Tell me about having a live in nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny lives in our converted garage apartment. She “goes home” twenty feet away but keeps her regular nanny hours and has her own kitchen. She also goes to her daughter’s every weekend otherwise my kids would want to see her and she’s too sweet to say no to them.

I couldn’t have it any other way. It works for her and it works for us.

You should have taught your children that the nanny's living quarters are off limits to them at all times. She is not paid to take care of them if off hours.

And what if the nanny tells them “you’re always welcome” and “you can come over anytime you like”? Do I teach my kids that nanny is a liar?

You tell nanny when hired that children are not allowed to visit her in her quarters ever and they are never to call on her on her in off hours. You are the mother and have
Full responsibility for taking care of your children when nanny is off duty. She probably goes away on weekends so she can get away from you and your kids.

I'm a live-in (17.20), and I welcome the kids when it's an acceptable time. Our rules:
1. no hiding when a parent is looking for them,
2. knock on my bedroom door and wait for an answer before coming in
3. upstairs 10 minutes before they need to start getting ready for bed
4. no asking to do something with me when they know that the parents have an outing planned AND
5. they may have one bite of each thing I am eating, but if they want more, I need to talk to their parent first, so I know I'm not disrupting any plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a live-in nanny in NYC. They had a little room off the kitchen that they lived in during the week, and then went home on weekends, unless they were from another country in which case they did their own thing on weekends based out of that room.

What does your nanny do when they are off - stay in their room or hang out in the main house? none of them hung out with us, but my mother was the type to refer to nannies and housekeepers as "the help" and would never have let them hang out with her. I am pretty sure they only time they sat in the living room was for their interviews.
Do they cook their own meals or do you cook for them? They make/buy/bring their own food. They clean up after themselves. I think our housekeeper would make a plate in the kitchen for the nanny, and then we'd eat in the dining room.
Do they eat with you? Never.
Do they go out with friends after hours and come back late? Probably. It was a non-issue. As long as they were available for their hours who cares what they do out of the home on their time off?

**I am now married with kids and we have a nanny and specifically wanted someone live-out.

Live-in help has room and board provided, per government rules. They don't have to sit down with the family, but they do have to be provided with food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a live-in nanny in NYC. They had a little room off the kitchen that they lived in during the week, and then went home on weekends, unless they were from another country in which case they did their own thing on weekends based out of that room.

What does your nanny do when they are off - stay in their room or hang out in the main house? none of them hung out with us, but my mother was the type to refer to nannies and housekeepers as "the help" and would never have let them hang out with her. I am pretty sure they only time they sat in the living room was for their interviews.
Do they cook their own meals or do you cook for them? They make/buy/bring their own food. They clean up after themselves. I think our housekeeper would make a plate in the kitchen for the nanny, and then we'd eat in the dining room.
Do they eat with you? Never.
Do they go out with friends after hours and come back late? Probably. It was a non-issue. As long as they were available for their hours who cares what they do out of the home on their time off?

**I am now married with kids and we have a nanny and specifically wanted someone live-out.

Live-in help has room and board provided, per government rules. They don't have to sit down with the family, but they do have to be provided with food.

I've never heard of this. What government rules are these? Is this state or federal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a live-in nanny in NYC. They had a little room off the kitchen that they lived in during the week, and then went home on weekends, unless they were from another country in which case they did their own thing on weekends based out of that room.

What does your nanny do when they are off - stay in their room or hang out in the main house? none of them hung out with us, but my mother was the type to refer to nannies and housekeepers as "the help" and would never have let them hang out with her. I am pretty sure they only time they sat in the living room was for their interviews.
Do they cook their own meals or do you cook for them? They make/buy/bring their own food. They clean up after themselves. I think our housekeeper would make a plate in the kitchen for the nanny, and then we'd eat in the dining room.
Do they eat with you? Never.
Do they go out with friends after hours and come back late? Probably. It was a non-issue. As long as they were available for their hours who cares what they do out of the home on their time off?

**I am now married with kids and we have a nanny and specifically wanted someone live-out.

Live-in help has room and board provided, per government rules. They don't have to sit down with the family, but they do have to be provided with food.

I've never heard of this. What government rules are these? Is this state or federal?

Here's a portion of the laws protecting ALL nannies, and the exemptions and special circumstances for live-in nannies:
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/flsa-domestic-service

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's totally personality dependent on you guys too. My husband gets irritated easily so live in is hard for us unless the person is overly considerate, ie treats the home like their own. For instance, the toilet paper holder was loose off the wall and or really peaved him she lived like that and didn't say anything, in his mind she wouldn't say anything until it fell off the wall. So anywho, we will be back to live out/day care as soon as covid is over. Too stressful.

Your husband sounds like a psychopath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a live-in nanny in NYC. They had a little room off the kitchen that they lived in during the week, and then went home on weekends, unless they were from another country in which case they did their own thing on weekends based out of that room.

What does your nanny do when they are off - stay in their room or hang out in the main house? none of them hung out with us, but my mother was the type to refer to nannies and housekeepers as "the help" and would never have let them hang out with her. I am pretty sure they only time they sat in the living room was for their interviews.
Do they cook their own meals or do you cook for them? They make/buy/bring their own food. They clean up after themselves. I think our housekeeper would make a plate in the kitchen for the nanny, and then we'd eat in the dining room.
Do they eat with you? Never.
Do they go out with friends after hours and come back late? Probably. It was a non-issue. As long as they were available for their hours who cares what they do out of the home on their time off?

**I am now married with kids and we have a nanny and specifically wanted someone live-out.

Live-in help has room and board provided, per government rules. They don't have to sit down with the family, but they do have to be provided with food.

I've never heard of this. What government rules are these? Is this state or federal?

Here's a portion of the laws protecting ALL nannies, and the exemptions and special circumstances for live-in nannies:
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/flsa-domestic-service

See 25n
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/field-operations-handbook/Chapter-25#B25n00

Room and board is a given for a live-in nanny; whether you can take it out of pay is the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny lives in our converted garage apartment. She “goes home” twenty feet away but keeps her regular nanny hours and has her own kitchen. She also goes to her daughter’s every weekend otherwise my kids would want to see her and she’s too sweet to say no to them.

I couldn’t have it any other way. It works for her and it works for us.

You should have taught your children that the nanny's living quarters are off limits to them at all times. She is not paid to take care of them if off hours.

And what if the nanny tells them “you’re always welcome” and “you can come over anytime you like”? Do I teach my kids that nanny is a liar?

You tell nanny when hired that children are not allowed to visit her in her quarters ever and they are never to call on her on her in off hours. You are the mother and have
Full responsibility for taking care of your children when nanny is off duty. She probably goes away on weekends so she can get away from you and your kids.

Wrong again. And our nanny is actually an intelligent adult who can speak for herself. If she tells the kids they can visit her anytime, I know she means it.

Stop embarrassing yourself by pretending you know something you don’t.

NP you’re an idiot. A lot of people offer things that would inconvenience them, just to be nice. x10 when it’s to your employer. You need to tell your kids “Nanny is being very kind by inviting you to her room, but we need to be considerate of her privacy and give her time to relax by herself.” And then actually keep tabs on your kids instead of letting them bother her during off hours.