To deal (or not to deal) with disgruntled parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But you do not want to be seen or heard as a sympathizer. So, scoot when you see her on the playground. Make a "very important" call, etc etc.

Now, THIS is scary.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP you are quoting. Why is it scary? I hate to be around people that want to spread their drama...I am not saying you should be worried about your school or anything like that, I am saying you do not want to be the ear for this woman and her negativity. Whether or not she is right, she is being middle school about it....it is NEVER good to have those people in your ear! Or, you think differently?

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP ... it is not necessary to allow such people to endlessly have you as their audience. One polite listening is enough ... after that, politely disengage with regrets that this person had a negative experience and move on even if she will not. Otherwise, you are just enabling and encouraging immature behavior. The high school kids refer to such people as EMUs.

[Anonymous]

What's scary to me about this attitude is the thought that other parents would somehow tag you as an undesirable "sympathizer" just because you are seen with someone who is known to be unhappy with the school. So you should shun such people altogether?

[Anonymous]

I would listen once and then stay FAR away. This may sound harsh, but we had a parent that took her child's situation VERY personally. The child was not a good fit at the school - for whatever reason - and as a result, the school, the other kids at the school, the other parents, the teachers, the administration etc. etc. all became "the issue". When you are talking about an unhappy child - there is nothing you CAN say. Anyway - I find this sort of stuff very uncomfortable. I believe the family made the right decision to leave, but they were sure to spread the story far and wide, and I'm not quire sure if their behavior had the intended effect.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Was there an incident? I believe you said the school should have handled something better. I'd avoid her but if you can't and anything she says resonates make sure you don't ignore what might be useful information for future advocating or advising at the school. She sounds disproportionately upset for someone switching schools so try to keep everything in perspective. There are some wackadoodles out there. At the same time some schools are a bit smug, they boast about teaching critical thinking to students but don't want the parents to do too much of it!

[Anonymous]

Well, some of this sympathizer shit is real. As a former teacher at a private school, when we had overly difficult parents making unnecessary waves all over, EVERYONE took notice of who was listening to them, including admin. I am not saying BIG BRO is watching, but I am saying that "birds of feather" can start, and totally unfairly. Sad, but true. I personally would not want to be associated with anyone creating that much trouble, just does not bode well to count yourself as a friend, esp. if she wasn't to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But you do not want to be seen or heard as a sympathizer. So, scoot when you see her on the playground. Make a "very important" call, etc etc.

Now, THIS is scary.

ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................yuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

god- this is sick. great political future though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, some of this sympathizer shit is real. As a former teacher at a private school, when we had overly difficult parents making unnecessary waves all over, EVERYONE took notice of who was listening to them, including admin. I am not saying BIG BRO is watching, but I am saying that "birds of feather" can start, and totally unfairly. Sad, but true. I personally would not want to be associated with anyone creating that much trouble, just does not bode well to count yourself as a friend, esp. if she wasn't to begin with.

Thanks for the intimidation tactics. The "administration" is taking notice. I'm very scared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP ... it is not necessary to allow such people to endlessly have you as their audience. One polite listening is enough ... after that, politely disengage with regrets that this person had a negative experience and move on even if she will not. Otherwise, you are just enabling and encouraging immature behavior. The high school kids refer to such people as EMUs.

I agree with you, including about the enabling. But I think the slang word you want is EMO, not EMU

[Anonymous]

Most people want to believe the school they chose for their children is a great one, or at least a very good one. So they defend their schools..until THEY have been wronged. And when they feel they've been wronged, they'll want a few sympathetic ears just as this parent did.

So - my advice is to treat this parent as you would have them treat you if you were in similar circumstances. So if you went to somebody to vent, how would you want them to treat you? Turn their back on you or at least listen to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Run, don't walk away. Don't be associated with her. If she has ANY valid points, she is shooting herself in the foot with her immature attitude toward handling her problems. That, and the private school community is SCARY small....her reputation will precede her....too bad.

But you do not want to be seen or heard as a sympathizer. So, scoot when you see her on the playground. Make a "very important" call, etc etc.

Wow. You don't even realize how disturbing your automaton-like your response is. You're from Stepford, I believe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run, don't walk away. Don't be associated with her. If she has ANY valid points, she is shooting herself in the foot with her immature attitude toward handling her problems. That, and the private school community is SCARY small....her reputation will precede her....too bad.

But you do not want to be seen or heard as a sympathizer. So, scoot when you see her on the playground. Make a "very important" call, etc etc.

Wow. You don't even realize how disturbing your automaton-like your response is. You're from Stepford, I believe?

Correction:

Wow. You don't even realize how disturbing and automaton-like your response is. You're from Stepford, I believe?

(Grammatical correction. Point stands.)

[Anonymous]

Oops ... sorry to drag the poor Emus into this mess ... they are lovely birds. Of course, if one came up to me on the playground, I would probably listen politely and slowly back away just the same!!

[Anonymous]

PP again. Totally off topic, but another really funny typo once made on a message board was ranting about "illeagles" in the public schools. Someone responded that folks shouldn't be so biased against birdlife, particularly when the poor things are sick!! Really made my day!