Live in vs. live out nanny
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
My employers didn't want to worry about snow. I wouldn't drop my rates unless you offered completely separate quarters. |
Anonymous
Depends. Do you need the nanny for sick days? Or can she schedule a class or other PT job during those "off" hours? |
Anonymous
*not attached to your home. I once had a separate studio apartment in the high-rise. |
Anonymous
. A basement not connected to the house? Private kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, two entrances, etc? |
Anonymous
Most nanny employers don’t rent out their basements. They don’t need the income. |
Anonymous
+1. There was no reduction in pay for our live-in. She would often stay over at friends’ or relatives’ home on the weekends. The flexibility was worth it to us and the savings in living expenses and having no commute made it worth her while. |
Anonymous
| We did a live in this year and it's been great with covid. If we need to quarantine, then she quarantines with us since we've all been exposed to each other anyways. It means that she doesn't expose her parents or a roommate like she would if she was living elsewhere. |
Anonymous
|
We are entering our third year with a live-in. It's been a great experience. She has a suite on the third floor of the house - there is a living room, bedroom and bathroom but obviously no separate entrance or kitchen. The main advantage to us has been a stable continuity of care, and another adult pair of hands in the household. She handles only childcare and the children's laundry, nothing else.
I will say that personal chemistry is absolutely key to a successful live-in nanny relationship. No matter how much you try to see this through a purely professional lens, this person must fit into the household, and you should fit into her social makeup as well. So make sure that you enjoy her company, and she enjoys yours. This is not a relationship where you close the door at the end of the workday and you're done. Even when she's off, she's still in the broad context of your house, and it is key that she feels comfortable in this setup, and that you feel comfortable with, in effect, someone who becomes temporarily a part of your family. |
Anonymous
Are there two legal exits (one can be a window) from the bedroom? Are there two exits from the basement? If not, nobody should be down there. |
Anonymous
|
I had a bot a live in and live out nanny. The advantage of a live in:
- never late - to work off hours. I needed help in the morning before work getting older kid ready while dealing with baby. A live in nanny made my life less stressful - if I wanted to pop out of the house to get something and DH wasn’t there I wouldn’t have to worry about extra care. - ability to go out on weeknights. With a live in I would go out once a week I the evening with DH on a weeknight for dinner. My kids were pretty good sleepers so all this would mean is giving the nanny the monitor. Would check with nanny beforehand on which evening she would be home - a live in in is generally cheaper. Yes not by much looking at the hourly rate but it’s still a significant amount when looking at monthly take home pay. - she did light household tasks such as household laundry dry including her own. Our live out only did the baby’s laundry. Cons: - a live in nanny requires space. You definitely have to give up a bedroom and perhaps a bathroom. We gave up both. - higher grocery bill. We had an open kitchen policy. Nanny could eat whatever was in the house. We also gave her her own mini fridge in her room in case she wanted her own fridge space. - need to set boundaries. Her work was over once we were back home from work which was around 6 pm. At that point she would be free to do whatever she wants. Usually she had dinner before that, she would sometimes eat dinner after and usually in the dining room (We would eat in the kitchen). Also having her own fridge in her room helped with privacy. It was a small fridge but she didn’t have to come down for example to get a glass of water for example. We also made it very clear that weekends were off. We didn’t ask her to do anything on weekends (even something simple like watch the baby on monitor). That way the boundaries would be clear. |
Anonymous
Oh and I agree with PP. Good social chemistry is key. Even if you set boundaries you need to be comfortable with each other. The nanny will be part of the family. |
Anonymous
|
We had a live in for about 15 years - it was amazing. A live in is more flexible and never can't come because of snow days. She really become a part of our home and family.
The real key is finding someone you mesh with and also agreeing, in advance, anything you care about. (guests? meals? etc?) We rarely ate dinner with our nanny - she had a half kitchen in her room and preferred to eat alone when she was done working, although of course there were times we all ate together (mostly for birthdays, holidays or whatever). But of course we paid for all her food, cell phone, etc. We all preferred space after work, I never let my kids knock on her door when she wasn't working, and she didn't really bother us when she was off either. We were all respectful of each other's privacy, and of course this developed over time. We had two "emergencies" during her time with us and it was such a relief to have someone at the house that we trusted. It was strange when she left and we were happy to get our room back, but the kids grew up and we didn't need her. Also, over time, as the kids got older, the job transformed from all child care to a combination of driving, child care, errands, etc. |
Anonymous
|
I am not sure why everyone thinks having a live in nanny means they are working 24/7. I am sure there are situations where this is the case but I think they are the exception to the rule.
We converted part of our basement into a nanny suite, she had her own entrance, a kitchenette, and private bath. Over the course of 12 years, we had four nannies and, save the one that was brings up memories of Hand the Rocked the Cradle and tried to seduce my husband, it all worked well for us. if you do not mind taking that risk, I would give it a try. Our last nanny had a master's degree in education and, when we no longer needed a nanny, asked to stay on in our nanny suite in exchange for being our 'date night' childcare. She was part of the family. There has to be ground rules, for the children, parents, and the nanny. My advice would be to set your expectations up front. |
Anonymous
|
We had 2 live-in nannies for our child. One stayed for 2 years. The other for one year. And then Covid hit.
Live-in is a dream. Yes, we paid less in take home pay; however, we also paid their taxes and we paid health insurance and cell phone. Neither nanny had their own car. It was a delightful situation for all. We had the space in our house. And it was nice to know there was always a back up, unless she was traveling to see friends out of state. We paid for extra hours and overnight. We had a nanny contract that laid out our expectations. We had bi-weekly meetings to check-in with each other. This arrangement worked well for us with a newborn through 3 years old. This setup avoided no shows, call-outs, and tardiness. |
Anonymous
No seperate entrance would be against fire code. Who would want a job where they have to share kitchen,? |