When you caught your spouse cheating…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:News flash, they don't have to leave if they don't want to.

And it takes some balls to keep your nasty cheating arse in the house after lying and exposing your spouse to god knows what. But, selflessness and thinking of others aren’t strong traits in a cheater.

[Anonymous]

We are just going through this now. When I caught him lying, he refused to stop seeing her, so I said he could
move out the next night he went to see her which was within a week. He is like a love sick teenager and barely able to talk about finances and kids. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I’m glad to be done with him but his behavior feels like a slap in the face every day. He actually retuned the kids’ call while with this other woman. 🤮

Our 12 years together, and 9 year marriage means nothing to him now.

[Anonymous]

I cheated and he left the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cheated and he left the house.

How did he find out?

[Anonymous]

Not a marriage, but I tried going back to a boyfriend who cheated. (He admitted it the next day, in tears) It was so painful to sleep with him knowing she had…and in the same bed!

After that, he wanted to stay in contact with the woman (she was a childhood friend ). I put my foot down and left him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was newly pregnant when I found out, in June. Had the baby in January, took the baby and toddler back home (we were living overseas) the following June.

Horribly traumatic experience

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. Kudos for you for leaving. Currently in this situation (need to move overseas, impending divorce).

Hope you are ok today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cheated and he left the house.

He probably knew he would explode if he stayed there. Any remorse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which affair?

The final time I busted her on a Friday and gave her until Sunday to move out. She was out by Sunday.

Wow. Did you have kids?

No, thankfully, we did not have kids.

[Anonymous]

I left. I called my parents who rented me a house ASAP. I went to my lawyer who drew up a separation agreement. Took awhile to hash that out.

I got a bulldog attorney and took him for more than half. He lost 1/2 his business, his dream home, and took a serious hit on his retirement. Our kids don’t respect him and refuse to meet his girlfriend.

Meanwhile I’m dating a younger man and having fantastic sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left. I called my parents who rented me a house ASAP. I went to my lawyer who drew up a separation agreement. Took awhile to hash that out.

I got a bulldog attorney and took him for more than half. He lost 1/2 his business, his dream home, and took a serious hit on his retirement. Our kids don’t respect him and refuse to meet his girlfriend.

Meanwhile I’m dating a younger man and having fantastic sex.

You are very lucky you had your parents to pay and arrange that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left. I called my parents who rented me a house ASAP. I went to my lawyer who drew up a separation agreement. Took awhile to hash that out.

I got a bulldog attorney and took him for more than half. He lost 1/2 his business, his dream home, and took a serious hit on his retirement. Our kids don’t respect him and refuse to meet his girlfriend.

Meanwhile I’m dating a younger man and having fantastic sex.

You are very lucky you had your parents to pay and arrange that.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was newly pregnant when I found out, in June. Had the baby in January, took the baby and toddler back home (we were living overseas) the following June.

Horribly traumatic experience

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. Kudos for you for leaving. Currently in this situation (need to move overseas, impending divorce).

Hope you are ok today

Well, I am sorry YOU are now in this situation.

It was extremely horrible. I started over with NOTHING, just a credit card. Limited (pretty much zero) help from friends or family, and with a baby and toddler in tow. I used the cash advance from the credit card to get an apartment and a beater car, enrolled my kids in daycare/preschool, and started working. Was making very little money and decided to enroll in graduate school to create better opportunities for us all.

Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. Car died, which resulted in my asking ex to take the kids - this was meant to be temporary, but was used as an argument in court that he should be primary custodian (not helped at all by the fact that our divorce hearing was delayed a YEAR due to Covid). His attorney painted our marriage as a sham marriage (despite the established fact that we were trying to conceive our second child whilst he was cheating on me). He had the money, I didn’t. He ended up with physical and legal custody, and is planning to remain overseas until 2024. I’m sure he will further extend this.

It’s hard not to feel incredibly disillusioned. I left a husband who cheated on me, took my children with me, tried to do everything “right,” and still ended up in a losing position. I did actually complete my graduate program and will at least be able to better provide for my children financially, but being physically apart from them is hell. He is still very abusive in our communications.

Sometimes there really is no justice in this world.

Anyway I wish you the very best of luck. Please do everything you can to make sure you have a solid financial foundation before leaving, if you can bear to stay. (I couldn’t.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are just going through this now. When I caught him lying, he refused to stop seeing her, so I said he could
move out the next night he went to see her which was within a week. He is like a love sick teenager and barely able to talk about finances and kids. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I’m glad to be done with him but his behavior feels like a slap in the face every day. He actually retuned the kids’ call while with this other woman. 🤮

Our 12 years together, and 9 year marriage means nothing to him now.

I'm so sorry. I went though something similar about five years ago. My advice to you is to move quickly and decisively. He's made his choice, and now you need to secure your future and the kids' future. Guys like this will not contribute one cent more than they are legally obligated to, so do not leave anything to his good will. Put it all in writing and make sure it's enough that you won't need to ask him for any favors.