Loving but annoying in laws visiting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister had a nickname I thought everyone used. Or so I thought. I never noticed that my Dad always used her formal name until my sister mentioned in our 30’s. After that, I heard her formal name when he used it (they sound somewhat similar).

Let them use the formal name. Your kids will like having a special name from their grandparents.

That's all fine if they can roll with it when the CHILD doesn't answer to her less-familiar name. But that's...not what's happening, now is it? They're getting put our that the child isn't answering/paying attention.

Do you see the difference?

why don’t your children know their formal names?

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't you just name your kid the nickname? This issue is going to follow her for life.

[Anonymous]

The bullies have arrived!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister had a nickname I thought everyone used. Or so I thought. I never noticed that my Dad always used her formal name until my sister mentioned in our 30’s. After that, I heard her formal name when he used it (they sound somewhat similar).

Let them use the formal name. Your kids will like having a special name from their grandparents.

That's all fine if they can roll with it when the CHILD doesn't answer to her less-familiar name. But that's...not what's happening, now is it? They're getting put our that the child isn't answering/paying attention.

Do you see the difference?

OP doesn’t say they are getting put out; it is OP that is irritated. But whatever. If the kid doesn’t like it the grandparents will change or the kid will get used to it. It’s silly to get upset that someone is calling your kid the name you gave her. Hopefully OP realizes that. Might be one of those things that after you consider someone annoying, every. Single. Thing. They. Do. Grates on your nerves, in which case it is OP that needs to learn to relax and let this minor stuff go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister had a nickname I thought everyone used. Or so I thought. I never noticed that my Dad always used her formal name until my sister mentioned in our 30’s. After that, I heard her formal name when he used it (they sound somewhat similar).

Let them use the formal name. Your kids will like having a special name from their grandparents.

Agree. My grandparent always called me by the version of my name from the country they had been born in. I liked it and thought it was special when I hear that name sometimes, I think of my grandparent, who has been gone for a long time now.

[Anonymous]

There is no way I could last 2 weeks with my IL's. I leave the room when the questions/accusations start. My DH is slowly getting better with standing up to his mom, but when the bat s*** crazy racist slurs come out of my FIL, I also take my kids out of the room and my husband deals with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister had a nickname I thought everyone used. Or so I thought. I never noticed that my Dad always used her formal name until my sister mentioned in our 30’s. After that, I heard her formal name when he used it (they sound somewhat similar).

Let them use the formal name. Your kids will like having a special name from their grandparents.

That's all fine if they can roll with it when the CHILD doesn't answer to her less-familiar name. But that's...not what's happening, now is it? They're getting put our that the child isn't answering/paying attention.

Do you see the difference?

why don’t your children know their formal names?

Yes, this is weird. Don’t name your child something, and then become annoyed when people use that name, OP. It makes you seem like a loon.

[Anonymous]

At least they are using her given name and not an unapproved nickname!

I’ll agree w the others that 2 weeks is too long.

[Anonymous]

Four night visit with my parents here - wondering what to do all day for day three. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Future visits are 2-3 nights max.

Or better yet have them move locally. This is what I did and now I never have to see my inlaws for more than a few hours at a time, I can leave whenever I want, and my spouse can see them without me! It’s glorious. Everyone thought I was crazy for encouraging this, but it’s been great. Never again will they sleep at my house or will I have to burn PTO just to visit them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Future visits are 2-3 nights max.

Or better yet have them move locally. This is what I did and now I never have to see my inlaws for more than a few hours at a time, I can leave whenever I want, and my spouse can see them without me! It’s glorious. Everyone thought I was crazy for encouraging this, but it’s been great. Never again will they sleep at my house or will I have to burn PTO just to visit them.

Great solution. I’ll just tell my retired ILs to sell their house in rural NJ for about $150,000 and…move to DC and buy a house, or even rent a condo. That’ll work. No sticker shock or anything!

[Anonymous]

Wow, 2 weeks!!! If my MiL was visiting for two weeks, I would be crying to DCUM as well. Godspeed.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP I feel for you. That would drive me crazy too. I'm glad you're able to see the loving side of them as well.

I am curious about the name thing--is the nickname related to the name, like Ellie for Elizabeth? Or is it completely unrelated like Bootsie for Elizabeth? If the latter, I can see why the in laws might prefer the longer name.

In any case--hang in there, you've got this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a real problem.

No, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One week down and one week to go...

My husband’s parents are good people but my FIL never shuts up. I’m trying to talk to my toddler or nurse the baby and he continues his long story about how great his kids were. My MIL questions everything I do (why don’t you let 2.5 yr old watch tv? Why don’t you make him say he’s sorry when he does something wrong? Why don’t you make him try new food? Etc.)

And they refuse to call the baby the nickname we chose and love. They keep yelling her formal name even though she doesn’t respond!!

Just a vent.

Had a very similar experience with my loving in laws recently. Maybe you have to “work late,” “go to a PTA meeting,” or other made up errand? Then go drink a cup of coffee by yourself.