Where to post about issues with my older child? Where to post about the 16-24 young adult age group?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeff, can we please try a Parents of Young Adults forum?

Yes please!

That's a great idea.

Another vote for this. I’ve been on DCUM since DD was in middle school. She’s graduating from college next week.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP, and that "dart" referenced by a PP wasn't mine. I truly wish there were a dedicated place for all of this wisdom to land. I can't even begin to describe the angst and anxiety trying to navigate this age. I have one kid who will follow the typical high school-to-college path, but my other kid is not there, and from what I hear anecdotally from other parents who are brave enough to share their experiences, my kid is not the only one struggling.

As DCUM currently stands, posts about parenting young adults are everywhere: midlife concerns (since we're 50-ish while parenting young adults), college (since our kids are bouncing around, but everyone else is asking whether to retake the SAT), tweens and teens (our kids have late teen problems, but this forum also includes younger parents asking about playdates for 7th graders), family relationships (which is the catchall for anything from issues with sisters-in-law to elderly aunts), money and finances (everything from retirement questions to polls about savings and HHI, whereas I would really like more advice on how to handle quasi-supporting my 19 YO) and probably more. I desperately wish I could easily find the support of other parents of young adults, so if the topic were centralized this would be so much easier.

I completely understand the reluctance to make this change, but please give it consideration! I am grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and that "dart" referenced by a PP wasn't mine. I truly wish there were a dedicated place for all of this wisdom to land. I can't even begin to describe the angst and anxiety trying to navigate this age. I have one kid who will follow the typical high school-to-college path, but my other kid is not there, and from what I hear anecdotally from other parents who are brave enough to share their experiences, my kid is not the only one struggling.

As DCUM currently stands, posts about parenting young adults are everywhere: midlife concerns (since we're 50-ish while parenting young adults), college (since our kids are bouncing around, but everyone else is asking whether to retake the SAT), tweens and teens (our kids have late teen problems, but this forum also includes younger parents asking about playdates for 7th graders), family relationships (which is the catchall for anything from issues with sisters-in-law to elderly aunts), money and finances (everything from retirement questions to polls about savings and HHI, whereas I would really like more advice on how to handle quasi-supporting my 19 YO) and probably more. I desperately wish I could easily find the support of other parents of young adults, so if the topic were centralized this would be so much easier.

I completely understand the reluctance to make this change, but please give it consideration! I am grateful.

A plug for the special needs forum. Doesn’t solve the overall problem of teens vs. tweens, but lots of parents of teens and young adults who are struggling in that forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an 18 y.o. and I was also considering asking Jeff for a Parents of Young Adults forum.

I've been on DCUM a long time, and it does feel weird when you realize you've outgrown a forum. The latest is the "Teen and Tween" which look, the issues that come up with parenting a 12 y.o. is very different than an 18 y.o. Prepuberty, puberty, and post-puberty are all jammed in one section.

I would love a Parents of Young Adults forum, which I think can handle all of:

~18 y.o. kids who are still at home and in high school,

kids who are out of the house and in college,

kids who are at home but in college,

kids who are at home and not in college (working), and

Kids who are out of the house working

Lots of different situations there, but it would be so much better if we had a forum for all those situations rather than in the Teens, or the College forum.

Really this age is about how to get them to fledge, which involves preparing them to fledge, fledging, watching them falter from afar and helping but not rescuing them. The parenting style is completely different again, from tweens and young teens.

When I started reading this site, there wasn't even a Teens and Tweens category. Which makes me realize just how long I have been here ....

[Anonymous]

DP, I also like the idea of a young adult forum. I don’t think the special needs forum needs to be consumed with these topics that aren’t necessarily neuro-atypical, but more “failure to launch. Relationship forum is appropriate minus its own forum, but when I think of that forum, I think extended family, dating, and the like. Parenting young adults is more specific. Also, as a parent, I would seek out that forum for advice and to commiserate and provide support. I don’t presently seek out topics in this way in the relationship forum, because it requires weeding through too much family drama.

[Anonymous]

I think a 'Parents of Young Adults' would be useful, and I would love to see once created.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a 'Parents of Young Adults' would be useful, and I would love to see once created.

you KNOW it would fill up with the moms of "precocious teens" within seconds.

[Anonymous]

It probably is time for some sort of parenting young adults forum. I've been participating since 2003 and have a 17 year old. My guess is there are more and more of us longtime participants who have older kids.

[Anonymous]

An example of parents not realizing their kid is a grown-up? This thread!
There is a teen forum, if your kid is a teen, up to 19 years old, no?
There is a Family Relationship forum too, no? What the heck are young adult kids??

[Anonymous]

If Jeff is going to consider such a thread, I hope it would be a general "young adult" forum rather than just parenting of a young adult. There are issues that pertain to 18-25 yos that are not restricted to just parenting of them. May be a good place to put questions about dealing with Gen Z in general, not just about parenting (like if you have Gen Z co-worker or have to deal with Gen Z but aren't their parent or even for Gen Z to post and ask questions for themselves).

[Anonymous]

Jeff, we just can't quit DCUM! Seriously, the transition to parenting young adults presents new challenges, requiring agility, empathy and imagination. As a parent, you're learning how to be a friend and a coach and also someone who leans on your young adult kids for help and guidance. We can help each other if you'll give us a place to do that. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a 'Parents of Young Adults' would be useful, and I would love to see once created.

+100. I've got a 21-year-old full-time college student living at home.