How to you act towards ones you don’t respect and like?

[Anonymous]

I get it. You dislike me. You don’t respect me. Message sent. Now go post on the angry old man board instead of a board for parents in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them, act cordial, meet insults with insults, act passive aggressive, stay out of the way? I have to spend some days with folks I have no respect for, we mutually dislike each other, and have had conflicts in the past. I’ll be with a large group of people and everyone else likes these people.

What did they do to you OP?

Your answer will help us gauge what you should do, and answer your question more accurately.

Is it a real slight, or a perceived slight?

She's a SAHM.

Her husband only earns 220k/year.

They live in an apartment and drive cheap cars.

They are part of a dangerous political party.

LOL what?! This must be a joke

Who are you talking about? The OP or the one she dislikes?

[Anonymous]

This is my entire family OP.

Ignore, act cordial, and stay as far away from the worse ones as possible.

I make it so I only have to interact as little as possible, so have to see them for certain family events.

If one person goes completely out of line, I will insult back, but I'm not good at it. My DH is much more effective at the insults, so sometimes he will step in. My family, if that makes a difference, not his.

[Anonymous]

How you act reflects YOU, not them. Be polite and cordial. It reflects better on you. If I were around you and you were rude to them, then I would think less of you because of your behavior not theirs.

[Anonymous]

jsmith123 wrote:I am only in control of my own behavior, so I try to act in a way that I won't regret later on. If avoidance isn't possible, I'm polite.

I also always try to remind myself of the saying: "Never argue with a crazy person. Onlookers won't know the difference."

+1 And I love the quote. I've never heard it before but it is very true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them, act cordial, meet insults with insults, act passive aggressive, stay out of the way? I have to spend some days with folks I have no respect for, we mutually dislike each other, and have had conflicts in the past. I’ll be with a large group of people and everyone else likes these people.

What did they do to you OP?

Your answer will help us gauge what you should do, and answer your question more accurately.

Is it a real slight, or a perceived slight?

She's a SAHM.

Her husband only earns 220k/year.

They live in an apartment and drive cheap cars.

They are part of a dangerous political party.

LOL what?! This must be a joke

Who are you talking about? The OP or the one she dislikes?

Was that even OP posting? It makes no sense. None of those things are something that was “done” to OP.

[Anonymous]

If it’s work related and you are required to answer questions, remain professional answering questions.

[Anonymous]

Yeah unfortunately you have to be nice. Best case: Extra age yourself from the situation. I speak from experience. Was in this exact same situation many times with one person early on in my relationship with DH. This perfectly fine woman in the friend group was the life of the party who everyone liked but for some reason I couldn’t stand. My DH insisted on constantly hanging out with this group and eventually I started being rude and others in the group still think I’m crazy for biting rude or was having some sort of unexplained mental problems. So yeah it reflected poorly on me! But the good news is that we never hang out anymore l

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them, act cordial, meet insults with insults, act passive aggressive, stay out of the way? I have to spend some days with folks I have no respect for, we mutually dislike each other, and have had conflicts in the past. I’ll be with a large group of people and everyone else likes these people.

I'm certain that the OP is still reading this and intended it for me. This person knows that I read the page.

I spoke with the family about your concerns and the event that concerns you is off. No one wants any part of this dynamic and I don't blame them. Neither do I.

It's not about mutual dislike. It's about your inability to respect women. That is all.

The one thing that you forgot in your little game is that everyone left alive in the family is female and none of them are your blood relations. It's not about liking someone. It's about morality and values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them, act cordial, meet insults with insults, act passive aggressive, stay out of the way? I have to spend some days with folks I have no respect for, we mutually dislike each other, and have had conflicts in the past. I’ll be with a large group of people and everyone else likes these people.

I'm certain that the OP is still reading this and intended it for me. This person knows that I read the page.

I spoke with the family about your concerns and the event that concerns you is off. No one wants any part of this dynamic and I don't blame them. Neither do I.

It's not about mutual dislike. It's about your inability to respect women. That is all.

The one thing that you forgot in your little game is that everyone left alive in the family is female and none of them are your blood relations. It's not about liking someone. It's about morality and values.

I’m OP and you’ve got the wrong person. The circumstances don’t match up.

[Anonymous]

jsmith123 wrote:I am only in control of my own behavior, so I try to act in a way that I won't regret later on. If avoidance isn't possible, I'm polite.

I also always try to remind myself of the saying: "Never argue with a crazy person. Onlookers won't know the difference."

[Anonymous]

Keep it polite and brief if you speak to them but try to avoid interaction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them, act cordial, meet insults with insults, act passive aggressive, stay out of the way? I have to spend some days with folks I have no respect for, we mutually dislike each other, and have had conflicts in the past. I’ll be with a large group of people and everyone else likes these people.

I'm certain that the OP is still reading this and intended it for me. This person knows that I read the page.

I spoke with the family about your concerns and the event that concerns you is off. No one wants any part of this dynamic and I don't blame them. Neither do I.

It's not about mutual dislike. It's about your inability to respect women. That is all.

The one thing that you forgot in your little game is that everyone left alive in the family is female and none of them are your blood relations. It's not about liking someone. It's about morality and values.

I’m OP and you’ve got the wrong person. The circumstances don’t match up.

Good. Then the other person with respect issues, vacant morality, and hate for his family, to whom I addressed this response, and who reads this page and posts regularly, can get the message.

It would appear that repeating myself on an anonymous website is the only way that this person will understand what I say.

Not the first time I've had this problem with disrespectful people.

Respect isn't earned. It is given. Isn't that a military teaching? I remember learning this from a member of the military that I loved very much. But he is dead.

[Anonymous]

jsmith123 wrote:I am only in control of my own behavior, so I try to act in a way that I won't regret later on. If avoidance isn't possible, I'm polite.

I also always try to remind myself of the saying: "Never argue with a crazy person. Onlookers won't know the difference."

This response is spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

jsmith123 wrote:I am only in control of my own behavior, so I try to act in a way that I won't regret later on. If avoidance isn't possible, I'm polite.

I also always try to remind myself of the saying: "Never argue with a crazy person. Onlookers won't know the difference."

This response is spot on.

With one exception: avoidance is always possible. You can even avoid someone that you live with or have a responsibility to. If you disrespect them, then you should stick to avoiding them at all costs. Works like a charm.