Long trip with a tween -- try to meet other tweens while traveling, or nah?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and it's interesting to see such a wide range of responses. I think we'll give it a try and see how it goes.

Are you in denial? You did NOT get a wide range of answers at all. Every single poster said NO to finding random kids for your kid to play with.

[Anonymous]

I say heck no, but why don’t you ask your kid?

[Anonymous]

My daughter has a 5:00 conference call with her friends most nights. When we travel, I make sure she gets to do the call at least some of the nights. That is usually all the social stuff she needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say this is worth a try if your friends have friends whose kids they know pretty well and so it doesn't seem contrived for them to include the kids in some low-key outdoor activity. So, less like a fix-up and more like a hangout. Does that make sense at all? I'm answering from my perspective as a middle-school teacher, but also because 15 years ago our family went on a long road trip up the California coast and arranged to do a hike with friends of friends who, like us, had a 12 y.o.son. My husband and I had met the parents years before at the wedding of our mutual friends, but we hadn't seen them since then. Our sons hit it off and our families ended up taking other vacations together. Ten years later the guys both got into the same law school and decided to room together. In August, their son will be in our son's wedding. You never know when you might make a friend for life. Have a good trip, OP!

I love this story

[Anonymous]

I would say NO, but also ask your kid for his input. I would also make a big effort to find local activities that he would enjoy. Have him investigate areas where you are visiting and come up with some ideas of what he would like to do. For example, obscure museum tours or city tour via a Segway.

[Anonymous]

It all depends on how long is long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is super kid specific.

My 12 year old son would straight up hitchhike back home if I forced him to meet stranger tweens during a family road trip vacation. He would absolutely barrel roll out of the car at 60 mph and refuse to speak to us for months.

My 13 year old DD would do the same. If your kid has a phone and friends with phones, he or she will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is super kid specific.

My 12 year old son would straight up hitchhike back home if I forced him to meet stranger tweens during a family road trip vacation. He would absolutely barrel roll out of the car at 60 mph and refuse to speak to us for months.

Yep. You're overthinking your trip. He should be polite when you visit families, but unless there is a SUPER NATURAL FIT -- like, there is a kid right next door who is the same age and your friends already have a close relationship with -- don't push this.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the others. This is a super weird and terrible idea.
Why don't you arrange for your kid to Zoom with friends while on the road? Or better yet, have him text them directly?

And this all begs the question: If you are sure your kid will be bored and lonely (to the point that you have to arrange awkward playdates along the way), why are you taking an epic long road trip to begin with?
I think most families plan trips that they know their kids will enjoy.

[Anonymous]

My son would be fine with it, if the other kids were sporty-ish and wanted to play outside. I specifically asked him. He said he would not want to have to make tons of small talk, but it would be fine to have someone that wanted to shoot hoops or practice soccer or play tennis.

[Anonymous]

At 12, my DD was open to spending the day with another mother-child traveling pair that we encountered at a museum in Chicago. The kids hit it off, both nerdy, despite being introverts and the mom didn’t annoy me so we toured the museum together, had lunch, and hit two more museums before the kids were exhausted. The mom suggested getting together for dinner or maybe spending the next day together. We exchanged cell phone numbers, but neither of us contacted the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the others. This is a super weird and terrible idea.
Why don't you arrange for your kid to Zoom with friends while on the road? Or better yet, have him text them directly?

And this all begs the question: If you are sure your kid will be bored and lonely (to the point that you have to arrange awkward playdates along the way), why are you taking an epic long road trip to begin with?
I think most families plan trips that they know their kids will enjoy.

This ^^^^^

Why take this trip if it sounds like no fun at all. Also it’s covid. You want the people u are visiting to invite other people over for your son that you don’t know? I was very outgoing at that age and would be mortified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is super kid specific.

My 12 year old son would straight up hitchhike back home if I forced him to meet stranger tweens during a family road trip vacation. He would absolutely barrel roll out of the car at 60 mph and refuse to speak to us for months.

Lol. My kid also. However he has friends who befriend anyone. It really is kid dependent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son would be fine with it, if the other kids were sporty-ish and wanted to play outside. I specifically asked him. He said he would not want to have to make tons of small talk, but it would be fine to have someone that wanted to shoot hoops or practice soccer or play tennis.

I’m the PP wimpy kid poster and agree with this too. Overall it’s a bad idea, but if there were a bunch of kids who wanted to play a pick up game of sorts that didn’t involve talking and didn’t last too long, my son would do it. It would have to be spontaneous and not arranged by parents. That’s for sure.

[Anonymous]

I used to take super long trip with my parents when I was growing up. I never needed a "playdate", we were usually too busy sightseeing.

However, occasionally there would be an opportunity for spontaneous peer interaction (I'd go for a swim in the hotel pool and another kid would be there too) and those were enjoyable.

If there are pools, arcades, parks, etc., around where he might find some kids he wants to hang around with, that's fine. Having something arranged, however, creates an obligation that is at best awkward and embarrassing, and if the kids don't click or turn out to be jerks is liable to be miserable.

Some kids are more social than others. Why don't you ask your child if they want you to make arrangements to hang out with other kids? A tween is old enough to decide if they'd rather entertain themselves or spend time socializing with strangers.