Introverts in the "socially skewed" college admissions process

[Anonymous]

Exceptional writing/essays could demonstrate his depth as a thinker. Teacher recommendations, too.

[Anonymous]

OP -- unfortunately, I think the answer is that kids like that generally don't get into the most competitive schools, unfortunately. They should, but they don't.

[Anonymous]

OP: Have you seen the movie "Booksmart"? You should.

Stop worrying about what the cool kids are doing, and realize that all you can do is play-up the uniqueness of your own kid.

They will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's a more cheering anecdote (I posted above). A kid I know applied to HYP with stats that weree good but not amazing. However, he an intense long-standing academic interest in ancient Japanese culture and language, and he planned to major in Japanese studies. He got in, I assume because colleges need Asian language and culture majors and there aren't that many applicants. So that's a way a niche academic interest (and matching ECs) set someone apart.

That's pretty cool.

[Anonymous]

Don’t encourage your kid to pretend they are someone else. They sound like they have a lot going for them. They should speak with an authentic voice in their essay, and search for a school where someone like them will be valued and celebrated.

Don’t try to package your child . It is a poor habit for a happy future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Have you seen the movie "Booksmart"? You should.

Stop worrying about what the cool kids are doing, and realize that all you can do is play-up the uniqueness of your own kid.

They will be fine.

Yes - so - asking for others to share the uniqueness in similar types of kids. Not worried about the "cool kids" or even about whether my kid gets into uber competitive. Just surveying the landscape and it's filled with extrovert or prize winner stories - curious about introvert stories.

[Anonymous]

What does your child want? My high-stats but introverted kid stated that she did not want to go to school with competitive overachievers anymore after 4 years in her competitive HS. She is happy at a smaller LAC that is well-regarded (and in the top 15, if you're into rankings).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t encourage your kid to pretend they are someone else. They sound like they have a lot going for them. They should speak with an authentic voice in their essay, and search for a school where someone like them will be valued and celebrated.

Don’t try to package your child . It is a poor habit for a happy future.

Agreed - I noted that I care about child's natural interests. I am not looking to push them into anything (and they wouldn't do it anyway!) I'm sure there are stories of other natural interests for other kids that fit this profile....but they are just not the ones typically profiled by colleges (typically - student reps and tour guides are outgoing!) so I'm looking for other stories of introvert parents to paint a broader brush of this part of the process. My child has time to grow and find all kinds of interests - the curiosity is how colleges see these introvert kids when they are always showcasing the extroverts as examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your child want? My high-stats but introverted kid stated that she did not want to go to school with competitive overachievers anymore after 4 years in her competitive HS. She is happy at a smaller LAC that is well-regarded (and in the top 15, if you're into rankings).

Mine may do the same....and that'll be great! We'll see, but a lot of those LAS also say the same about showing passions through activities and leadership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your child want? My high-stats but introverted kid stated that she did not want to go to school with competitive overachievers anymore after 4 years in her competitive HS. She is happy at a smaller LAC that is well-regarded (and in the top 15, if you're into rankings).

Mine may do the same....and that'll be great! We'll see, but a lot of those LAS also say the same about showing passions through activities and leadership.

Don't over-stress about this. My kid (attending smaller LAC above) had consistency in her activities.(maybe you could call that "passion"?) All her clubs and volunteering related to animals and/or environmental issues but she was not a leader, just a participant. Her essay was about a quirky pastime of hers (and life lessons learned from it). Her application showed who she was. The strong academics/scores were the most important part, and the rest of it showed her following through on areas of interest.
Think about what is more important. "Packaging" your kid to fit them into the profile you think top colleges want or giving your kid opportunity to explore their interests and be themselves and finding a college that fits them. Are you sending the message "you can't achieve anything unless you are not true to yourself" or "you have many strengths that will lead you to success".

[Anonymous]

Top Engineering and STEM focused schools don't care so much about "extroverted" activities like sports, leadership positions, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Top Engineering and STEM focused schools don't care so much about "extroverted" activities like sports, leadership positions, etc.

DC is not interested in STEM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your child want? My high-stats but introverted kid stated that she did not want to go to school with competitive overachievers anymore after 4 years in her competitive HS. She is happy at a smaller LAC that is well-regarded (and in the top 15, if you're into rankings).

Mine may do the same....and that'll be great! We'll see, but a lot of those LAS also say the same about showing passions through activities and leadership.

Don't over-stress about this. My kid (attending smaller LAC above) had consistency in her activities.(maybe you could call that "passion"?) All her clubs and volunteering related to animals and/or environmental issues but she was not a leader, just a participant. Her essay was about a quirky pastime of hers (and life lessons learned from it). Her application showed who she was. The strong academics/scores were the most important part, and the rest of it showed her following through on areas of interest.
Think about what is more important. "Packaging" your kid to fit them into the profile you think top colleges want or giving your kid opportunity to explore their interests and be themselves and finding a college that fits them. Are you sending the message "you can't achieve anything unless you are not true to yourself" or "you have many strengths that will lead you to success".

Thanks! Your story (and others) help to see how to take what they actually want to do (and what they did participate in) and apply it to this component of the process that is normally described using extroverts as examples. It would totally be against my child's nature to go and sign up for a million things - and have never asked them to do so. Again - not looking for DC to not be true to self but asking how introverts show the second part (in bold).

[Anonymous]

Being introverted is no excuse for not getting involved in activities and not doing interesting things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the larger point is that it's very difficult to get into Harvard (since you mention it in your first para), whether you're an extrovert or an introvert. There is really no school club you can join that would make it more likely.

It's very unlikely EVEN for truly outstanding kids like your child with perfect scores and excellent grades at a top school. I think recognizing that early is helpful in framing your expectations.

Oh yes - I totally realize this. There are no expectations for Harvard. Granted, a great school like Harvard would probably be on DC's list to "try for" (or if not Harvard, some other equally insanely competitive school) - it is not like this will ever be the goal. In the end, we would want them to create a broad list of schools that they would be happy to attend.

It's just that using somewhere like Harvard is the perfect example for what I am trying to get at - kids with great grades and test scores are a dime a dozen in their admissions piles - so they are looking for more and it always seems these qualities point to extroverts or to people who go out and win prizes or create/invent things or ideas people. I feel like there have to be introverts like my child out there and that there are natural ways to be yourself as an introvert but show who you are in these other aspects of what schools are looking for. So having anecdotes from other parents of highly academic introverts (with not prizes or even regional-level talent) that were successful at uber-competitive admissions (like Harvard) is helpful .

Honestly, don't even know if DC would want to apply to Harvard - but if they chose - Yale or Princeton or Stanford or whatever as their top reach... the same issues would apply.

But you can be an extreme introvert who invents things and wins prizes! Almost all the kids at my kid's school who win science prizes are very quiet and introvertted. This is what I can't quite understand about your post. Perhaps what you really mean is intellectual? Your child is highly intellectual and his/her primary interests are academics, and you are wondering if that itself is valued by colleges? Yes, it is. Will it set your child apart in highly selective admissions? It just depends. Colleges want some super-intellectuals, but they also want rowers, and tennis players, and bassoonists....

Agree that OP is conflating a bunch of things. Can your introvert write? Mine said he was a quiet leader in essay and demonstrated how that was the case. He got accepted into his top choice - a top 25 school. Instead of strategizing for your kid, why don't you let him figure it out. I wasn't dictating the direction my son took. If your kid is aiming for a top school, this should absolutely not be a problem.