Husband with extreme covid paranoia

[Anonymous]

Research scientist here. He sounds very very cautious, but not in a scientific way. Perhaps he does indeed have a diagnosable mental health disorder. He doesn't need to wear 3 masks. He can wear just one N95 with head straps, they're the gold standard. Sometimes wearing several masks can cause them to leak, so you don't necessarily want to do that. Likewise, people could have held the baby, if they had tested negative with a PCR test (not antigen) and washed their hands.

It makes me sad that with a little more scientific knowledge, your family could have stayed safe and still been very cautious, but in a more reasonable and slightly more social way.

However I have to say that a nanny share for such a Covid-conscious family is surprising. Is it perhaps because you cannot afford a nanny by yourselves? Because adding a whole other family to the bubble does create significantly more risk, given that it's one you will be in contact with every day, through your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Research scientist here. He sounds very very cautious, but not in a scientific way. Perhaps he does indeed have a diagnosable mental health disorder. He doesn't need to wear 3 masks. He can wear just one N95 with head straps, they're the gold standard. Sometimes wearing several masks can cause them to leak, so you don't necessarily want to do that. Likewise, people could have held the baby, if they had tested negative with a PCR test (not antigen) and washed their hands.

It makes me sad that with a little more scientific knowledge, your family could have stayed safe and still been very cautious, but in a more reasonable and slightly more social way.

However I have to say that a nanny share for such a Covid-conscious family is surprising. Is it perhaps because you cannot afford a nanny by yourselves? Because adding a whole other family to the bubble does create significantly more risk, given that it's one you will be in contact with every day, through your child.

Can you research pulling your head out? Is there a single other reason why someone would choose a nanny share?

[Anonymous]

I recommend Zoloft for him and a different family for the nanny share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drop the share if they lied about travel. Very unsafe.

Agreed. I am with OP's DH on this one. Lost several family and friend due to Delta in India. People are lying about their status (exposure, illness) because they don't want to be inconvenienced with quarantining and lose out on school, daycare, camps. But, hey, if you want to risk your baby then do what is best. I expect many more kids to die with Delta anyways before people wise up.

[Anonymous]

Sucks for anyone who plans to have a baby right now and not stay home and provide care.

People should avoid having kids right now. Cannot believe that people got pregnant during the pandemic. Did we ever have BC or condom shortage along with TP shortage?

[Anonymous]

Extreme COVID paranoia would be to move to your secluded mansion in New Zealand. I think your DH has normal COVID paranoia because no one wants to deal with a child with a chronic lifelong health problem if they can prevent it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sucks for anyone who plans to have a baby right now and not stay home and provide care.

People should avoid having kids right now. Cannot believe that people got pregnant during the pandemic. Did we ever have BC or condom shortage along with TP shortage?

Such a dumb comment that could only be made by someone past their prime and no longer interested in or able to live their life.

[Anonymous]

I think adjusting to a more normal level of covid cautious is going to be tough because you've been humoring him for so long. Playing along with the anxiety of an anxious person tends to reinforce those anxieties. He has to build his discomfort tolerance and he won't like it. I would start by doing the stuff you find safe: do your errands, meet up with friends outside or masked inside. Accept that he will be upset and move on with your life.

[Anonymous]

I had to double check the dates on this thread. You all know there is a vaccine right??? The people dying from covid right now are overwhelmingly.... not vaccinated.
Kids are less likely to die from covid than a vaccinated adult... so ....

Zoloft.

[Anonymous]

For someone so extreme about contracting Covid, I find it very odd that he had agreed to do a Nanny share.

If he was so concerned, he would have quit his job to stay home & look after his own child.

[Anonymous]

Good grief. I would not sacrifice family bonds over such a deranged wussy husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to double check the dates on this thread. You all know there is a vaccine right??? The people dying from covid right now are overwhelmingly.... not vaccinated.
Kids are less likely to die from covid than a vaccinated adult... so ....

Zoloft.

There's actually a spike in young kids hospitalized with Covid with RSV complications. Although to be fair the OPs husband seems more concerned about himself getting Covid than anyone else in that family - she didn't even mention the baby after he locked himself in a room post-exposure.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. That sounds stressful. I'm the Covid cautious one in my family because our two kids are too young to be vaccinated. I've been isolated after working from home for the past 18 months. My husband convinced me to go to a large event yesterday with a lot of people whom I hadn't seen in quite some time. It did me a world of good to help level set my head. I left there realizing I need to get out more and connect with friends and family more. My point is, my recommendation to you is to slowly help your husband spend time with family and friends to help him reset as well. Changing what you think about on a daily basis is so important for mental health. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Whose idea was it to get the nanny share - yours or his? Do you both work full-time? Who vetted the sharing family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Extreme COVID paranoia would be to move to your secluded mansion in New Zealand. I think your DH has normal COVID paranoia because no one wants to deal with a child with a chronic lifelong health problem if they can prevent it.

What is the evidence for babies acquiring (expected) chronic lifelong health problems due to Covid?