Help me tell my sister to stop giving us her leftovers

[Anonymous]

She's your sister, you should be able to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Sis, thank you for thinking of us, but please don't drop off any more things from your house. We don't need the extra stuff.

Yes, that's too harsh. "Thank you for thinking of us but we have everything we need and can't absorb the things you don't want. If you don't want something, ______ is a great place to donate to. We are not going to be able to use any of the things you're dropping off so I don't want you to waste your time or gas dropping them off anymore, although i appreciate you thinking of us."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sis, thank you for thinking of us, but please don't drop off any more things from your house. We don't need the extra stuff.

Yes, that's too harsh. "Thank you for thinking of us but we have everything we need and can't absorb the things you don't want. If you don't want something, ______ is a great place to donate to. We are not going to be able to use any of the things you're dropping off so I don't want you to waste your time or gas dropping them off anymore, although i appreciate you thinking of us."

This. It's an imposition, even though it's small. And you don't draw the line, she may do this in perpetuity, even after her move. Some people have that guilt about not wasting anything but that doesn't mean just foisting it on others.

[Anonymous]

You have a few options:

1) "Hey sis, thanks for thinking of us! We're dealing a bit with Larlo's seeming inability to get rid of any old toys (ugh, so frustrating!) so we're trying not to let too much stuff come in for the moment while we work this out with him. Could you possibly shoot a text before you drop anything else off? If it's something he'll love, then that's so great, and we're so appreciative, but we might not be able to take everything (closets starting to swell!)"

2) Deal with this from the parenting side. Honestly, you're going to have to do this eventually even if you do go with option one, so it might be worth it. "Larlo, your room and the playroom are officially cluttered, and it's impossible to see what toys you actually have or would enjoy playing with. New rule - one in, one out. If you get a new toy, you need to pick one, roughly the same size or bigger, to donate to someone who doesn't have as many toys as you." Then, when the next toy comes in, he has a choice, the new one can stay if he picks an old one to ditch, or he can reject the new one. But keeping them all isn't an option, and if he doesn't chose by, say, bedtime tomorrow, you will pick a toy to discard. Then do it - there will probably be tears, but he'll adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sis, thank you for thinking of us, but please don't drop off any more things from your house. We don't need the extra stuff.

Yes, that's too harsh. "Thank you for thinking of us but we have everything we need and can't absorb the things you don't want. If you don't want something, ______ is a great place to donate to. We are not going to be able to use any of the things you're dropping off so I don't want you to waste your time or gas dropping them off anymore, although i appreciate you thinking of us."

OMG, it’s not too harsh. This is harsh:
“Hey Sis. Stop dropping your crap off at our house. We don’t want it.”

What OP wrote was fine. Perfectly fine. Clear and to the point.

What you’ve suggested, PP, is wordy and repetitive. “…can’t absorb the things you don’t want?” Who talks like that? And what is the issue here where women feel the need to soften a “no thanks” with so much padding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Voice of dissent here. Your sister is moving, which is super stressful. Be kind and accept the stuff. Deal with your son’s hoarding by telling him “you can keep as much as will fit in (designated area). Everything else we will donate.” Your sister isn’t creating your son’s problem, but she is providing an opportunity for you to address it directly.

You can get a pickup from your front door, so donating isn’t much of a burden.

Err on the side of kindness!

WTF? Her sister can drop that stuff off at Goodwill just as easily as she can drop it off at OP’s door. Ye gods.

As the wife of someone who has hoarding tendencies, there is NO WAY I would let someone drop their unwanted stuff at my house. I have enough stuff to deal with already.

[Anonymous]

Kids can be hoarders? I just thought my kid was attached to…..everything.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you have to confront and draw a line in the sand. "We don't want your stuff. Please donate it or throw it out." My sister is like this and I was nicey nice for too long. Now when i set boundaries she ignores them which has made us drift apart even more. Set your boundaries now before she takes it farther and farther and don't be surprised if she thinks you OWE HER because she was so GENEROUS...or maybe I am I am projecting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's your sister, you should be able to be honest.

Omg yes. Too many people making a mountain out of a molehill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Change your son’s phone number. Don’t tell her.

Lol I don't think this would stop her from using OP as her personal Salvation Army drop box.
As someone who just went through a move, there's so much to purge but no one wants to deal with someone's random unwanted items either. Send a polite message asking her to stop, she needs to deal with donating or discarding them herself.