Can you recommend a marriage counselor?

[Anonymous]

Dr. Brian McDonald

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I live out of area so can’t recommend a specific counselor, but I recommend finding someone who practices EFT — Emotional(ly?) Focused Therapy. And in fact that is a recommendation I got from DCUM a year+ ago. DH and I have been in for 6 months and it is going pretty well. It’s up and down and I still have my doubts sometimes but overall it’s much improved. Allowed us to have a neutral space to talk about our emotional “injuries” and also come up with better communication strategies so we don’t fall into old dysfunctional patterns. Before that we were sitting down to discuss the logistics and possibility of a divorce.

I will say, both partners need to be invested in it — if we had tried going 18 mos ago it would have failed because DH had no interest, did not think we needed it.

PS married 12 years, together 18, 2 kids.

So our therapist claimed to be trained in this but did not seem to use it all - aside from having us read a book about it. It really did not help our marriage and took a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I live out of area so can’t recommend a specific counselor, but I recommend finding someone who practices EFT — Emotional(ly?) Focused Therapy. And in fact that is a recommendation I got from DCUM a year+ ago. DH and I have been in for 6 months and it is going pretty well. It’s up and down and I still have my doubts sometimes but overall it’s much improved. Allowed us to have a neutral space to talk about our emotional “injuries” and also come up with better communication strategies so we don’t fall into old dysfunctional patterns. Before that we were sitting down to discuss the logistics and possibility of a divorce.

I will say, both partners need to be invested in it — if we had tried going 18 mos ago it would have failed because DH had no interest, did not think we needed it.

PS married 12 years, together 18, 2 kids.

OP, this is the most important and accurate thing that has been said. Marriage counseling does work, but only when both people really want to save the marriage. Both people generally say they want to save the marriage but at least one person is usually lying. Marriage counseling works, let me say it again, but only if both people are truly invested.

[Anonymous]

Guttman And Pearl

[Anonymous]

My #1 tip is to factor in proximity heavily. If it’s far, you’ll be more susceptible to finding excuses not to go this week.

[Anonymous]

https://www.lifebridgecoaching.com/ is a pretty good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i’m going to save you a ton of time and money. it won’t work. you won’t listen to me and you’ll go to counseling and it will fail. i promise. wishing you love and peace. get out and live your best life.

NP, also in a marriage with awful/no communication which was made worse by the pandemic. Why do you say that? Genuinely curious.

NP also same. I think in my case its 24/7 around them we are still at home working. He got lazier and things are spiraling. hes got many more issues and doesn't work on them Ive been working on mine and have grown. I realize I deserve to be treated better and not ignored. I want out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prefer someone in person and not virtual. DH and I just can’t get along and can’t communicate. The pandemic has only made things worse. We are in our early 30s, been together for almost 20 years with 3 children. I feel like we are only together for the kids.

We live in Northern Virginia.

My spouse and I have been in counseling since October, and it has worked wonders. We both enthusiastically and unreservedly recommend Paulette Hurwitz (our sessions have been virtual, but she's also starting to see patients in office very soon). She's in Ch Ch. Worth the drive if you want to improve your marriage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/paulette-hurwitz-chevy-chase-md/294096

Does insurance cover it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i’m going to save you a ton of time and money. it won’t work. you won’t listen to me and you’ll go to counseling and it will fail. i promise. wishing you love and peace. get out and live your best life.

Also, your spouse will lie in order to get out of counseling faster. I know what to say in counselling - It doesn't mean I feel that way for real!!