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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I live out of area so can’t recommend a specific counselor, but I recommend finding someone who practices EFT — Emotional(ly?) Focused Therapy. And in fact that is a recommendation I got from DCUM a year+ ago. DH and I have been in for 6 months and it is going pretty well. It’s up and down and I still have my doubts sometimes but overall it’s much improved. Allowed us to have a neutral space to talk about our emotional “injuries” and also come up with better communication strategies so we don’t fall into old dysfunctional patterns. Before that we were sitting down to discuss the logistics and possibility of a divorce. 
[b]
I will say, both partners need to be invested in it — if we had tried going 18 mos ago it would have failed because DH had no interest, did not think we needed it. [/b]

PS married 12 years, together 18, 2 kids. [/quote]

OP, this is the most important and accurate thing that has been said.  Marriage counseling does work, but only when both people really want to save the marriage. Both people generally say they want to save the marriage but at least one person is usually lying.  Marriage counseling works, let me say it again, but only if both people are truly invested.[/quote]

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