Can we all agree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the texting part, but arm on shoulder? I think I have seen that from every coach we've ever had, male or female.

I agree on that one but the arm came after a few weeks of texting. Groomers are always inching into what they are allowed to do. I think you guys are right, we need to tell the club.

The behavior is unsettling as is other aspects

Please tell the club. Grooming works because it identifies kids with parents who aren’t aware of what’s happening. You protected your daughter, which is fantastic, and now you can protect others too.

don't stop at the club. At a minimum add in VYSA/MSYSA. I'd strongly consider the police too

This may be a situation where the guy is dumb and innocent. We used to live in a world where people were trusted. Not saying it should go unchecked or reported, but involving the police at this stage is a bit extreme unless the texts are suggestive / sexual in nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A male coach texting a young female player about non team information is bad? Inform the girls, check on injuries maybe but daily texts about reminding them how special they are or reminding a young female player how important it is “we stick together” is just inappropriate. I can’t tell my daughter how to avoid certain types of men if a coach does it and she is pressured to accept it.

This is a process called “grooming” and it invokes control and dominance. Probing to look for the boundary. Happens when a coach also pulls a girl aside at team sessions or games with their arm on their shoulder. It’s a difficult conversation to have with the coach and even harder to tell a player to control these things.

OP described classic grooming. I really don't trust a soccer club to investigate that appropriately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the texting part, but arm on shoulder? I think I have seen that from every coach we've ever had, male or female.

I agree on that one but the arm came after a few weeks of texting. Groomers are always inching into what they are allowed to do. I think you guys are right, we need to tell the club.

The behavior is unsettling as is other aspects

Please tell the club. Grooming works because it identifies kids with parents who aren’t aware of what’s happening. You protected your daughter, which is fantastic, and now you can protect others too.

This is a very good point about protecting others

[Anonymous]

I won’t go to police as it’s not sexual etc but groomers start off “safe” right? I’m going to report it to the board so they can help the club establish new rules.

The person who said the club may not investigate it correctly is right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst part is this person probably took safesport.
https://www.usyouthsoccer.org/safesport/

Wow

[Anonymous]

We had a rec coach do this to our DD. she didn’t have a phone but he offered to carpool - and then suddenly his DD was no longer in the car. Ew ew ew.

[Anonymous]

Personal contact information should not be used for anything besides sending out team information, or in the case of the players late to something or didn't show up and the coach is checking in to see if they are okay or need directions or something like that.

Everything else can be handled in person and should be handled in person.

[Anonymous]

Your calls in order should be:
- coach, telling him to stop
- club, telling them what's going on
- lawyer, to look at what can be charged
- police, if possible charges

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your calls in order should be:
- coach, telling him to stop
- club, telling them what's going on
- lawyer, to look at what can be charged
- police, if possible charges

Agreed but would add the league too - if ECNL then the ECNL legal contact

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your calls in order should be:
- coach, telling him to stop
- club, telling them what's going on
- lawyer, to look at what can be charged
- police, if possible charges

Agreed but would add the league too - if ECNL then the ECNL legal contact

No mention of ECNL anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your calls in order should be:
- coach, telling him to stop
- club, telling them what's going on
- lawyer, to look at what can be charged
- police, if possible charges

Agreed but would add the league too - if ECNL then the ECNL legal contact

No mention of ECNL anywhere.

Was an example

[Anonymous]

Men coaching girls sports teams makes about as much sense as women coaching boys teams. None.