toddlers should be able to sit quietly for 5 hours. Troll.

Sit quietly? No. Require an unmuted iPad as their only possible means of entertainment? Also no. Just own the laziness.

For one hour of a five hour flight trust me the other passengers are often relieved to get a break from the whining and squealing. Be glad you aren't traveling in the 90s.

It’s a false dichotomy that the only choices are whining and squealing or an unmuted iPad. Those are the choices you are making, those are not the only choices available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:headphones or earbuds for your children to watch videos on their devices when on the plane. It’s not your living room.

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Well, aren’t you prissy. Why don’t you charter a flight for yourself or fly via private jet? Rich people have the luxury of picking and choosing who they’re going to travel with.
If you’re not rich enough, then you’re just out of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:headphones or earbuds for your children to watch videos on their devices when on the plane. It’s not your living room.

- 30 -

Well, aren’t you prissy. Why don’t you charter a flight for yourself or fly via private jet? Rich people have the luxury of picking and choosing who they’re going to travel with.
If you’re not rich enough, then you’re just out of luck.

In this instance, if you’re “not rich enough” you have a word with the flight attendant and she either moves or silences the inadequate parents. Much cheaper than flying private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:headphones or earbuds for your children to watch videos on their devices when on the plane. It’s not your living room.

- 30 -

Well, aren’t you prissy. Why don’t you charter a flight for yourself or fly via private jet? Rich people have the luxury of picking and choosing who they’re going to travel with.
If you’re not rich enough, then you’re just out of luck.

So you are saying poor people should have no expectation of courtesy? Are poor people incapable of courtesy? Do tell!

[Anonymous]

I'm going to start off by admitting I'm a lazy parent, but my toddlers didn't know that the iPad could make noise. They thought it was device for playing silent games and watching videos they'd seen a million times so they didn't need the sound because they had it memorized.

I'm not going to fight about headphones with a 2 year old. So, that was a solution.

Just throwing out another option there. It's possible your kids are smarter than mine and this won't work.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Flight attendant asked family for child to turn down iPad sound. Parent told child some people asked to turn the sound down and child did so. When we landed we were a little surprised to see that that kid was more likely in the 5-7 age range.

For me, I will get a second pair of noise canceling headphones as I had lent my other pair to DC to use while studying for finals. I am still baffled at some of the replies here on how the choices are either iPad sound on or screaming kid. We used to plan out a series of discrete activities for the plane and pack accordingly when our kids were young. So we might read aloud in quiet voices, color, match stickers to images, etc. I packed snacks/lunches in bags with lots of things to unwrap to take up travel time.

I grew up with a sibling with a developmental disability so am quite familiar with a neurodivergent world from a very early age. Parents can still try to model what their children should strive for in public as well as how we can all extend grace when most needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Flight attendant asked family for child to turn down iPad sound. Parent told child some people asked to turn the sound down and child did so. When we landed we were a little surprised to see that that kid was more likely in the 5-7 age range.

For me, I will get a second pair of noise canceling headphones as I had lent my other pair to DC to use while studying for finals. I am still baffled at some of the replies here on how the choices are either iPad sound on or screaming kid. We used to plan out a series of discrete activities for the plane and pack accordingly when our kids were young. So we might read aloud in quiet voices, color, match stickers to images, etc. I packed snacks/lunches in bags with lots of things to unwrap to take up travel time.

I grew up with a sibling with a developmental disability so am quite familiar with a neurodivergent world from a very early age. Parents can still try to model what their children should strive for in public as well as how we can all extend grace when most needed.

I'm the ipad or screaming poster. I will say for a short flight (2 hours or less) we don't bring out the iPad at all. For a cross country flight, the activities only last us so long. And when we do bring it out, the volume is quite low, which is probably why we have never been asked to turn it off. If you insist that it must have been too loud anyway, I can only tell you that I myself could barely hear it, and maybe "extending grace" can include not feeling the compulsion to assume we were torturing our fellow passengers when you weren't even there.

I'm glad you were able to entertain your kids for so long. We have only taken a few flights with DD. Bear in mind, not everyone flies for every vacation/holiday. We mostly drive to see family, as do most of our friends. Maybe we are not as savvy as you (and are also not destroying the planet as much as you, fwiw).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Flight attendant asked family for child to turn down iPad sound. Parent told child some people asked to turn the sound down and child did so. When we landed we were a little surprised to see that that kid was more likely in the 5-7 age range.

For me, I will get a second pair of noise canceling headphones as I had lent my other pair to DC to use while studying for finals. I am still baffled at some of the replies here on how the choices are either iPad sound on or screaming kid. We used to plan out a series of discrete activities for the plane and pack accordingly when our kids were young. So we might read aloud in quiet voices, color, match stickers to images, etc. I packed snacks/lunches in bags with lots of things to unwrap to take up travel time.

I grew up with a sibling with a developmental disability so am quite familiar with a neurodivergent world from a very early age. Parents can still try to model what their children should strive for in public as well as how we can all extend grace when most needed.

This is still how responsible people bring their kids on planes. They also plan ahead so many of the items are novel, and keep high value items in reserve. They start planning a few weeks out and talk to their kids about how to behave they don’t show up and throw up their hands and say to hell with everyone else on this plane.

And honestly that’s the majority of people. I fly *a lot* and I have only once seen someone sit in on this, so I assume people know it’s how they’re supposed to behave and are just very defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Flight attendant asked family for child to turn down iPad sound. Parent told child some people asked to turn the sound down and child did so. When we landed we were a little surprised to see that that kid was more likely in the 5-7 age range.

For me, I will get a second pair of noise canceling headphones as I had lent my other pair to DC to use while studying for finals. I am still baffled at some of the replies here on how the choices are either iPad sound on or screaming kid. We used to plan out a series of discrete activities for the plane and pack accordingly when our kids were young. So we might read aloud in quiet voices, color, match stickers to images, etc. I packed snacks/lunches in bags with lots of things to unwrap to take up travel time.

I grew up with a sibling with a developmental disability so am quite familiar with a neurodivergent world from a very early age. Parents can still try to model what their children should strive for in public as well as how we can all extend grace when most needed.

This is still how responsible people bring their kids on planes. They also plan ahead so many of the items are novel, and keep high value items in reserve. They start planning a few weeks out and talk to their kids about how to behave they don’t show up and throw up their hands and say to hell with everyone else on this plane.

And honestly that’s the majority of people. I fly *a lot* and I have only once seen someone sit in on this, so I assume people know it’s how they’re supposed to behave and are just very defensive.

*dig in! Not sit in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Flight attendant just asked junior to turn down sound.

I have an audio disorder. It’s like nails on a chalk board. Once heard, it cannot be undone.

Then you probably shouldn’t leave the house. Because your *audio disorder* could just as easily be triggered by elevator music in a hotel lobby or in the airport terminal, or a loud announcement over the PA, or walking by a store that has on-screen ads, or music accompanying the flight safety video, yes?

Thanks for your ableist response.

FWIW, nearly every sound you cited is temporary, not 6+ hours.

But again, thanks for your ableism.

If you have a known issue, why don’t YOU have noise cancelling headphones? My kids do wear headphones, but you have an easy tool to help yourself and you are purposely choosing not to use it. Presumably, unlike a preschooler, you can keep headphones on your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“My kid won’t wear headphones.” So much of this fear based parenting. You crumble to what your kids wants because you are afraid of their reaction. This is how you raise a monster.

The monsters here are people like you who can't imagine what it is like to have a child who is different from yours.

Right. They’re all incapable of wearing headphones. They’re all special needs. They are all soooo unique that they couldn’t possibly do…. Life is gonna be hard for your kid and their interactions with people who aren’t you are going to be….disappointing and difficult. I’ll look forward to seeing their public freak out on Reddit in 20 years.