Regret inviting another mom to group dinner

[Anonymous]

You invited her and she said no thanks. How did this make you feel stupid? Did I miss something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are just suffering the minor discomfort of having your assumption proved wrong. You invited her thinking you were heroically including some who was feeling left our of your circle, which is a nice thing to do and made you feel good and you likely subconsciously anticipated feeling even better when she beamed her acceptance; instead you encountered someone you didn't even have you on her radar, so more than just not getting the buzz you naturally anticipated, you actually experienced an unexpected negative emotion, which can be jarring. Like when someone doesn't like a gift you thought they'd love.

She did nothing wrong; you did nothing wring; you just read the room incorrectly. No big deal.

This. It’s nice to be inclusive. Keep asking but keep the emotional stakes low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are just suffering the minor discomfort of having your assumption proved wrong. You invited her thinking you were heroically including some who was feeling left our of your circle, which is a nice thing to do and made you feel good and you likely subconsciously anticipated feeling even better when she beamed her acceptance; instead you encountered someone you didn't even have you on her radar, so more than just not getting the buzz you naturally anticipated, you actually experienced an unexpected negative emotion, which can be jarring. Like when someone doesn't like a gift you thought they'd love.

She did nothing wrong; you did nothing wring; you just read the room incorrectly. No big deal.

This. It’s nice to be inclusive. Keep asking but keep the emotional stakes low.

+2

[Anonymous]

She could have wholeheartedly thanked the OP and graciously said she couldn’t go, but she acted like a jerk apparently. Well now you know, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are just suffering the minor discomfort of having your assumption proved wrong. You invited her thinking you were heroically including some who was feeling left our of your circle, which is a nice thing to do and made you feel good and you likely subconsciously anticipated feeling even better when she beamed her acceptance; instead you encountered someone you didn't even have you on her radar, so more than just not getting the buzz you naturally anticipated, you actually experienced an unexpected negative emotion, which can be jarring. Like when someone doesn't like a gift you thought they'd love.

She did nothing wrong; you did nothing wring; you just read the room incorrectly. No big deal.

Whoa, some of you are majorly projecting some serious hurt.

[Anonymous]

I am put off by her response, not by her not going. There are lots of things I decline on as is life, but I tend to know what to say so it's not rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am put off by her response, not by her not going. There are lots of things I decline on as is life, but I tend to know what to say so it's not rude.

Can you detail what her response was?

[Anonymous]

OP she probably is busy and doesn’t think “preschool reopening dinner” is really a thing. Or she’s not doing big indoor gatherings now and thinks you are being irresponsible.