How would you tell a friend , DC is showing signs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not. 13 years ago, I mentioned to a friend that she should have her son screened. She said to me “You don’t know little boys.” Although I have a handful of brothers and even more male first cousins. Sophomore year, her son failed most of his classes. They got him a daily tutor at $1000/week. He got Cs and Ds junior year. Last year, they decided he must have ADHD and finally started the testing process, but he refused to continue once he turned 18. He flunked two classes needed for graduation and refused to do summer school. He’ll be a 19 year old fifth year senior.

You must be so happy to have been correct to predict a problem over a decade prior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed close friend DC is showing signs of delayed growth. To give examples, not speaking, constant tantrums, unable to follow direction or responds to name.

I feel extremely bad for friend and DC because I’d like for the to have some sort of early intervention with speech therapy.

I’m just not sure how to respectfully mention it.

If it's a close friend, suggest they have county infant toddler give evaluation. It includes, but is not limited to, speech therapy and it's free. Services and all. It really might include BT, OT but you can leave that part out.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god - SO not your business. Say nothing.

[Anonymous]

If she asks, be ready with resources. Otherwise, not your issue. I guarantee if you’ve noticed it, any parent is also hyper aware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know for certain that the parents are oblivious?

This is my first thought too.

Op - how do you know the parents aren't already in the process of doctor appt or on the waitlist for a specialist or awaiting approval from the insurance or any host of things?

And they might feel sheepish, embarrassed, unsure, or just not wanting to talk it over/mention it to you in the mean time.

You know, personal and private family matter- type thing.

[Anonymous]

OP as you can see from the responses here, most people would rather wallow in failure and misery than be given helpful advice from a close friend.
If we were friends I would appreciate the guidance with a problem.. but that's not true of neurotypical people. They're very rigid about how people should act and what information should be exchanges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP as you can see from the responses here, most people would rather wallow in failure and misery than be given helpful advice from a close friend.
If we were friends I would appreciate the guidance with a problem.. but that's not true of neurotypical people. They're very rigid about how people should act and what information should be exchanges.

You're assuming a lot there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP as you can see from the responses here, most people would rather wallow in failure and misery than be given helpful advice from a close friend.
If we were friends I would appreciate the guidance with a problem.. but that's not true of neurotypical people. They're very rigid about how people should act and what information should be exchanges.

You sound like a nosy Parker.

[Anonymous]

Unless it's your sibling or your best best best lifelong friend, you say nothing unless asked. You don't know what they already know, what they're already dealing with, and how they are planning to share that information.

[Anonymous]

Do you really think the parents are unaware? Just because I don’t tell you about my kid’s multiple therapies per week doesn’t mean we’re not doing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We go the MYOB route because we are constantly the target of “well-meant” advice.

So true.

There is a range of normal and I'm sure her pediatrician will provide advice. There may be so many other things that are going on for her and early intervention hasn't made it to the top of the list yet. Maybe she couldn't follow through with what she would have liked to do because of Covid.

Really, people don't respond well when you raise issues like these. And, early intervention is good but not the holy grail.

Correct early intervention isn’t a holy grail. It can help, but it’s not a panacea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP as you can see from the responses here, most people would rather wallow in failure and misery than be given helpful advice from a close friend.
If we were friends I would appreciate the guidance with a problem.. but that's not true of neurotypical people. They're very rigid about how people should act and what information should be exchanges.

I hate to burst your bubble but life with a special needs child is not “failure and misery.” In fact we are having a great time over here. We are quite aware of our child’s differences. We don’t need you to point them out and scold. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Do you really thnk there is any chance they have not noticed their child is not speaking? I have a dyslexic kid. We knew something was off starting around 3 or 4. Did I post it on social media? No...his preschool teacher and grandparents were really the only ones we wondered with at that point. By 7 we were well into testing and tutoring but only a handful of friends knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you really thnk there is any chance they have not noticed their child is not speaking? I have a dyslexic kid. We knew something was off starting around 3 or 4. Did I post it on social media? No...his preschool teacher and grandparents were really the only ones we wondered with at that point. By 7 we were well into testing and tutoring but only a handful of friends knew.

+1 This. Unless they seem really oblivious/negligent, keep your well-meaning comments to yourself. Many people get all sorts of diagnostics and supports that they may not want to tell the world about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP as you can see from the responses here, most people would rather wallow in failure and misery than be given helpful advice from a close friend.
If we were friends I would appreciate the guidance with a problem.. but that's not true of neurotypical people. They're very rigid about how people should act and what information should be exchanges.

I hate to burst your bubble but life with a special needs child is not “failure and misery.” In fact we are having a great time over here. We are quite aware of our child’s differences. We don’t need you to point them out and scold. Get a life.

Not every post is directed at you.