Anyone else’s kid shed their belongings before college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She’s keeping the sentimental stuff (taking half of it with her and leaving the other half at home). But she’s getting rid of a ton of stuff. 15+ bags so far.

So...what do you think she is supposed to do with it???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She’s keeping the sentimental stuff (taking half of it with her and leaving the other half at home). But she’s getting rid of a ton of stuff. 15+ bags so far.

What’s the issue? I would just say the budget is limited so keep stuff you think you’ll need over the next few years: sweaters, boots, bathing suits, accessories. If she wants to be minimalist or is shedding her old vibe, that’s fine (normal!), but make sure she knows it’s too expensive to replace many things..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She’s keeping the sentimental stuff (taking half of it with her and leaving the other half at home). But she’s getting rid of a ton of stuff. 15+ bags so far.

So...what do you think she is supposed to do with it???

+1 I also think teens today are different from teens in the past. They don't need a ton of books, music, toys etc. because most of their entertainment comes from their phone. Sounds like your kid is organized and not a pack rat OP. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. I'm confused. Is she giving everything she owns and is meaningfully to her away (clothes and belongings) before leaving for college or is she just donating clothes to Goodwill (or where ever) and taking stuff to college?

OP here. She is giving away many things to Goodwill. Of the rather small amount of things she’s not bringing to Goodwill, she plans to bring almost all of it with her to college and leave a very, very small portion at home.

Have a DD the same age. She also just gave away a lot of stuff. She knows she’s not wearing most of it I’m college, doesn’t have room for it. I think absent other signs that she’s never coming home again, I wouldn’t worry. Is she going to college across the country or with a 4 hour drive? If the latter, I’d expect her to leave winter stuff. If she’s going farther she’ll likely take everything she thinks she’ll need for the year but may leave things like ski gear, snow boots, beach stuff that she may want, but not at college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she giving away things you find meaningful or that she does? I went through this with my sentimental mother who can’t part with anything. One example, I had a favorite Jean jacket in 6th grade. I loved it so she saved it. I didn’t care about it by college but refused to throw it out or let me donate. I’m in my 40s and had an argument with her recently when I found it in her basement and was sneaking it out. There is no attachment to that old jacket. She thought my tween daughter would want it. No.

I got rid of everything. Yearbooks, prom dresses, you name it. I am a minimalist who can’t stand clutter. My sister is the same and we think part of us are the way we are because our parents saved everything.

So really look to see if she’s depressed and these are warning signs or if she’s doing a massive clean out.

Really? My tween niece regularly shopped thrift stores and people's closets for ancient stuff like that -- and jean jackets are in now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she giving away things you find meaningful or that she does? I went through this with my sentimental mother who can’t part with anything. One example, I had a favorite Jean jacket in 6th grade. I loved it so she saved it. I didn’t care about it by college but refused to throw it out or let me donate. I’m in my 40s and had an argument with her recently when I found it in her basement and was sneaking it out. There is no attachment to that old jacket. She thought my tween daughter would want it. No.

I got rid of everything. Yearbooks, prom dresses, you name it. I am a minimalist who can’t stand clutter. My sister is the same and we think part of us are the way we are because our parents saved everything.

So really look to see if she’s depressed and these are warning signs or if she’s doing a massive clean out.

Really? My tween niece regularly shopped thrift stores and people's closets for ancient stuff like that -- and jean jackets are in now.

That’s what my mom said too. My daughter does not want to shop at thrift stores and would prefer to pick out inexpensive athletic clothes at Target and Old Navy. My oversized jacket from the 80s with NKOTB buttons was not her style. Maybe some other kid found it and liked it. I think it went to their local thrift store when I eventually got it out.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I *had* 15 bags' worth of stuff when I left for college, but I definitely tried to clean out and pare down before I left.

I went through drawers and shelves to get rid of things I didn't want any longer unless they were things my parents had given me, because I knew they'd be offended. Those I left to get ever dustier/mustier, and then my parents tossed them when they downsized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she giving away things you find meaningful or that she does? I went through this with my sentimental mother who can’t part with anything. One example, I had a favorite Jean jacket in 6th grade. I loved it so she saved it. I didn’t care about it by college but refused to throw it out or let me donate. I’m in my 40s and had an argument with her recently when I found it in her basement and was sneaking it out. There is no attachment to that old jacket. She thought my tween daughter would want it. No.

I got rid of everything. Yearbooks, prom dresses, you name it. I am a minimalist who can’t stand clutter. My sister is the same and we think part of us are the way we are because our parents saved everything.

So really look to see if she’s depressed and these are warning signs or if she’s doing a massive clean out.

Really? My tween niece regularly shopped thrift stores and people's closets for ancient stuff like that -- and jean jackets are in now.

That’s what my mom said too. My daughter does not want to shop at thrift stores and would prefer to pick out inexpensive athletic clothes at Target and Old Navy. My oversized jacket from the 80s with NKOTB buttons was not her style. Maybe some other kid found it and liked it. I think it went to their local thrift store when I eventually got it out.

Target and Old Navy are terrible for the environment. You need to read up on fast fashion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She’s keeping the sentimental stuff (taking half of it with her and leaving the other half at home). But she’s getting rid of a ton of stuff. 15+ bags so far.

Maybe you promoted/instilled in her excessive consumerism and she just ended up with too much crap?

Nobody needs 15+ bags of "stuff".

[Anonymous]

I think she is starting her new life and leaving the old one behind. That's awesome. Fresh start, new you!

[Anonymous]

100% normal and smart.

[Anonymous]

"I got rid of everything. Yearbooks, prom dresses, you name it. I am a minimalist who can’t stand clutter."

I thought a yearbook was the one thing you are supposed to save from your high school days??? Isn't the whole point of it that it holds all the memories in one compact thing?

I'm always surprised to see how differently people categorize what goes into the Keep pile and what goes into the Donate pile. Everyone thinks the things they keep are valuable, and that the things other people keep is clutter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she is starting her new life and leaving the old one behind. That's awesome. Fresh start, new you!

Yeah I agree! My teen is a pack rat, but, she has asked me twice now if she should switch from her nickname to her real name to use in college. They are preparing to reinvent themselves. I think it's great, OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. I'm confused. Is she giving everything she owns and is meaningfully to her away (clothes and belongings) before leaving for college or is she just donating clothes to Goodwill (or where ever) and taking stuff to college?

OP here. She is giving away many things to Goodwill. Of the rather small amount of things she’s not bringing to Goodwill, she plans to bring almost all of it with her to college and leave a very, very small portion at home.

Smart kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That’s what my mom said too. My daughter does not want to shop at thrift stores and would prefer to pick out inexpensive athletic clothes at Target and Old Navy. My oversized jacket from the 80s with NKOTB buttons was not her style. Maybe some other kid found it and liked it. I think it went to their local thrift store when I eventually got it out.

You can buy inexpensive athletic clothes from Target and Old Navy at thrift stores. Maybe I shouldn't tell anybody about that, though.