WWYD if your kid failed a semester of college in senior year?

[Anonymous]

I did that. I was depressed, but nobody (including me) recognized that. My parents were supportive. I personally took a year off and worked full time and then went back to school. I paid my own way, though, and it took me 2 more years to finish. I think it really depends on the kid, and whether you know what caused it. Kids with ADHD in particular may often need extra time to complete educational goals like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this totally out of the blue? I’d be worried about a drastic change and substance abuse.

Bingo, this.

Holding loans over a student's head is not going to fix this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be supportive. Get kid help s/he needs (psych, financial, bureaucratic). Ideally, have kid talk with academic advisor re options, but if kid can’t handle that now, talk with them yourself and find out what kid’s options are.

As fas as possible, this.

I am perplexed by people saying "Mason" or "community college." For a lot of students, the final semester means taking classes/doing projects that can only be done at that college. Depending on how regularly they're offered, a kid might have to wait for second semester of next year to take the senior seminar, etc. They could use that time to earn money to help pay for the extra semester and to get back on track in other ways.

It's been a tough year+ for a lot of kids. Have their back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be supportive. Get kid help s/he needs (psych, financial, bureaucratic). Ideally, have kid talk with academic advisor re options, but if kid can’t handle that now, talk with them yourself and find out what kid’s options are.

As fas as possible, this.

I am perplexed by people saying "Mason" or "community college." For a lot of students, the final semester means taking classes/doing projects that can only be done at that college. Depending on how regularly they're offered, a kid might have to wait for second semester of next year to take the senior seminar, etc. They could use that time to earn money to help pay for the extra semester and to get back on track in other ways.

It's been a tough year+ for a lot of kids. Have their back.

It has. At least for my kid, it was a year without enough interactions with enough other people. He has a few friends, but no acquaintances or classroom interactions that help a person stay calibrated.

Good luck to your child, OP - Not sure what I would do, but I know I would struggle to remember it was about him and not about me or my parenting when anger overtook me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Failed every class? Or just 1?

Right. You typically don't talk about failing a semester. You fail classes. OP if the kid is mentally okay then he needs a plan to finish up and get a degree. Maybe he can take classes locally while working part time and living at home, maybe it will take a year to make up the classes. If it were my kid the focus would be on doing whatever is required to graduate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Failed one of their last semesters? Out of the blue? Nothing before?

Would seem odd to me and I would want to get to the bottom of it. Sure anxiety and pandemic but the goal line is right there. What does your kid say?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t pay for failed college classes.

So you would make your kid pay you back? Really? That's pretty tough. I am pretty hard-nosed but I don't know if I could make that blanket statement. It seems like this is a call for help from OP's daughter. I wouldn't ignore the call and I wouldn't charge her the quarter to make the call unless I knew for sure she was just slacking or something. And it doesn't sound like this is the case here.

[Anonymous]

Support him and help him get across the finish line. Do not shame him.

[Anonymous]

Totally depends on circumstances. Skipping classes and assignments to play MarioKart is very different from botching first two exams and struggling to recover and maintain optimism for success. Turning in assignments that are graded unexpectedly or turning in low quality work/not submitting? Struggling with expectations is very different from blatent carelessness. I’d need to examine the portal of assignments and have a long honest chat with my child about the why before making a plan to move forward.

[Anonymous]

Academic advisor here: I've seen three kids withdraw from all of their classes this past week, including one senior who was scheduled to graduate. I've told each of them that I support their decision and they've shown courage and maturity in making the hard choices that will move their lives forward, and I've offered to help them plan their future studies when they are ready to do so.

That's what I would suggest to you, OP. What will allow your student to deal with this setback and to move forward in life? I would ask you student how he/she feels about the semester and what he/she wants to do now. Deal with your own emotions--anger and disappointment--on your own, separately from whatever discussion you have with your student.

The stress and cognitive overload involved in doing WHOLE SEMESTERS of courses online/through Zoom is real, especially for students living with anxiety or depression. Even in the best of times, college is one of the worst places to try to stage a recovery from/live with mental health challenges, and these certainly have not been the best of times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to avoiding assignments and not studying. DX of anxiety and ADHD.

OP this is not enough info to answer your question.

This past year was super hard. That said were they in an apartment alone? Did they fail all classes or just one? Has this happened before? Did they reach out for help at any time?

For us, we would prob make them if the college allows them to return next semester take out loans for school if they want to go back. With the understanding that we would pay the loans back if they made B's or better. Or ask them if they want to quit school go back later take some time off but must get a job and pay their own way. They are adults time to figure that out.

I will say this many students and I mean many did just fine distance learning. I would have to really know my kid tried their hardest and still failed. Otherwise, they are on their own.

[Anonymous]

Drugs or rape.

[Anonymous]

Find out why.

Determine remediation.

Fix the problem.

Reenroll for another semester and/or possibly summer. Consider whether to repeat or substitute other courses if possible.

Monitor closely.

Complete program and get the degree.

College in four years is a plan, not a destiny.

And the hateful, nasty, resentful, punitive responses upthread are terrible Some of them (community college) make no sense to remediate senior level problems. Others (I don’t pay for failing grades) do nothing to move the ball down the field.

People, particularly when they have special needs, screw up in college. They get in over their head. They take classes without adequate prerequisites. They get too focused on being finished and not enough on focusing well. College is perhaps the longest term investment a person makes. Considering the already sunk costs, an additional semester shouldn’t be treated as a disaster.

[Anonymous]

10:16 is the wisest.

Help your child find a path forward from where they are.

Congrats to you all for getting him this far. The finish line is in sight. He tripped. Help him get up and finish the race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:16 is the wisest.

Help your child find a path forward from where they are.

Congrats to you all for getting him this far. The finish line is in sight. He tripped. Help him get up and finish the race.

This.