Five year old is driving the whole house crazy

[Anonymous]

Is there lots of new talk about kindergarten? Could be an anxiety issue.

[jsmith123]

If she's doing well at school, she might actually like having some clearer boundaries and routine. It sounds like she rules the roost a bit and that can make kids feel uncomfortable.

I know it can seem exhausting in the short term to set a boundary (like no ice cream before dinner), but it creates way more work in the longer term if you keep caving.

For your food battles, read Ellyn Satter and stick to it with her.

For the other stuff, I really like Janet Lansbury on behavior, and How to Talk so Kids Will Listen.

I hear you re: being an older Mom with limited energy, but think of it like this: If you don't invest the time & energy now into setting healthy boundaries, you'll be paying the price when you're even older with less energy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last kid (of two) is 5 and she is becoming more and more challenging every day. She hits her sister (age 10) for no reason. She screams until she gets her way (yesterday it was for ice cream before dinner). She is a horrible eater. She won’t go to the bathroom by herself (we literally have to walk her there and wait until she goes). She attends preschool and is great there. She also interacts with other children and extended family fabulously. But it’s like when it’s just the 4 of us, she pushes every boundary and makes it just hard at home.

I’m an older mom and have limited energy- she’s zapping me! I try to talk to her, give her options, give her consequences, praise her for good behavior - none seems to help. This is also relatively new behavior - since May or so. Nothing has changed at home or school to trigger any changes.

Please tell me it’s a phase! Any tips?

Hits - consequence (separation worked for us)
Screams - ignore
Horrible Eater - natural consequence = go to bed hungry unless there is a medical issue
Bathroom - take her (sometimes kids need to be taken care of and this sounds like she needs you)

She will outgrow it.

[Anonymous]

Pandas

[Anonymous]

Doubt it’s PANDAS like PP suggested. I suspect she is learning she can get what she wants at home since her bad behaviors keep getting reinforced at home. Set boundaries- consequences for acting out, ignoring for non violent/aggressive actions. It’s actually a great sign she does so well at school.

[Anonymous]

Mine is just the same. He thrives on my attention and he needs it non-stop, even if it's negative. Mine misbehaves when I pay attention to anyone other than him.