Parents of non-binary/trans kids

[Anonymous]

I hate the name my daughter chose. Well not really the name. But the name doesn’t match her at all - Emma. It seems like I should have had some say. Haha. There is nothing you can do, OP. I use my daughter’s name/pronouns. But I don’t like it.

[Anonymous]

I’m just wondering if parents would be so willing to accept it if their child changed their same-gender name and made you use it? Like you named him Luke and then he asked to be called David and then Jason and then Norman? Would we go along with it when he was 12?

[Anonymous]

To 16:50, if my child's name gave him/her distress, then I'd do my best to alleviate that distress, regardless of gender. For trans people, their birth name doesn't match their new identity. For cis people, I can't imagine a name change would be as essential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry OP, it will change. All of my DC's friends have change their names multiple times over the last year. So, just don't sweat it. Its really not your biggest concern.

Think of it like hair: it can be changed and its not yours.

When did this start becoming a normal thing?

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with names, I draw the line at treatments which would impair future fertility or breastfeeding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry OP, it will change. All of my DC's friends have change their names multiple times over the last year. So, just don't sweat it. Its really not your biggest concern.

Think of it like hair: it can be changed and its not yours.

When did this start becoming a normal thing?

Last couple of years or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not even super pro trans everything but even I think OP has to let this one go. 3 out of 4 of my 11 year old daughter’s closest friends have all changed their preferred name this year. Probably they will change again at some point. They’re just exploring different aspects of their identities. NBD.

What does it mean to be “super pro trans everything”?

In my case, it means that while I am very much in support of deconstructing the gender dichotomy and allowing kids to explore different identities through clothes or hair, I will not accept everything my tween or teen wants to do without question.

[Anonymous]

OP here and thank you for these comments! You have really helped me accept it, and now I’m just used to it. It really is no big deal.

[Anonymous]

This post really resonates with me. My non-binary child's preferred name is part of their birth name, but different enough that it was tough at first. To be fair, we named them after a family member, so it was hard for the change at first. However, after a few months we all got used to it - and the comfort they feel with their preferred name is visible. Best of luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry OP, it will change. All of my DC's friends have change their names multiple times over the last year. So, just don't sweat it. Its really not your biggest concern.

Think of it like hair: it can be changed and its not yours.

When did this start becoming a normal thing?

I am not transgender but I changed my name when I was a teen. I started going by my middle name for a while because it sounded cooler to me, I guess. I eventually went back to my first name. I honestly don't think it's that out of the ordinary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry OP, it will change. All of my DC's friends have change their names multiple times over the last year. So, just don't sweat it. Its really not your biggest concern.

Think of it like hair: it can be changed and its not yours.

When did this start becoming a normal thing?

I am not transgender but I changed my name when I was a teen. I started going by my middle name for a while because it sounded cooler to me, I guess. I eventually went back to my first name. I honestly don't think it's that out of the ordinary.

This. In some ways, this name-changing is just an extension and change of context for typical normal teen experimentation from The Olden Days.

[Anonymous]

We are in the same boat with a teen. I really dislike the chosen name and although it is a real name, ie, not “soup”, it is an odd choice. I’ve come to accept it but it took me months to stop saying the old name. I keep hoping we can pick a name we both like, but there is resistance to that. I really mourn the name I spent so much time choosing but I know I need to get over it.

[Anonymous]

This is a genuine question, as I have a close friend who’s child has chosen an unusual name, not a word that is typically used as a name. How would you feel if your child indeed chose the name Soup?
You love your child and want your child to feel seen and supported, so you have to go with it no matter, correct? (And I realize the name could change again as it has already changed once.)
Do other people have experience with names that are nouns or words, like a food item, that is typically never ever used for a name? How did you adjust to it? How did you frame it for yourself in your own mind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is ftm as an adult and I really struggle with the name he’s chosen. I don’t like it at all. But I deal with it. I hate that the birth name is called the dead name and won’t use that term, though I also won’t use the birth name. Luckily my son doesn’t need me to erase all his past mementos or photos or keepsakes.

I feel the same exact way about the term “dead name”. I keep it to myself but just want you to know you’re not alone with your feelings about that phrase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a genuine question, as I have a close friend who’s child has chosen an unusual name, not a word that is typically used as a name. How would you feel if your child indeed chose the name Soup?
You love your child and want your child to feel seen and supported, so you have to go with it no matter, correct? (And I realize the name could change again as it has already changed once.)
Do other people have experience with names that are nouns or words, like a food item, that is typically never ever used for a name? How did you adjust to it? How did you frame it for yourself in your own mind?

Most of the enby kids in my child's peer group have chosen what I would have called "nature names" back in my youth. Is it truly a random food item, like Soup, or is it an unusual but not utterly random name like Elm?